The Third One Between
by SlvrSoleAlchmst1
Summary: In which Todoroki decides he's attracted to Midoriya and that he's a healthier rival for Midoriya than Bakugo is. Todoroki doesn't care if he makes Bakugo explode as he starts getting closer to Midoriya; it's worth it to insert himself between those two for Midoriya's sake. Midoriya seems to like Todoroki back, but will Bakugo hinder their relationship?
1. School Festival Aftermath

_**Author Note:**_ _I think it has been TEN YEARS since I've bothered to write anything for a fandom that's not Code Geass - but My Hero Academia has me by the balls._

 _I'll be trying my best to handle these characters well and improve as I go along. Pardon if it's clunky for now. (I love All Might, oh my god. And I'm absolutely fascinated by the Midoriya-Todoroki-Bakugo trio of drama. How fun.)_

* * *

"YOU GOT THAT, DEKUUU?!" shouted Bakugo.

The yell made Shoto's nostrils flare. He wriggled a finger inside his ear, too. Shoto didn't come out from behind the hedges in front of the school where he'd stopped to analyze the situation, however.

He watched Midoriya standing with one hand holding his backpack, currently facing Bakugo in the courtyard. He could see Midoriya flinch.

Bakugo wasn't finished yet. Shoto had learned by now that Bakugo never quite finished.

"I DON'T WANNA HEAR YOU TRY TO TELL ME 'CONGRATULATIONS' AGAIN, YOU DAMN NERD! It's not a win if I don't count it! YOU'RE SUCH A STUPID PIECE OF—"

"W-well," Midoriya said, in an attempt to cut Bakugo off. "Actually, Kacchan..."

Amazingly, Bakugo's mouth closed — but his ears were still dyed fuchsia with ire. Shoto raised both his eyebrows and kept watching. If Bakugo had possessed Shoto's Quirk, Shoto was certain Bakugo would be steaming.

The silence only lasted half an instant. "SPIT IT OUT, DEKU."

Shoto sighed. Just listening to Bakugo made him exasperated.

Midoriya raised both hands, while Bakugo looked like he might start swearing. Shoto heard a female groan, and realized Uraraka must be there as well; Shoto just couldn't see around the hedge. What a scene Bakugo stood there making.

Midoriya's voice stammered, as if to mimic the way his knees shook. "It's just that, you _did_ win," Midoriya said.

Shoto couldn't help but notice — again — the bandages that criss-crossed Midoriya's broken fingers. To think Midoriya would stand there and argue with _Bakugo_ just to congratulate him, when he'd been injured... and when Bakugo so obviously didn't care to talk.

But that was just who Midoriya was in the end, wasn't it.

"Even All Might has acknowledged you, s-so—"

"I DON'T WANNA HEAR IT," hollered Bakugo.

Uraraka moved; Shoto could see her now around the hedge. He stepped back so she wouldn't see him, too. No need for them to know that Shoto was here, that he hadn't simply gone home with his father. Shoto wasn't sure yet whether Midoriya's gang saw him as anything besides a threat; right now, they didn't need more threats.

He watched Uraraka straightening beside Midoriya. He figured Uraraka must be dying to yell at Bakugo... so Shoto felt very surprised when she didn't open her mouth. Her hands were balled in fists in front of her chest, but she looked as hunkered down and scared of Bakugo as Midoriya did. Was it because Bakugo had defeated her during their match?

"DEKU," Bakugo was roaring, "you make me want to MURDER you..."

Shoto wondered if he should interfere, even if he might not be completely trusted. He didn't see Iida anywhere... and he still worried about that. _A family emergency_ , he had overheard a student say. Shoto understood those kinds of matters. But if Iida wasn't okay, and worse, if Iida couldn't be here now... Well, that meant Midoriya was down one good friend to defend him, if things got bad. Was it time Shoto showed himself? He wasn't friends with Midoriya in the sense Iida and Uraraka were. But—

A moment passed. Bakugo huffed. Then the explosive student shoved his hands in his pockets and stalked away— probably because Midoriya no longer appeared capable of answering him.

Midoriya looked entirely cowed. He was even hanging his head. Shoto thought, _That's what Bakugo wants from you, idiot._ He sighed again and moved to step out.

Except Midoriya moved, too. He took a step after Bakugo. "K-Kacchan—!"

"SHUT UP!" Bakugo hollered. The command stopped Midoriya in his tracks. "I really hate you, Deku... If you follow me, I _will_ kill you."

Shoto heard Uraraka hiss. It was... sort of cute, the way her hackles raised because Bakugo threatened her friend. After another moment, however, Shoto wondered if Uraraka would have the same reaction were Bakugo to threaten someone else. It was pretty obvious Uraraka had special feelings for Midoriya.

Bakugo rounded the corner to the left, where he finally disappeared.

Shoto blinked to clear his head of amusement and assessment regarding Uraraka — and even of relief that Bakugo had gone. He stared for a moment at the ground.

He could hear Midoriya sigh. And Shoto was surprised to feel the pang the sound sent through him, like a small zap straight to his heart.

He felt concerned. It was why he had stopped, rather than simply taking another route home. Facing down Bakugo wasn't a laughing matter. But Shoto also felt perplexed, and worried _beyond_ his general concern. He didn't know what to make of that.

Midoriya clearly _cared_. He cared enough about Bakugo that he would risk facing Bakugo's temper, even after a stressful day... and Shoto didn't understand why.

Recently, that lack of understanding had begun to bother him.

Uraraka's shriek of frustration startled him. "Aaaaah, that guy's temper is so terrible! Let's go home," Uraraka said. "Deku, you must be tired..."

Shoto looked up in time to see Uraraka start to walk ahead.

Midoriya laughed and scratched his head. To Shoto, the reaction both sounded and looked fake. Forced. "You should go on," Midoriya answered her.

Uraraka looked back. "But—"

"I forgot something in Recovery Girl's surgery room."

Uraraka stood still for a short time. Shoto wondered if she was about to offer to go back with Midoriya... or if she could see through the lie, and tell that what Midoriya really wanted was to be alone.

Finally, Uraraka smiled. "All right. I'll see you when school starts up again. Have a good break!"

"Yeah. You too."

Shoto noted the stiff shape of Midoriya's back when Midoriya turned to watch her leave. Midoriya seemed to relax a little once Uraraka strolled away, however. Uraraka went around the corner to the right, in the opposite direction Bakugo had gone.

Shoto rather liked Uraraka. And Iida, if he thought about it. At the least, both students had a good sense about social situations. They had a good read on Midoriya, especially. A lot better than Shoto did. Indeed, it seemed Midoriya made a lot of good-hearted and capable friends.

Then Shoto blinked. Why was he thinking that? It wasn't as if he wanted to cultivate the same skills Midoriya's friends had. There wasn't any need for him to become one of Midoriya's closer friends.

Shoto wanted to continue being the worthy rival he'd declared himself. Didn't he?

Midoriya raked back unkempt hair. Shoto shook his head and tensed again.

Now that Midoriya was alone, Shoto should stay here... and see where Midoriya went. Was the forgotten item in Recovery Girl's room the truth, or just an excuse to cover something else? All Might had his eye on Midoriya, after all. So maybe if Shoto stayed, and Midoriya went off somewhere, Shoto could follow—

He heard a sniff.

Midoriya hadn't moved from where he stood in the UA courtyard. His hands had dropped from his hair.

Shoto felt his heart rate pick up. Had Bakugo's insults this time...?

He stepped out from from behind the hedge when Midoriya swiped the back of one bandaged wrist across his eyes.

Midoriya had no plan; he'd just wanted to be alone, to cry. Was it because of Bakugo, or everything else the day had brought with it?

Midoriya turned around upon hearing Shoto's nearing steps; he sniffed again, and then forced another laugh. "A-ah, Todoroki. I-I—"

"He's always like that toward you, isn't he." The words were out of Shoto's mouth before he could think about why he said them.

Instinct said Midoriya's tears were reactions to Bakugo, yes. But if that were the case, why did Shoto risk making Midoriya's upset worse, by drawing attention back again to the loudmouth who'd finally left?

Shoto should just leave the matter alone. He took another step toward Midoriya. It wasn't any of his business what kind of relationship Bakugo and Midoriya had, or how Midoriya handled it. It wasn't his business what kind of classmates or friends they had been in the past, or why Bakugo picked on Midoriya so much. But if Shoto was honest with himself... he didn't understand it.

He wanted to.

Seeing Midoriya so affected made Shoto... well, irritated. Bakugo was a total ass. Why taunt Midoriya so much, outside of their class's competitions? What good could it possible bring anyone?

"His anger is _always_ disproportionate to the situation," Shoto said, "but when it comes to you, it's even worse. He goes so far as to be abrasive toward you personally — rather than obnoxious generally toward anyone in his vicinity, the way he normally is." Shoto stood in front of Midoriya, who wiped his eyes again and laughed.

"He's just a passionate person. I think he's always been like that, ever since we both were kids. He doesn't mean anything by it... even though it _is_ a little scary, I guess, despite how many times now I've seen it." The pain in Midoriya's eyes, however, said the excuse sounded hollow even to him.

"Are you an idiot?" Shoto replied.

Midoriya flinched. "I-I'm sorry! I don't know, maybe I am? I guess it looks that way to you, huh."

Shoto shouldn't have gotten in deeper... but he called Midoriya out yet again on his pitiful attempt to justify Bakugo's behavior. "You're not using good logic when it comes to assessing his verbal attacks. Passion toward a goal is fine, even if it's a bit angry. But passion toward people you like should be different. The definition isn't as violent." Shoto watched Midoriya for a reaction. "He shouldn't be cruel toward somebody he's friends with, if he really is."

"I'm not sure how much Bakugo actually likes me," Midoriya said, "or whether we really still count as friends."

Shoto frowned. "Exactly. Yes." He was glad Midoriya admitted it. It meant he wasn't completely clueless. Shoto got the feeling still, however, that Midoriya didn't quite _get_ it.

"You shouldn't waste your energy on him. Then you'll only become as misguided as he is," Shoto said, trying to clarify.

"You're probably right." Midoriya avoided locking their gazes. "People should be warmer toward each other, right? Although, I don't know how you say things like that... when you're mostly very cold, Todoroki."

Shoto considered that for a time. An awkward, drawn out silence passed, in which Midoriya appeared to end up almost twice as nervous as before.

Midoriya started to wave his hands again and stammer. "S-Sorry, it was a sort of pun? I'm really tired, so I just—"

"I don't know how cold I'll stay from now on," Shoto said, cutting Midoriya off.

Of course this was where the conversation would go — back in the direction of the fight they'd had... and what Shoto had realized thanks to it. He should have expected that. Was he prepared to talk about his own thoughts?

If he wasn't, he shouldn't have interfered here.

When Midoriya stopped flailing and gazed at him, Shoto looked aside this time instead. "You've made me consider whether I should use my other side more," he uttered. "It's worth thinking about, at least. So I've decided I'll do that."

His words seemed to change the mood.

Midoriya dropped his eyes to the ground as well, despite that Shoto finally looked back. "I need to apologize," Midoriya said. "I did a stupid thing to you. I pushed you too far on that stage, thinking I could help you out. But I can't even help myself." The smile on his face appeared bitter. Midoriya clutched one of his bandaged hands, too. "Kacchan is right when he says all those things. I only—"

"No, he isn't right."

Midoriya flinched again. Shoto hated when he did that. For a person who was so confident and powerful in a fight—

"Look at me," Shoto ordered.

He very nearly sighed again. Bakugo wasn't even around now, but somehow his presence still seemed like it infected Midoriya's mind. Like it subtracted from the poignancy of what Shoto was trying to convey just then.

Midoriya raised his eyes.

"Don't listen to that guy when he puts you down. Even All Might is interested in you," Shoto said.

Then Shoto ran out of good words. He'd never been talented at giving rousing speeches to people to boost their confidence.

Midoriya stared at him. Shoto almost flushed at that. Did he sound silly? Maybe insincere? Perhaps he shouldn't have bothered with awkward words of comfort in this case. It wasn't as if Midoriya had asked to be comforted. Rivals, worthy opponents, friends... Should Shoto even be here like this, when both of them were fighting to become the school's number one?

They couldn't both win.

It was just that... Midoriya made something tender want to come out inside him — thanks likely to the way his wake-up call during their match had humbled him. Shoto was grateful to this boy. _That_ was it. And gratitude made him want to treat Midoriya more softly than he had before.

"Thank you for being so concerned," said Midoriya, "but—"

Shoto twitched. He knew Midoriya was about to make another excuse on Bakugo's behalf. It made him itch inside. He wanted to yell. Why couldn't Midoriya understand?

But Shoto controlled himself. If he lost his temper, he'd be no better than Bakugo. God, but Midoriya could have such a hard head...

Shoto used his concern instead. "Does it hurt?" His question cut Midoriya's further excuses for Bakugo short.

Shoto didn't want to hurt Midoriya like Bakugo did. He'd injured Midoriya in the ring... but now he could make up for it.

 _That_ was more like a Hero, wasn't it?

Midoriya looked down at the hand he still clutched, the one Shoto stood gazing at. "Yeah, it does hurt," Midoriya murmured, looking almost surprised that he admitted it. "And that startled me into realization, I guess. Recovery Girl helped as much as she could, but I'll have to heal myself from here on out. I'm not used to the pain... but I'll either have to get used to it now, or learn how not to do this in a fight like ours again."

"Let me help out with the pain," Shoto said.

Then he looked away and bit his lip. Speaking without thinking again.

"H- _huh?_ " Midoriya asked him.

Shoto didn't answer right away. He didn't know how to, right after that. He wasn't really going to do what he was thinking about, was he? Not for Midoriya, of all people. Even if Shoto had decided to be kind to Midoriya, never cruel...

Midoriya was stronger than he looked. He probably didn't need the help, or wouldn't be affected much by it. So giving the offer was patronizing, and an insult. Probably.

"Todoroki?" Midoriya asked.

But nothing changed the fact that Midoriya had destroyed all of his fingers because he'd been fighting Shoto. It was Shoto's fault — at least in part — that Midoriya now felt pain like this.

Shoto wanted to offer something back to replace what he'd made Midoriya lose.

He put his book bag on the ground. "If your brain already hurts from taking Bakugo's thuggish insults, then there's no reason to let your injuries throb all the way home, too. Give me that hand you're holding," Shoto said.

As Midoriya looked at him, flushing, Shoto held out his own hand — his right one.

He watched Midoriya hesitate. Then, like an uncertain maiden — ah, but why was Shoto thinking that? — Midoriya put his own book bag down as well, and rested his wrapped fingers on Shoto's open palm lightly.

Shoto shut his eyes and took a breath. Then, incrementally and carefully, he formed crystals of ice around Midoriya's bandaged appendages using his touch.

Midoriya jumped. "Y-you're freezing—?"

Shoto tossed his hair out of his face. "It's like temperature therapy. The cold will take down the swelling, and numb a little of the pain. Just hold still for a few seconds."

"Oh. Right," Midoriya said. He looked down at his icing fingers then, as if in wonderment. "You're right. The cold makes it feel better. I never know when I should use heat versus cold... or try both. H-how long do I have to—"

"Not long. It's too bitterly cold to keep it frozen for more than a couple minutes. As long as I'm here, then you'll know at what point it needs to stop, so you don't get frostbite instead." Then Shoto cleared his throat. He had run out of things to say again.

Midoriya stared at his hand, and for a minute or so, they didn't look at each other. They just listened to the birds chirp. Then sun was beginning to set.

It felt like eons were passing. Shoto felt fidgety, but he didn't show it.

Then Midoriya's iced hand twitched.

"Just another moment, Midoriya. This still works faster than the hot and cold lotion they put on sore muscles and joints in doctor's offices."

Midoriya murmured back. "You know a lot about relieving pain."

"I've been in lots of fights," Shoto told him. "I've had to learn how to use my Quirk to help people, not just hurt them." But Shoto stopped talking after that. Midoriya was looking off over the courtyard again — in the direction Bakugo had gone.

Shoto tried not to tighten, seeing that. But somehow, he felt disappointed. Cheated. Shoto could freeze Midoriya's fingers, in the hopes it might take away physical pain. But whatever Midoriya _felt—_

Shoto couldn't touch it, and that irked him.

Annoyed, he closed the gap between them and lifted Midoriya's chilled fingers to his lips. Midoriya started. "O-oh—"

 _I want him to pay attention to me,_ Shoto realized, holding Midoriya's hand. It was a selfish, stupid thought, but it pricked at him nonetheless.

And as if the intensity of it showed in his eyes, Midoriya caught his breath. He trembled when Shoto held his gaze.

Carefully, Shoto placed Midoriya's fingers up against his parted lips. Then Shoto exhaled over them. In a puff of steam, the ice started to melt. Water dripped to the paving stones.

Before Shoto could breath out again, he faltered.

Now Midoriya's bandages were wet. He... he hadn't thought of that. How stupid of him. Was he so distracted?

"What's wrong?"

" _Tch_... Nothing," Shoto said. He exhaled over Midoriya's slender, bound fingers again. He would just have to fix it, in addition to easing Midoriya's pain.

"The heat..."

Shoto didn't speak; he just concentrated. He hoped the bandages dried out. He also hoped he didn't dry out any ointments that might have been applied beneath. He hoped he didn't scald Midoriya's skin. Stupid, to try doing this. His breath puffed out in hot clouds that he tried his best to regulate.

"The heat..." Midoriya said again. He shuddered. "It's good, too." Shoto looked up. Something in him fluttered. "I wasn't wrong. It's the other half of you... and it's good to feel you use it, Todoroki."

A hitch interrupted Shoto's breath. Why did Midoriya say it with so much satisfaction?

Shoto let go of Midoriya's hand.

Midoriya took the hand back and began to examine it. Shoto made sure to breath a few normal breaths, to regulate his temperature back to its normal place. His lips burned with the force of the heat he'd used; he swiped his knuckles against them as if he could rub away the sting.

His lips would be chapped now, and red or swollen. Shoto had wanted so badly to help Midoriya that he had inconvenienced himself. He wondered if Endeavor would call him foolish or weak for that. Was helping someone else when it wasn't even a combat situation really worth it?

Except now Midoriya was flexing his hand, and his face had the first genuine smile on it that Shoto had seen yet that afternoon.

Yes. He thought that made it somewhat worth it.

"Wow. It feels much better now. You're pretty powerful even in regular situations, aren't you?"

Shoto didn't say anything. He stood with his hands at his sides, merely looking at the boy who so threw him into confusion... and made him want to try things he wouldn't normally bother to try.

"Todoroki... you're not mad about today, are you?" Midoriya next asked him.

Shoto picked up his book bag again. He passed Midoriya swiftly. "I'm not. I'm grateful for what you said out there. You weren't wrong to tell me to come at you with everything I had. I said already, didn't I? The point you brought up is worth thinking about."

"Todoroki..."

"Get better, Midoriya." Shoto didn't want to stay and talk. He worried he might try something stupid again. When Midoriya's eyes lit up like Shoto had just seen, and he seemed relaxed... it made Shoto feel relaxed, too. Shoto wasn't used to being sent off guard so easily.

Shoto heard Midoriya hesitate behind him. He hitched his backpack up further.

Then Midoriya replied, "Yeah."

It almost made Shoto smile. He could picture the way Midoriya was probably nodding his head.

"You have a good break," Midoriya called.

"Yeah."

Shoto walked out the school gate and turned left, leaving Midoriya behind. Something had definitely happened to him to change him today, after their fight. Shoto breathed out and shook his head.

Then his foot scuffed, as he realized someone lounged against the high wall, watching him.

Bakugo. He hadn't left. In fact, he'd probably listened to every word Shoto and Midoriya had said. Shoto felt all his muscles tense.

"The fuck do you think you're doing," Bakugo growled, "messing with Deku, Half-and-Half?" Shoto was certain Bakugo would have yelled... if he wasn't concerned that 'Deku' might be able to overhear him.

Shoto considered walking on. He considered ignoring Bakugo again, the way he had in the waiting room when Bakugo had thundered in. After all, he had no reason to reply to a question to he had no clear answer to anyway.

Then again, if he didn't answer, Bakugo might just make something explode.

After a long moment in which Shoto thought, and Bakugo appeared to be slowly simmering into rage, Shoto decided to answer. "You're the one who messes with him."

"Huh?! What the hell did you say?" Bakugo's hand flew to Shoto's collar.

Shoto gripped Bakugo's wrist, but otherwise he didn't move. He looked into Bakugo's bloodshot eyes.

What _was_ it that so unhinged this person? What about Midoriya triggered these reactions? Was it that—

Bakugo snarled. He wasn't finished yet. Of course.

"After you put out your flames and robbed me of the victory you knew I wanted, _how dare you—"_

"Midoriya's not your punching bag." Shoto tightened his defensive grip. He didn't care that he interrupted. "And it makes you look pathetic to bully him, Bakugo. It doesn't make you look a bit like a Hero."

"What in the fuck do you know?!" Shoto turned his head aside, when spittle flew from Bakugo's curled lips. "Deku's _lied_ to me, he's mocked me, he's—"

"He's only tried to be your friend."

Bakugo faltered.

In that moment, Shoto employed ice to freeze Bakugo's hand. He stepped out of Bakugo's grip.

He started to walk away to Bakugo's infuriated hiss. " _The fuck do you know about what's between us?!_ Stay out of it, Todoroki! The only one who has the right to do anything about that guy's crybaby existence—"

"Is me," Shoto said, icily.

Then Shoto hesitated. There he went, saying something even he himself hadn't expected, yet again. But in that moment, Shoto knew it was true. He knew it was what he wanted.

 _He_ wanted to witness and affect what Midoriya did... and maybe even protect him. Because perhaps if Shoto did those things... then he'd learn how to beat Midoriya and eventually win.

A worthy opponent should be learned from, defended, and respected. Bakugo didn't have any respect — and that made Shoto the better man for rivalry with Midoriya. And maybe even for friendship, if people could be friends and rivals at once.

Shoto glanced back. Bakugo's eyes bulged out of his head, as he began to understand the weight of what Shoto had said.

Shoto shrugged and spoke again. "I'm going to fix the pain people like you have put him in. I want to see Midoriya's full passion and skill realized... so that I can defeat him and be number one."

Bakugo frothed at the mouth, seemingly failing to come up with a satisfactory string of swears.

Shoto didn't like talking badly to people, just to put them in their place. In fact, a part of Shoto felt sorry for Bakugo, under all the layers of his annoyance. He didn't know Bakugo's background; maybe there was a reason Bakugo could only manage to be cruel toward Midoriya, despite obviously maintaining some interest in the green-haired boy. And Shoto understood the frustration Bakugo felt in terms of the match Bakugo had just 'won'... as well as his part in _causing_ that frustration. Shoto felt guilty; he knew he would have hated it had somebody he wanted to beat gone easy on _him_ , or just lost on purpose.

Bakugo was a worthy opponent, too, in the end. But the way he treated his childhood friend made him _less_ worthy of an opponent — and certainly less of a human being — than Midoriya was. Shoto's hand made a fist. For Midoriya's sake, he couldn't just let Bakugo have dominance over whatever he wanted.

"Enjoy that you won today," Shoto said. "Because after this, you'll be in third place." He moved to walk away at last.

"WhhhhHHHAAAAAAAAATTT?! YOU FUCKER. DIE!"

An explosion sounded. Shoto moved his head an inch to the left to avoid the blaze of it.

"K-Kacchan?" Shoto heard distinctly, from back in the school courtyard.

Shoto sighed. Midoriya hadn't left to go home. He must have still been standing there, contemplating what had occurred.

But when Shoto turned around, Bakugo had fled. He'd used his explosion to propel himself into the street — and now he was retreating. From Shoto, or from Midoriya's call?

Midoriya ran out of the courtyard. He looked around and around him.

Before he could notice Shoto again, Shoto turned another corner. He wasn't certain what he'd gotten into, butting his nose into all this. Whatever it was, it was right between Midoriya and Bakugo — and that seemed a dangerous position to put himself in.

And yet as Shoto walked away, he didn't feel bad about what he had done. Midoriya was worth getting more involved with.

Shoto could only hope that doing so would be worth Bakugo's wanting _him_ dead as well.


	2. At The Hospital, After Hosu

Minutes passed before Shoto wondered whether he ought to interrupt Midoriya's thoughts. Anybody else, Shoto suspected, would have commented on the trickle of mutters coming from Midoriya ages ago. They might even insist Midoriya keep his inner monologuing... well, _inner_. And yet Shoto continued not to interrupt.

He only watched — and openly. Midoriya was so wrapped up that Shoto didn't even have to pretend to look somewhere else, and then watch out of the corner of his eye. Shoto had caught himself doing that, lately...

In any case, he didn't mind Midoriya acting like this. The hospital room where they stayed was quiet and calm, thus lending itself to an atmosphere perfect for concentration. Shoto didn't want to disturb Midoriya _or_ the atmosphere at all.

If he was being frank with himself, he was interested to see how long Midoriya could keep up his thoughts — without pausing for breath, or losing his own chain of logic. Would Midoriya realize that he sat muttering out loud, eventually? What then? Would he become self-conscious? Dissolve into apologies? And how come Shoto was interested to know?

Shoto looked out the window, keeping his hands loose on his lap. Soon it would be lunch, and the nurses would come check on them. Maybe Shoto would get sent home this time.

Iida had already left, but Shoto wondered if that didn't have more to do with Iida's family matters. As for Shoto's own family, and Endeavor... Endeavor could call Shoto home for 'family matters,' too, if he wanted. He hadn't — even though Shoto was almost healed.

Was Shoto's father busy still with all the battle aftermath? Or was he upset that Shoto had meddled in something only Pro Heroes should have?

Not that it mattered. Shoto didn't give a damn what that man thought.

If Shoto did indeed get discharged this afternoon, though... would he leave immediately, or would he stay longer with Midoriya?

"...and in any case, so, so very fast that the speed might in some cases turn out to be way more like a detriment—"

"For who?" Shoto decided that if he wasn't going to interrupt Midoriya out of a thing like amusement or annoyance, he could at least interrupt on account that he might learn something — if he bothered to ask.

Midoriya jumped. He almost dropped the pencil in his hand.

Shoto looked across the beds at the notebook still open on Midoriya's lap. "Are you taking notes on the Pros that came to help us in Hosu?"

Midoriya scratched his head, and then offered a smile. "Y-Yeah. A lot of them were really cool... but against Hero Killer Stain, well..."

"It was lucky we were there and we could act." Shoto frowned, recalling it again. "Despite what the official stance of the police is," he added.

Midoriya exhaled. "Yes. It's a little unnerving, actually, doing my comparisons and finding out how uneven a match some of it would have been, if we had let the Pros take care of it. I guess even Pro Heroes have weaknesses they can't get around." Midoriya trailed off again, looking down like he was thinking. This time the thoughts stayed in his head. He picked up his pencil again.

Shoto tried not to watch the way Midoriya prodded at his lip with said pencil. He looked back out the window. "Just how long have you been keeping notebooks like that?" He wanted to know, too, _Where do you even store them all?_ But Shoto didn't want to sound like he became too personal.

"I guess I've been keeping them for almost for as long as I could write," Midoriya said to him. Then Shoto felt himself stared at — in little, self-conscious spurts, like Midoriya almost couldn't bring himself to look at him.

Shoto hadn't meant to make Midoriya feel analyzed or watched. He half wished Midoriya would go back to muttering in peaceful bliss.

The last thing Shoto wanted was for Midoriya to feel uncomfortable. He knew Midoriya saw him as a rival... but neither of them needed the tension that came alongside a rivalry now. The hospital was for recovery time.

"Sorry," Shoto uttered, looking down. "I can just let you work. Go on."

There wasn't anything for the two of them to talk about, anyway. Things were at rest now regarding Iida. They'd already addressed how to handle questions at school, if anyone asked about Stain. They'd already exchanged comments about how their fight had gone, down to details. Midoriya had even thanked Shoto for the flame-and-ice backup he'd provided.

There was nothing else they could discuss. So Shoto wasn't sure why he felt the need to pry into small things, versus leaving Midoriya in his own world. Or was Shoto's urge to learn more and more about every aspect of Midoriya's life what 'getting to know' someone was meant to feel like?

Shoto twitched. Was it okay to get to know someone he wanted to beat? Collecting data about Quirks and other strengths and weaknesses was fine, but Shoto had caught himself once wondering what Midoriya liked to wear, and where he liked to go when he wasn't at school. It felt more like wanting to learn the preferences and habits of a friend.

And they still weren't exactly friends.

"You've just been staring out the window the whole time I was muttering, huh."

Shoto dared a smile and shrugged. "I'm good at tuning people out." He almost said he had a lot of siblings, and that some of them could become awfully loud. But that would have been more small talk. And since Shoto still didn't know why he was driven to make such small talk... he figured it would be better not to open his mouth at all.

The _last_ time Shoto had spoken without thinking, he'd inadvertently provided Bakugo with reason to hate him.

Yes, definitely Shoto needed to watch his mouth, if the situation involved Midoriya.

"Aha ha..." Midoriya clapped his notebook closed, placing it and his pencil back beside the bed. Then he frowned down at his bedsheets. "I'm glad you didn't tune _me_ out."

Shoto had been watching Midoriya in the window reflection, but now he turned around, surprised. "You mean when you sent your location out?"

Midoriya nodded, his face tense.

"I don't know why I answered," Shoto said. "Why I came to you so quickly, under the circumstances."

Then Shoto closed his mouth again. Why give that information out, if Midoriya hadn't asked?

Both of them fell silent. Midoriya stared at Shoto. Shoto wondered if he'd sounded insensitive or blasé, and thus made Midoriya question his morals. Shoto's statements clearly hadn't been a response Midoriya had expected.

But it was the truth. Shoto couldn't remember _why_ exactly he'd turned away — away from his father — instantly, to answer Midoriya's message for help.

It could have been because he didn't care if he defied Endeavor. Even though Shoto had decided to learn what he could from the world's number two best Hero, that didn't mean his emotions of resentment toward his father didn't sometimes get the better of him... and make him act a bit petty. Maybe Shoto had turned and left because he'd determined the meaning of Midoriya's message instantly, and understood he'd be the best student for backup. Maybe Shoto had gone because regardless of whether he was closest to Midoriya's location, he had known he would still need to answer the call — because that was what real Heroes did, didn't they? They helped people who asked for it. They saved people in trouble. Especially if those in trouble were classmates — who needed to live, to become Heroes themselves.

But part of Shoto wasn't sure he hadn't acted so quickly simply because the message came from Midoriya. No one else.

Had Shoto been terrified of disaster? Had he worried he'd lose something, if he didn't rush to Midoriya's aid? And if that something had been Midoriya... and _that_ was what had made Shoto so react... what did that mean? Had Shoto now gone mad?

Midoriya said, "Acting in the heat of the moment. You know, someone told me once that when our bodies move on their own in situations like that, it means we can become Heroes."

Shoto sat looking at his hands. His body had moved on its own... and moved like a magnet toward Midoriya.

His words to Bakugo hadn't been lies; Shoto wanted to look after Midoriya, now. But abandoning his own rescue mission with Endeavor to do so? Shoto had thought he would be more _practical_ about preserving Midoriya for the eventual sake of beating him.

"You know, Todoroki... you're cool."

"I know," was all Shoto said. And then he raised his hand that froze things, as if to show that it was literal.

Midoriya sat still a moment. Then he laughed, finding the pun once he thought about what he had said — in terms of English translations instead. He said again, "I didn't know you had a sense of humor. But I didn't mean 'cool' like your ice." This time he said 'cool' in English, instead of using _kakkoi._

"What did you mean?" Shoto teased him.

He liked it when Midoriya smirked. "If that's the way you want to be... do you want me to call you 'hot' instead?"

A long, silent moment passed. Shoto flushed along his cheekbones — but not because he wished to be literal about temperature words again.

Midoriya seemed to realize what he'd said. When he saw Shoto go still, however, he flailed. "Th-that is—!"

Shoto forced himself to take a breath. He looked out the window again. Any time now, the nurses would come in. He wouldn't have to over-analyze what—

"It's just, I'm interested!" More flailing.

"Midoriya..." Shoto said.

He wished Midoriya would stop. Certainly, _certainly_ what Shoto was thinking wasn't what Midoriya meant. Midoriya was probably picking on Shoto's occasional bursts of hot temper.

"I'm just _interested_ in your double sort of Quirk, and there's—" Midoriya scooped his notebook up and opened it up yet again. Shoto turned back around from the window. "There are things I've wanted to ask you about it, ever since you used your ice and then your breath to help my hand."

Shoto stared for a long minute. So... Midoriya wanted to know more things about Shoto, too? But they were things that made more sense, like details about Quirks. Like specs.

It was _strange_ that Shoto wanted to know all the small things, wasn't it. Like whether Midoriya's least favorite color might be green, thanks to his name or his hair already being overkill — or whether Midoriya really _liked_ green, because he had chosen it for his Hero costume. It was strange, wasn't it, that Shoto almost wanted to tell Midoriya in detail about visiting his mother, and everything he'd said to her. Every little thing he'd felt, seeing her again for the first time in years — because Midoriya had given him the push he needed.

Shoto wondered if there was something wrong with him.

"Is it okay?" Midoriya asked him. "We can stop when they come in with lunch."

Shoto whispered, "It's okay. I can do it if it's for you."

Indeed, something was wrong with him. Shoto was drawn toward Midoriya too much. If Shoto let himself fall too far, too fast into his interest... then anything he did to help Midoriya recover from Bakugo's attitude and mistreatment would only make Shoto question his _own_ motives in it. Question whether he was selfish.

Was he really looking out for Midoriya due to a feeling of respect, of wanting to preserve a worthy rival? Or was Shoto doing it for something else? He couldn't protect Midoriya simply for his own benefit, simply because he wanted to be friends, or... or something else. Shoto stiffened.

That wasn't what a Hero did.

"That's great! Okay, first I wanted to ask—"

"And I think, after all..." Shoto said, "I came running just because it was for you, too." Then Shoto made sure to find his bedsheets fascinating, as Midoriya stilled again. But... but Shoto needed to say this out loud, to make sense of what pricked at him. "A while ago, I had a thought. It was that I wanted to protect you. I wanted it because Bakugo—"

"Kacchan?" Midoriya said. His voice had risen high in pitch.

Shoto flushed again. Then he fell silent. Had he already forgotten whatever bond Midoriya and Bakugo had? Of _course_ if he mentioned Bakugo's name, Midoriya would jump like that, distracted.

Shoto should stop before he got started. There was no point in revealing his own thoughts, or his desires to protect and get closer to Midoriya. Certainly, Midoriya would misunderstand the reasons for Shoto's concern — even if Midoriya was too polite to say anything back. But he might think Shoto had stepped out of place, or butted in unnecessarily—

"I see. You were worried that time, about the problems between me and him." It was Midoriya's turn to look at the bedsheets upon his own bed. "Because we just can't get along."

"It isn't your fault," Shoto said. "You try to get along with him. He doesn't do the same for you."

"I don't try," Midoriya said. "At least, not as much as I used to. Not as much as I could be, or should be trying. It's... it's hard to keep trying sometimes, when a person you care about always only yells at you." Midoriya glanced up at Shoto, then back down. He said, "It's kind of pathetic of me to fail so hard at such a long relationship, right?"

 _A person you care about. Such a long relationship._ Shoto felt his body relax, as his decision was suddenly made for him.

So that was how it was, was it? Midoriya knew damn well that Bakugo was cruel. An ass. But Midoriya couldn't help himself from wearing out the sharp edge of his kindness upon Bakugo nonetheless. That was just the kind of person Midoriya was. Shoto should have known that.

If only Shoto hadn't also been cut — and opened, and weakened — by the sharp edge of Midoriya's unique kindness.

"It's not pathetic," Shoto said. "It's just hard, probably, like you said. It's a challenge." Shoto tried to smile. He wondered if it looked genuine. "The only thing I'm questioning is that you sound like you've just given up." Shoto watched Midoriya tense. "You shouldn't give up, Midoriya. Not if there's something you want. Heroes don't, so why should you?"

Midoriya looked at his hands... and then he put away his notebook. "You're right," he said. "You're right. I— thanks."

"Any time," Shoto told him.

The nurses came on schedule, to bring lunch. After Shoto and Midoriya ate in contemplative silence... Shoto asked permission to be discharged, and when the permission was granted him... he left.


	3. The Result Of Final Exams

**Author Note:** _I swear this is a love fic for Todoroki and Midoriya, not Bakugo and Midoriya. Please put up with Bakugo's involvement in this chapter, if you can. For Midoriya... it's kind of complex. I also like to torture Todoroki a little, I guess?_

* * *

After the final exams were over, and Shoto was free from his match with Yaoyorozu against Mr. Aizawa, Shoto threw the door into Recovery Girl's office open.

He started to speak before he checked to see whether anyone might be there trying to rest. "Recovery Girl! Is Midoriya—" He stopped.

Recovery Girl glared at him, one finger in a 'hush' sign against her lips.

Shoto nodded that he understood. He'd already glanced over the short woman's head toward the two twin beds most visible to him. In one lied Midoriya, seemingly asleep... and in the other sprawled Bakugo. Both were fresh out of their own brutal final exam... and much the worse for wear, it appeared.

Shoto tried not to bite his lip. Midoriya had seemed all right, when he'd darted with Bakugo through the finish gate. Had all that been just a brave face in the end?

"Good grief, good grief," Recovery Girl said. "This young man Midoriya has so many friends. There was already the leg engine boy with glasses and the short girl without gravity who came to check on him... but he'll be sleeping a while, now that I've finished treating him. All Might did a number on him."

Shoto must have cast her an apologetic and yet desperate look, because next, Recovery Girl sighed. She told him, "If you insist on time with him, then take a few minutes, young man. If he wakes up and cringes, I won't be far — only behind this door. Please holler if you need assistance."

"Yes." Shoto bowed as she exited. "Thank you. Thank you very much." When the door closed, Shoto was alone, with only the two occupants lying in bed.

He breathed and put his book bag down. If Midoriya wasn't even awake... then he didn't need to be here, did he? And yet, there were things Shoto wanted to say.

Maybe it would be all right to utter them softly, while Midoriya was asleep. It might save him embarrassment, at least.

He started to walk to the far side of Midoriya's bed. Then he stopped. He retraced his steps.

Shoto went in between the two twin beds instead. Instinct told him he should do it. All observation said Bakugo was asleep too, but just in case... Shoto thought perhaps he should stand between them, like a barrier. Protecting Midoriya was what he wanted.

Once he was standing where he wished, Shoto faced Midoriya's bedside. He opened his mouth to talk.

At the last second, Shoto stopped himself. He... he wanted to move again.

Shoto swallowed. He was being ridiculous. Still, he backed out and around Midoriya's bed once more, so that he wasn't in between. Who was he, inserting himself in a place he hadn't been invited to? Midoriya liked Bakugo enough to keep defending him; he wouldn't like it if Shoto seemed not to respect his viewpoint, or the entire explosive relationship. Right?

Shoto preferred, after all, to be on the side of Midoriya's bed where he _didn't_ have to worry about Bakugo... or Midoriya's possible disapproval. Shoto would stand where he could pretend his attention on Midoriya did not come with the paranoia of Bakugo always somewhere at his back, watching, hating... while Midoriya remained oblivious of Bakugo's shortcomings. Yes.

Besides, Shoto told himself. There were things he wanted to tell Midoriya without holding back out of fear that he was only an 'extra.' If he stood on the open side of Midoriya's bed to talk, then maybe Shoto could convince himself that he wasn't an intruder in here.

But Shoto hesitated another instant, once free of the trap of being caught between childhood friends.

Ah. No.

Shoto changed his mind, yet again.

Despite that he'd already moved from one side of the bed to the other, Shoto took a moment to do it once more. He put himself back in between the two patients — even though he didn't like being there. Even though he hated being forced to acknowledge the way he stood out whenever he was put near them. Like he didn't belong. And yet...

And yet, in between them was where he should be, Shoto decided — more strongly, this time. If the test against All Might was any indication, then Bakugo couldn't be trusted to handle Midoriya with fairness of any sort. Shoto would much rather make himself the barrier between them, no matter the risk. He wanted to shield Midoriya from more unnecessary hurt.

"What the hell... are you doing... weirdo?" asked a weak voice from the bed behind him.

Shoto turned, breathing in slowly. Bakugo had one eye cracked open, watching him.

"You're awake."

"That's obvious. Rrgh... _fuck_ , but that bastard All Might made it hurt..."

Shoto couldn't say he felt sympathy for Bakugo's pains. A better word for what he felt might be 'pity,' if even that.

Shoto mostly felt selfish annoyance right now. Why couldn't Bakugo have stayed passed out?

As if Bakugo could sense Shoto's tension, he snorted half a laugh... then winced. His words seared Shoto nonetheless. "Trying to steal a moment with Deku? Useless. I hope that guy is dead." There was a pause, in which Bakugo wheezed. Then he asked, "How did I get here?"

Shoto scanned Bakugo's body, determining not to answer the question. Bakugo had ordered Midoriya to escape the final exam by himself, so they could pass in that fashion... but Midoriya had gone back to carry Bakugo's limp body out with him.

If Bakugo learned that right now, Shoto was sure that despite injuries, Bakugo would make Recovery Girl's room explode.

"If you're not gonna fucking talk..." Bakugo coughed and flinched again. "Then get the hell out of my face. Did you come to gloat, Todoroki? Huh?!"

Shoto dared to turn his back on Bakugo, facing Midoriya again. "I came to congratulate Midoriya — and tell him that if he needs anything, I'm happy to handle it for him while he's still recovering." Shoto would have to say his piece with Bakugo listening, then.

Midoriya's eyelids looked like they flickered. But they didn't move after that, or open.

"Why?" Bakugo barked a laugh. "He's a fucking shitty nerd that wasn't good for ANYTHING—"

"His actions against All Might were amazing. I can't imagine going up against a Hero you admire, to the degree Midoriya admires him." Shoto followed the angles and curves on Midoriya's sleeping face with his vision. "Midoriya didn't give up, even after you struck at him. Even after you chipped away at all his mental energy. And once the win was on the line, even against his favorite Hero, Midoriya didn't hold back. There's more to him than it seems, and I'm staggered by what he is capable of." Shoto hoped Midoriya could hear him, somewhere inside his slumbering brain.

"Ahh?! Fuck... you..." Bakugo rolled over in bed, as if he would reach out to throttle Shoto. Shoto stepped out of the way— right as Bakugo's body weight forced his arm to give out under him. Bakugo collapsed back onto the bed. "Leave us the hell alone, won't you?"

Shoto dropped his eyes at that. _Us._

The word echoed inside his head. Even though Bakugo claimed to hate Midoriya, and even though he gave a hundred death threats... in the end, it was still 'us.'

It made Shoto finally want to ask the question that had stirred in his head for some time. A question he much rather would have asked Midoriya — carefully and privately. Only now, Shoto realized, it might be _better_ to ask the truth from Bakugo. It might be better to hear everything straight — bluntly, and without avoidance.

That way, if the answer hurt, it might hurt _less_ coming from someone Shoto wasn't infatuated with.

Shoto turned. "What is Midoriya to you?"

The situation seemed like it could be a wide manner of things. Hatred. Abuse. Some strange mutual use or benefit. And yet so many times, Midoriya had expressed that he thought Bakugo was cool. That he looked up to Bakugo. Somewhere in there, there was respect.

Was there admiration mixed in somewhere as well? Worship? What did Bakugo feel back, if anything under that violent veneer? Had Midoriya meant it at the beginning of the school year, when he'd told Bakugo that he would do his best to beat him _because he admired him?_

Did Midoriya think of Bakugo like Shoto thought of Midoriya?

"What is your relationship, that you always treat him like this?"

Bakugo snorted. A long moment passed. Shoto wasn't certain he would get any truth or answer.

To Shoto's surprise after that, however, Bakugo grunted. One curt word. "Complicated."

Shoto looked away. One of his hands curled in a fist, and then loosened. _Complicated._ "In what sense?" He wouldn't give up. He would press.

Bakugo rolled onto his back. "None of your _god damned business_ , Half-and-Half — so keep your nose out of it, or I'll smash it into your face and just kill you. I want to kick your ass, don't you get it? But don't give me a reason to too soon, or no one will see me do it."

Shoto didn't let the threat bother him. Bakugo could hardly move in that twin bed. Shoto wanted to wake up Midoriya. He wanted more confirmation, wanted to know what exactly was so complicated that Midoriya would put up with this. He wanted answers that didn't make his chest tight — and his body hot, because he was forgetting not to react with his heat in his smoldering mess of confusion.

Shoto exhaled, and steam came out.

"Getting worked up?" Bakugo said. He sounded disinterested. "Get as jealous as you want, asshole... and keep on talking tough to me. But Deku's MY ISSUE — got that?"

"You're going to break him," Shoto said. Midoriya in no way deserved that.

What Bakugo said startled him. "Your mistake is that you think he's so easily broken. If you keep on thinking that, then you'll never get him the way I do, douchebag."

Shoto closed his eyes and breathed. Then, slowly, he considered that. Was he underestimating Midoriya, even now? Would Midoriya hate that Shoto spoke in his defense, without permission, especially if it wasn't necessary? Was Shoto wrong in thinking Midoriya should be defended?

He didn't understand Bakugo's stance, either. "If you think he's so strong, so worthy of notice, then why do you always call him useless? Why did you give him such a cruel nickname—"

"WHY IN THE HELL DO YOU THINK I'M SO INTENT ON CRUSHING HIM, YOU FOOL?! IT'S _BECAUSE_ HE'S STRONG NOW. DON'T YOU GET IT?!"

The door opened. Out came Recovery Girl.

"BEFORE," Bakugo hollered, "I JUST THOUGHT HE WAS A SHITTY NERD, BUT NOW HE'S SO POWERFUL, THE PIECE OF CRAP, AND I HAVE TO KILL HIM! IT'S COMPLICATED, I SAID. SO TAKE YOUR LOVE-SICK ASS OUT OF MY SIGHT AND DON'T GET IN MY WAY AG—" A set of stretchy lips zipped past and landed upon Bakugo's forehead.

Shoto heard an affection sound. "Chuuuuuuu~!"

Recovery Girl's kiss seemed to sap Bakugo of all his strength. That, or it soothed him... and he passed out again.

"A tough patient, this one," Recovery Girl said. She patted the top of Bakugo's blond head. "His temper heats up so much that he gets feverish when he yells like that, which means I can 'recover' him with my Quirk. But of course, it uses up his strength. And when he already has so little left? Well." Recovery Girl mimed sleeping. "Nightly-night for this young man. I'll have to ask you to go now, too. Regardless of what I can do, it's too much for these boys to take." She pointed at Midoriya as well — who stirred and drew together his eyebrows in his sleep. Was he in pain?

Shoto swallowed again. "Right." But he took one more step toward Midoriya's bed. He almost reached out his hand — to brush back Midoriya's hair. But then he recalled himself. "Yes."

Shoto kept his hands at his sides. He retreated, picking up his book bag.

* * *

The next morning, before classes started, Shoto trotted his way back to Recovery Girl's office.

If Midoriya was awake, then Midoriya would want to attend class. If he wanted to go to class, then Shoto wanted to escort him there. Doing so might look... well, odd. Someone like Iida — the class representative, and one of Midoriya's much closer friends — might have been the better person for Midoriya's escort. Even more probably, Midoriya didn't _need_ help getting to class.

But Shoto wanted to see him, and tell him congratulations for facing All Might — this time, while Midoriya was conscious. Shoto wanted to talk to Midoriya and get to know him some more. If they could walk together to homeroom, then they'd be alone, and perhaps Shoto could ask—

"Kacchan!"

Shoto's feet slowed in the hall. The call had come from just around the corner. Shoto pulled up to a stop... and then heard the voice that belonged to Bakugo.

"What the HELL are you stopping me for, Deku?! We got released! It's finally time for me to get AWAY from you!"

"Kacchan, wait. _Please_ wait, this time."

Midoriya was pleading. When Shoto heard Midoriya's desperate tones, his eyes flicked to the ground — but not before he made the mistake of catching sight of his own reflection in the hallway windows that looked out over the UA grounds.

Shoto looked pathetic, even to himself. He looked like a lifeless, deflated balloon. Was he really this affected, just because Midoriya cared enough about Bakugo to beg Bakugo for time alone to talk?

When he finally looked away from himself, putting his eyes back on the ground, he caught another motion in the window. He could see around the corner, thanks also to reflections. Shoto could see Midoriya, arm stretched out, hand gripping Bakugo's shirt fabric... while Bakugo halted, his shoulders heaving.

Shoto didn't move. He knew if he could see the other two in the window, then they'd be able to see him... but at the same time, Shoto knew in his gut that neither of them would turn around to look.

This was one of their private moments. All they could see was each other. Should Shoto turn and walk away? Should he stay, in case Bakugo became violent?

For the first time, Shoto wondered whether whatever he did would matter. Maybe his destiny was to watch forever, useless and unable to interfere. Maybe Shoto would always end up watching Midoriya from afar, by way of a piece of glass in between them.

" _Deku_."

Shoto heard a thud. When he looked again, Bakugo had a fist on Midoriya's throat... and he'd pressed Midoriya back against the hallway wall. Midoriya scrabbled at Bakugo's grip, trembling from his position on his tip-toes.

Shoto closed his eyes and didn't move. If Midoriya wanted this, then he'd respect Midoriya's wishes — for as long as he could bear it.

"I'm tired of your stupid voice, Deku!"

Midoriya coughed. He struggled to get air. "Well, you'll... have to get used to hearing it some more. Stubborn jerk... I-I... don't intend... to give up talking to you, you know."

"AaAAH?" Bakugo squeezed harder.

"I'm tired of—" Midoriya wheezed. "Of arguing like this," he said. "You won't ever _listen,_ Kacchan. And—"

Bakugo scoffed. Shoto watched Bakugo lean forward, to close the gap between him and Midoriya.

Bakugo snarled in Midoriya's face. "I hear you plenty, you damn nerd. That sniveling voice of yours has practically invaded my head — even when you aren't anywhere near me. And I worked with you to kick All Might's ass, didn't I? Even though you only whined at me completely uselessly! Just learn to SHUT UP, why don't you?! If you want things to get better... TRY THAT."

Midoriya still struggled. Then, abruptly, he _stopped_ struggling. Midoriya made himself almost as still as Shoto had.

"Kacchan, we can't go on like this. If we keep hurting each other... a-and I don't mean only on the outside..." Even though Bakugo remained silent, Midoriya couldn't complete his sentence. After a tense moment, he tried again. "I don't want to be your enemy... or your rival at school, either, if it's just going to force us apart in every other way. Don't you understand?"

"HaaAH?!

"Kacchan. Kacchan... you _matter._ " Midoriya's voice broke at that.

Shoto exhaled softly. He looked at his hands. They were cold. Shaking relentlessly. He took a breath and warmed back up with steam.

He shouldn't be here, watching this.

This dispute didn't concern him. It was about more than 'worthy opponents.' It was about more than Midoriya feeling like he was physically bullied. Midoriya's words suggested there were more emotions swirling, complex ones Shoto couldn't understand. And if Shoto stayed... then his position so far away from these childhood friends would cut him. Deeper, deeper, slowly driving him into a cruel kind of frustration. It wasn't Shoto's place to be here.

It wasn't his place. It wasn't his—

Bakugo trembled. "What. Did. You. Say?"

"H-Hah."

Shoto had never heard such a sarcastic, bitter laugh — or such a chilly tone to Midoriya's words right afterward.

"Obviously something you don't want to hear," Midoriya answered.

Bakugo didn't seem like he 'heard' Midoriya whatsoever. "IF WE'RE NOT RIVALS, WHAT ARE WE?! FUCK — why do you have to prove what I said to that ice bastard so right, Deku?! YOU'RE TOO MUCH OF A WEAKLING TO BE MY FRIEND, OR ANYTHING ELSE, AREN'T YOU? AND YET YOU REFUSE TO RIVAL ME? AaaaaAAHH, get over yourself. MOSTLY I THINK WHAT YOU ARE TO ME — WHAT YOU SHOULD BE — IS DEAD, DEKU. DEAD!" Bakugo closed his vise-like grip harder. Midoriya turned red.

"I'm _going_ to be—" Midoriya shouted, seeming to rise into panic at last, as he gasped for more air, "—and so are you, if you keep squeezing me like that, when both of us are already injured!"

Shoto twitched his left hand, and a flame erupted into it. He didn't want to use it. But—

"You..." Bakugo let the pressure of his hold on Midoriya finally subside.

Midoriya started to bend over and cough, but Bakugo pressed him back up on the wall — this time with his hand on Midoriya's shoulder.

Bakugo stared Midoriya in the eye. " _You can handle it,_ Deku." His voice was a low, beast-like growl. All Midoriya did was groan. "You can handle _me_. I know you can. Go on, you formerly-Quirkless brat — CAN'T YOU?" He shook Midoriya like a rattle.

Midoriya coughed. After a moment, he murmured, "I can. But this isn't how I want to, Kacchan."

Bakugo leaned close again. He put his mouth right next to Midoriya's ear. "What was that, you shitty nerd?"

When Midoriya strained aside, he turned his face so Shoto could see it.

Midoriya's expression chilled Shoto at once. Shoto's ready flame flickered out.

Tears made Midoriya's eyelashes dark... but Midoriya shuddered, and when Bakugo whispered, "Well then, huh?!" Midoriya rapidly flushed... and then swallowed — almost like a part of him _wanted_ this. As if, despite the difficulty of it, this scenario was what Midoriya had aimed for... and now he thought he'd gained a chance for victory.

"C-can't we just hug and make up the way we used to as kids, Kacchan? I won't tell anyone. Promise."

Bakugo made a choked sound. He husked, "Deku... you _idiot_." But his voice didn't rise again. His upper body seemed to shake.

"Don't you want it?" Midoriya asked. "Don't you miss being close, being simple like that?"

Shoto gripped his bangs with one hand, his heart dropping to the pit of his stomach.

Midoriya was pleading now, again. But also his tone almost, _almost_ taunted Bakugo then — laced with a layer of some heady challenge, putting a mature tinge to it. Midoriya couldn't possibly mean to tempt Bakugo to abandon his temper by hinting at... at something like—?

No. Midoriya's feelings toward Bakugo certainly didn't involve any threads of... of _that_. Shoto's mind was leaping to his worst fears, that was all. Midoriya was far too innocent to—

"I'm going to fucking _kill you."_ Bakugo's temper flared again. _"_ Don't pretend you know what I want — and don't say such annoying things! Do you realize what you sound like, you stupid little wanton nerd?! Are you trying to make me kill you, now, right here? Stop playing games!"

Midoriya frowned and raised his voice. "I'm trying to get _through_ to you! I don't understand why you hate me so much! I've never understood it, all of these years. But if you tell me what I've done, I can help fix it. K- _Kacchan_ —"

"Shut up, Deku. _Shut. Up._ Now." Bakugo did something Shoto couldn't see.

Midoriya stiffened like a board... and then let out a whimper. "S-stop..."

"Then _you_ stop sounding like you so want it, or this is the shit I'll do to you. _Get it?_ I'll put you on the fucking ground, until you die in a puddle. Or maybe, Deku... I won't. Hah! I'll just beat you with explosions, until you cry and run away, like always. What I want is the thing that ruins you the most, don't you get it? So fucking stop toying with me."

Shoto experienced a new level of shock and shaken control. If Midoriya and Bakugo were 'complicated,' Shoto had never imagined complexities in _this_ kind of sense. Bakugo's ear-tips had turned red; he appeared shaken even though he growled at Midoriya. Shoto wasn't certain Midoriya noticed the effect.

Or did he? Was Midoriya _purposely_ using threads of something deeper between them, to try to force Bakugo to relent? Was—

God, Shoto wanted to be sick.

He should not have stayed to witness this. Shoto shut his eyes, feeling like a twisted voyeur. Was this how it had always been between these two childhood friends? Bakugo, an explosive force... and Midoriya, determined to use gentleness to tone Bakugo down... despite the risks to himself? Despite that to do so, the situation required Midoriya to get pinned to the wall and sized up, as if he were prey? Midoriya cared enough about Bakugo to... to let this...?

"Kacchan. _Please._ Can't we get along?"

"Shut up, Deku. I don't care what you want." Shoto could still hear Bakugo, for the hallway echoed, amplifying the rasp of Bakugo's continuing whisper. "Don't beg me for things like this, sniveling like a cry-baby. Step up and fight me, if you want me to bother with you — so I can CRUSH you and be number one hero. Get it, nerd? _That is all you are good for to me._ You're a stepping stone, Deku — that's it."

"Lying," Midoriya murmured. "You're lying."

"I AM NOT! You understand?!"

"No, I don't," came the reply. "And I'm not going to lose my faith in you. In us. Kacchan... even if we'll never get along like we once did... it doesn't have to _be_ like this!"

Bakugo let Midoriya go.

Then he punched Midoriya in the stomach, hard enough slam him back into the wall they leaned upon.

Shoto flinched. Midoriya sank. For a moment after the crash, the UA hall remained silent.

Bakugo stared downward derisively. " _Too bad._ You're SCUM to me, Deku — you know that. So fucking fuck off already." At that, Bakugo turned and stalked off down the hall without another word.

Shoto swallowed repeatedly, until the sour taste was out of his mouth. His skin had long ago frosted over with wisps of his own vicious cold. Shoto didn't call his heat back... or pursue Bakugo down the hall. He hardly registered Midoriya's prompt sob.

What was Midoriya thinking, pursuing something like this? Another unhappy ending. Violence, tears, abuse, hatred. Had Midoriya honestly believed he could bring about something different? And how come Shoto had been stupid enough to stand there and witness every bit of it? Now Shoto felt useless in more ways than one. Useless, because he hadn't been able to defend Midoriya from Bakugo's insults, or his punch... and useless, because Shoto had realized again he would never be able to heal Midoriya's injured heart.

Midoriya would only be satisfied if _Bakugo_ listened to him — if Bakugo acknowledged him and said, _All right, fine — let's be friends again._

Bakugo would never listen. Bakugo was a hopeless case. Bakugo needed to be landed right back in Recovery Girl's office. Shoto wanted to put him there. But he hadn't. Why hadn't he? Because he'd wanted to believe in Midoriya's ability to change people, the same way Shoto had been changed thanks to him? Because Shoto had wanted to believe Bakugo might be _capable_ of change? Because even though Shoto felt helpless, and jealous... he'd hoped for a miracle, so that Midoriya might finally start smiling again? If Midoriya wanted Bakugo to talk with him, or be kind to him... then part of Shoto wanted it, too. But there was not one thing Shoto could do to help encourage it to happen. Not with complications like... like the tension between childhood friends... who now were fully grown, and felt a _different_ tension.

How could Shoto hope to interfere between people like that? Even if it was for Midoriya...

Beyond the situation involving Midoriya and Bakugo... there was the matter of getting involved in the fights of other folk in general. It... it was pretentious to butt in, and doing so simply because he liked Midoriya wasn't Hero-like, was it. Heroes didn't act based off their own personal emotions.

Shoto squinted his eyes shut. There was no right answer about what he could or should do. Not like this. There was just Midoriya on the floor, crying. Just Midoriya, fisting one battle-scarred hand and slamming it fruitlessly against the wall — one time. Twice.

" _Damn_ it, Kacchan..."

But Bakugo was already down the hall. And in another moment, Shoto wanted to be as well — in the opposite direction.

Instead, he stepped around the corner, before he registered his body move.

When Midoriya turned, Shoto held out a hand. Shoto said, "Let me help you to stand up, after that."

"Ah, no. Really—" Midoriya managed to get to his knees. "Oh gosh, I can't believe this is the second time now you've seen me like this, Todoroki."

"Take my hand. Don't be ashamed. Like I said, it's not your fault if he doesn't listen. You get points for trying with him." Shoto kept his face blank of expression. The least he could do was to sound like a friend.

"Did... did you witness all of that?" Midoriya dropped his eyes.

Shoto lied to the boy, for the first time. "No. I just rounded the corner and saw Bakugo trudging away from you. With you on the ground, the situation wasn't difficult to read."

"It looks pretty pathetic, huh." Midoriya stood on his own. "Honestly, I'm sorry for this."

Shoto lowered his hand. It was still cold. He couldn't even manage to be useful in terms of clean-up. Midoriya wouldn't let him.

He couldn't even comfort Midoriya in the aftermath.

"It's no trouble," Shoto said. He warmed his hands in his pockets and uttered, "Let's go to class."

* * *

At the end of class, everyone was excited. Even those who'd failed their tests against the teachers were allowed to attend summer training camp.

Midoriya approached Shoto; his smile made Shoto wish he could forget that morning's incident. Did Midoriya still feel awkward? Was he trying now to make up for it? His friendliness didn't make Shoto forget the mess Midoriya had been in the hall, pinned underneath Bakugo, but...

But perhaps Midoriya got points for trying. At the least, Shoto felt himself stir inside when Midoriya stood near him.

When Midoriya asked Shoto if he wanted to go shopping, however, Shoto refused. He said he wanted to visit his mother.

And that was exactly what Shoto planned to do... after he saw to something else.

As the class filed out, chattering happily, Shoto walked up to the front of the room.

"Mr. Aizawa," he said, stone-faced. "I want to talk to All Might."


	4. All Might

**Author Note:** _In the Japanese, All Might adds "shounen" after people's names when he addresses the boy students, which I love. "Midoriya-shounen! Todoroki-shounen!" I didn't want to have to translate that... but since I've already killed regular honorifics in here (like -kun and stuff), I decided to. I figured it'd be better to use an English equivalent._

I've heard people change it to "Midoriya, my boy!" but that sounds kind of like old-man-speak to me. So I went for something that felt more accurate, if cheesier, and that's "Young Midoriya!" Please bear with it.

* * *

The door to the teacher's lounge flew open, despite that Shoto stood with his hand poised to knock. He hadn't even had a chance to announce that he was outside?

"Young Todoroki!" All Might boomed, posing inside the door with a smile. All Might's meaty hands perched on his hips. "Mr. Aizawa said you'd be coming!"

This was the first time, Shoto realized, that he'd been this close to All Might without other students around.

The Hero in the flesh three feet from him made Shoto hesitate for a moment — as if the world had gone surreal. Then Shoto collected himself. He squeezed around All Might, walking toward the chair he assumed must have been set out for his visit. "Hi. Thank you for seeing me."

"Hah hah hah hah!"

Shoto tried not to let his eyes widen in increasing wonder. Hearing that laugh echo in the teacher's lounge further helped him to collect himself; for as much as All Might's laugh intimidated, the sound carried a warming, heartening quality. _Amazing,_ Shoto thought, as he sat down. So this was the power and comfort of being in a room alone with the Symbol of Peace.

"Of course!" All Might was chuckling. "What can I do for you, student?"

All Might shut the door to the hallway — with too much of his brute strength. The man winced and apologized when the doorframe seemed to shudder.

"I must say, you have me fired up! And there _is_ something to be fired up about, isn't there, Young Todoroki? Your face says you need a Hero! Indeed, the thought of one of my students in trouble..."

All Might moved, to stand before the couch across from Shoto's wooden chair and the lounge room's coffee table.

"It's not every day a young student seeks me out during office hours. But don't worry about your problem. Everything will be okay. _Why_ , you ask? Because—"

"Could you sit down?"

Shoto asked it neutrally.

All Might cut himself off. He blinked. Then he sat on the couch, still grinning, but scratching his head now — as if embarrassed. "Pardon me — I do get carried away."

Once All Might was sitting, his larger-than-life appearance lessened. Shoto found himself able to calm down his faint inner fanboy. Like this, Shoto thought he'd manage to keep collected enough to hold conversation.

But Shoto _did_ wonder if that initial feeling of being overwhelmed and awestruck was what Midoriya struggled with every day, now that All Might taught at their school.

Shoto said, "I came for advice. I'm not in serious trouble, All Might."

All Might laughed again, slapping his knee. "I see, I see. Endeavor still isn't allowing enough father-son time in his life, is he? Even after what you went through at the festival, discovering all the new thoughts and decisions you needed to face... Your family life is still hindering you in your path to becoming a Hero, mentally!"

Shoto blinked. But he did no more than that. All Might mentioned Endeavor so easily. It wasn't the same in Shoto's house; All Might's name couldn't be spoken by anyone without Endeavor flying into a rage. Shoto was a bit surprised to learn the sensitivity only went one direction. He wondered for the hundredth time exactly how well All Might and his father knew each other... and whether perhaps the rivalry they had for the number one Hero spot was mostly a figment of his father's mind.

"Young Todoroki, if you look at me like that without expression, then I'm going to think I've just offended you — or perhaps hit the nail upon the head."

All Might's voice turned soft, uncertain. Almost like he felt awkward. Or like Shoto made him nervous — because Shoto sat and thought without speaking.

Shoto realized there was a man behind the Hero before him. There'd always been a man behind Endeavor, a man Shoto persistently hated. But Shoto had been keeping All Might special in his mind, separate, preserving All Might as something greater. After all, wasn't All Might a symbol?

If they had this conversation, would Shoto have to change the way he had always looked at this man?

"Do I need to have a chat with your father? Has he been neglecting you at home, or bullying you about your learning? Did your internship with him leave you upset?"

Shoto leaned back in his chair; it creaked. He raked back the red portion of his hair. "It isn't that. I'm sorry I'm so quiet."

Did Midoriya know what it was like, to talk to the All Might who was just a man?

A nervous laugh. "It's all right. But...?"

Without question, Shoto decided again that he could trust All Might with his grievances. All Might was as pure and righteous and unbiased as Heroes _or_ men came. Unbiased, well, _except_ for...

"I didn't come here about my father. All Might... I came about Midoriya."

All Might appeared to stiffen in his chair. This time, the man's laughter was truly strained. "Young Midoriya!" he said. He waved a hand, as if to brush the name off. "You beat him thoroughly at the festival! What about such a boy could be bothering you?"

There were things Shoto wished to ask. _What relationship do you and Midoriya really have? Why are you so interested in his progress as a student, All Might?_ But this was not the time or place. And Shoto suspected that All Might wouldn't answer, anyhow.

Shoto said, "I'm concerned for him. I don't know what to do. It's Bakugo."

All Might clasped his hands together. Then he pressed his tongue against the inside of his cheek. He uttered, "That rivalry. Indeed. Yes..."

"When Mr. Aizawa teamed them up together, to fight you during the exams, I don't think it was a good idea. There's been fallout thanks to it. And—"

"What fallout?"

Shoto looked into All Might's deep-set eyes, instead of frowning at his lap. "Midoriya has been trying to reconcile their relationship. But Bakugo attacks him — every time. It makes Midoriya upset... but he keeps going back for more." Shoto dropped his eyes and curled his hands. "It's as if nothing anybody says is able to get through to him. Like that, it isn't just his Quirk that Midoriya's being careless with. Bakugo has no restraint. He causes extra damage to Midoriya — and Midoriya doesn't care."

"And why is that an issue of yours, Young Todoroki?" All Might leaned back on the couch, crossing his arms. The motion made his muscles appear huge.

Shoto fisted his hands harder atop his lap.

This wasn't the response he'd expected. Was All Might trying to test him?

Perhaps. All Might's gaze appeared quite serious. But didn't All Might care about Midoriya's wellbeing? How could All Might be so blasé about this — or suggest _Shoto_ ought to be?

Shoto didn't want to lose his temper so easily, but... "You're asking me that?" he replied. "I come here to tell you I think a classmate is being threatened — at school, in the place where he should be most safe — and you ask why it's my problem? It's not as if I could have seen the issue and done nothing. Even coming here to you is less than I wish I could do. Don't patronize me, All Might."

All Might tipped back his head and chuckled. It became apparent All Might didn't mean to anger him. "But still, Young Todoroki — answer me. Call it just humoring me, if you wish. Or treat it like I'm giving you an impromptu test, to assess your judgment. Yes. Do your best!"

It _was_ a kind of test. Damn UA. All Might hadn't been teaching here for long, but now even he couldn't resist evaluating his students like this?

Or maybe All Might was just trying to be certain Shoto's concern for Midoriya didn't come with ulterior motives. Maybe All Might didn't know whether he could trust Shoto entirely... because Shoto was still better known as one of Midoriya's worthy opponents.

Shoto drew a steadying breath. "Midoriya's problem is _my_ problem," he said, "because I think Midoriya is someone worth protecting. I want to be a Hero, All Might; I can't stand by when someone is bullied. But I've also realized that I can't interfere... because Midoriya doesn't see himself as Bakugo's victim. If I force my way in, it will only make Midoriya resent me — besides setting off Bakugo. Any result is dangerous at this point, if I act on my own. That's why I had to come to you. I needed help from a professional."

All Might stood up suddenly. "My _goodness!"_

Shoto tensed... but then relaxed when All Might walked to the tea pot. He poured green tea into a cup and plunked the cup down in front of Shoto.

Shoto watched the liquid tremble. The tea put off a lovely, scented steam. Was All Might trying to calm him?

"I see I've been underestimating you," All Might told him. "You go beyond expectations when it comes to caring for your fellow students — even if you usually look chilly. Plus ultra!"

Shoto put his hands around the tea cup and decided it was okay that All Might stood again, smiling at him, making Shoto feel like a young child confronted with his idol.

"Hear this, Young Todoroki. I don't think you're wrong to be concerned. Young Bakugo is indeed a handful... but you must remember that he's struggling inside. All good Heroes have to fight their inner darkness now and then. And sometimes others get dragged in — those closest to them, those they love..."

Shoto tried not to bite his lip. All Might surely wasn't trying to tell him Bakugo _loved_ Midoriya? All Might must have been more generally speaking. After all, despite All Might's mysterious closeness to Midoriya, Shoto doubted the man knew details like _that._

"It will take time for Young Bakugo to come around, of that I'm already certain. But come around he will. Until then, try to have a little more faith in him — and in Young Midoriya!" All Might hadn't sat back down. He moved around behind Shoto and slapped Shoto encouragingly on the back. "Young Midoriya is stronger than he looks... and I know you have seen that, too. As long as he's not giving up, then doubtless he can handle it. It's our duty as friends and defenders of Young Midoriya to give him the space he needs to grow and make his own mistakes."

Shoto refuted that immediately, blinking and understanding in an instant. "You're just saying that because you've already tried to knock sense into Midoriya about dealing with Bakugo, just like you tried to knock sense into Bakugo, and neither of them listened — even to you."

The situation was worse than Shoto had imagined. If not even All Might could affect those two...

All Might's smile didn't waver. "Y-you're a harsh, perceptive young man, aren't you?" This time it was clear Shoto had made All Might feel socially awkward.

And that All Might, again, was just a human being — doing his best to navigate the waves around Midoriya.

Shoto put his tea cup down, to say something else that was worrying him. "All Might. You must know better than I do. If not even Midoriya can get through to Bakugo, and if Bakugo doesn't become the number one Hero the way he wants... won't he be tempted to become a Villain? And won't that threaten Midoriya even more?"

The steam rose out of Shoto's cup. All Might took a moment before he answered.

"For both Young Bakugo's sake, and Young Midoriya's, I dearly hope something like that doesn't happen. But you aren't wrong, Young Todoroki. Sometimes misguided Heroes do unfortunately become Villains. With people like us to look after the situation, it's unlikely Young Bakugo will go wrong — but since you've pointed out there is a chance... Well, I don't have to tell you, do I? Do your best to be kind to and look after Young Bakugo, not simply Young Midoriya."

Shoto kneaded his brow with his knuckles. It was not completely what he wanted to hear. He desperately wanted permission to look after Midoriya — or justification for it that didn't ride on his personal feelings — but why should he concern himself with trying to help _Bakugo?_

"I don't know if I can do that. I don't know that I care enough. The one who matters to me is Midoriya, above anyone else."

A drop of sweat made its way down All Might's temple. "Please explain yourself, young man."

Shoto shut his eyes and breathed out. It was obvious now, wasn't it? Did he want to admit to it? "I'm jealous of the two of them. I wish Midoriya would give up on their relationship... and choose to trust in me instead."

Too late, he realized that his breath had been chill. The tea cup in front of him filmed up with ice.

Then, because of the sudden cold against the heat of the liquid, the tea cup cracked. Green tea began to leak around the crack, and slowly melt the ice, so water pooled on the coffee table.

Shoto took off his school jacket and used its sleeve to wipe the mess.

He didn't say another word. He could not have made a good impression on All Might, saying what he just had. But Shoto couldn't help it. The feelings building in him were true. And bothersome. And plaguing him. He knew it didn't make him seem like a good person. Shoto's eyes itched, prickling. But...

All Might paced back around the coffee table. He'd put one hand over his mouth, seemingly unconcerned about the tea spill happening before him. "D-don't tell me this boy has feelings for Young Midoriya — the kind like that?"

"I can still hear you," Shoto said.

All Might only nervously laughed.

"I know my jealousy isn't helpful," Shoto murmured. His uniform sleeve dripped tea onto the floor. "I can't get in between them, but I _want_ to. Midoriya's in pain... and yet I'm not enough to make him feel better. I'm only good for him physically—"

"I hope you're talking about things like training matches and arm wrestles, young man."

Shoto sighed. So... All Might was the over-protective, sheltering, parent type when it came to his favorite student.

"There's no need to instigate me," Shoto said. He'd been talking about easing Midoriya's broken fingers by using his ice and steam.

Where exactly had All Might's mind gone, anyway? That sort of thing was Shoto's business — and Shoto tried to keep his own brain consciously away from there.

If he couldn't have Midoriya, there was no sense in wishing, in torturing himself.

"All I want is to protect him," Shoto said, feeling helplessness jab him. "So I can beat him to the top some day... or simply fight alongside him. And yet because of the way I feel, because I can't look out for Bakugo, too, and trust Midoriya's judgement, like you said... Because _I_ want to be the one responsible for helping Midoriya grow... All Might, will I fail at becoming a Hero?"

It was the question he had most wished to ask. All Might stiffened and looked at him.

"Heroes don't do things selfishly, because it's only good for them..." Shoto felt the sting behind his eyes assert itself again, but he fought it. He struggled to sound sure and calm. "I _feel_ like I could be a Hero when I think of helping him, but if my desire is misguided... then I don't want to end up the one in danger of becoming a Villain."

All Might appeared shocked. "Young Todoroki."

"I'm sorry," Shoto said, monotone. "I couldn't deal with this alone."

At that, All Might walked to him. His considering gaze felt benevolent. "Whoever suggested that you needed to... that person deserves a Detroit Punch!" All Might leaned over, hugged Shoto, and patted Shoto on the back.

The way All Might gave out hugs reminded Shoto how strong the Hero was. All Might was _so_ strong he understood that not even a show of affection could subtract from his powerful image — so he gave out his affection freely. He didn't balk from kindness.

It reminded Shoto of Midoriya.

Shoto managed to combat the tears now doubly threatening to fall from him. "Holding my feelings in until now was my own decision," he uttered, while he thought, _because I'm so weak._ As well, Shoto said it because he didn't need All Might thinking his emotional difficulties somehow had to do with Endeavor.

"In that case..."

Shoto looked up — but not in time to stop All Might's fist from connecting with his cheek.

The hit was soft. Almost fond. Shoto only got sent skidding partway off his wooden chair.

Still, he gaped at All Might, eyes wide.

"You're a very passionate, intelligent young man," All Might expressed. Then he put up his frozen fist.

Shoto's instantaneous reaction hadn't ruined All Might's grin.

Shoto whooshed steam at the ice chunk at once. All Might shook off his hand afterward, spraying them both casually with water. Shoto's attack hadn't even left the _ghost_ of a mark on All Might's skin.

"There's no reason you should hold back from now on. Young Midoriya is luckier than I ever was, at his age... That said, listen very closely to me now, okay? A little bit of your assessment was wrong."

Shoto rearranged himself in his chair and nodded, breathless.

"Your urge to protect Young Midoriya — even at the expense of another classmate — doesn't mean you can't be a Hero." But then All Might paused. All Might cleared his throat.

Another voice quickly cut in, from the floor. "That's just like you, isn't it, All Might? I suppose I need to take it from here."

Shoto sprung out of his chair — at the same time All Might started laughing anxiously again, scratching his head. Down on the floor walked a little white mouse in a suit.

Shoto bowed. "Principal, sir."

The principal climbed on the couch and waved a greeting at Shoto. All Might still looked embarrassed. "For how long have you been here, Sir?"

The principal grinned. "For long enough to see you were about to give Todoroki a speech about a subject that you aren't terribly certain about yourself yet, All Might."

"I hardly think it's fair to make fun of me." All Might sank back onto the couch.

Shoto remained standing, perplexed.

"Todoroki." The principal looked at him. "Not every Hero has the power to save or concern himself with every victim indiscriminately. Historically, it's only All Might that has been able to save every person at every scene he's at — because he has the power to prioritize them all. And yet even he knows how rare that is. I believe what All Might was about to try to communicate to you — although I hope I can do it better — is that sometimes, it's okay to prioritize helping the people who mean the most to you, over anybody else."

Shoto looked at the ground and tensed — especially when he saw All Might appear torn himself regarding the topic. Was All Might thinking about how he favored Midoriya most?

"But that's having a bias," Shoto said. "It's selfish. If I focus only on my own feelings, and on rescuing only those I care about, then my actions might cause someone _else_ to lose somebody important to _them_. An injury or a death might be my fault, and I may as well have delivered the blow myself at that point — because I put my own priorities ahead of theirs." If Shoto focused on Midoriya, and Bakugo somehow got hurt while Shoto wasn't paying attention—

"You could look at it like that," the principal said, "or you could look at it like this: Even Pro Heroes with Quirks are human. Sometimes we need to rely on others to help us stay strong. Sometimes our Quirks aren't enough to power us. Sometimes we need to depend on people we care about — and who care about us — to help us discover our reason to fight. In other words, for some Heroes, certain people are the reason they can even _be_ Heroes. If that kind of person is threatened... it makes sense for the Hero to save them first."

Was the principal trying to say it was okay if Shoto considered Midoriya his important person? His... his drive, his reason to fight? If Midoriya made Shoto feel stronger... then it would be fine if Midoriya became the person Shoto most wished to prioritize.

"Because without that kind of person, the Hero would fall apart, and then wouldn't be able to do anything else Heroic. In that case, it's not such a crime if you can't look out for somebody extra."

Somebody extra. Like Bakugo.

Shoto stared at the mouse-man. The back of his throat felt swollen and constricted. Something still didn't sit right with him, here. "But that still means somebody else might have to die, in order for me to save someone I like — and what right do I have to make that call? If I'm not strong enough to save everyone..." Was the principal saying it was okay to let Bakugo struggle with darkness and eventually self-destruct, in favor of preserving Midoriya alone? Shouldn't a Hero honestly attempt to rescue both people?

Didn't anyone besides Shoto realize how closely intertwined Midoriya and Bakugo were?

Shoto didn't enjoy having these thoughts. They made him feel more at war inwardly. More helpless and more confused.

Shoto didn't like Bakugo. Morals, ideals... they didn't mesh with the jealousy inside his heart. And yet, if Shoto wanted to be a good person... be _his_ idea of a Hero, despite what anyone else thought... Was he going to have to care about and look out for _both_ childhood friends, despite wishing they'd fall apart so Shoto could have Midoriya instead?

Again, Shoto ran a hand back through his hair.

"You're making him nervous," All Might cut in. "This is all moral debate too complex for a young man simply trying to deal with his affection for and protective emotions toward a close classmate."

"Do you think so?" The principal sighed. "I'm terribly sorry, Todoroki. Perhaps I'm too hasty to warm to these subjects."

Shoto wanted to grit his teeth.

"Young Todoroki," All Might said. The Hero leaned forward, prodding Shoto in the chest. "For now, don't worry so much about whether a Hero has the right to want to prioritize and protect someone he cares about. Just follow what's here."

Shoto looked down at All Might's mighty finger, pointing at his heart.

"Just try being yourself around Young Midoriya, and taking Young Bakugo's outbursts as you always do — with a few extra grains of salt. Let the answers come to you at their own pace. What do you say?"

Shoto wet his lips with his tongue. All Might was telling him to let it go, to proceed regularly from here on, as himself... and let the answers come that way?

His mind turned. Just be himself?

"Hah hah hah!" All Might sprung up at that, striking a pose. "How is that for good hero advice! Now, onward with that, Young Todoroki. Just be yourself, yes! Go beyond!"

Shoto realized it was the end of their session. He saw the principal nodding. And perhaps, Shoto realized, the principal was here because he had something important to see All Might about. He shouldn't intrude any more. Not when his problems might be solved by simply waiting, and considering more.

He looked again at his spilled tea, but All Might told him not to worry about it.

Shoto let All Might escort him back to the door. "P-plus ultra." Shoto uttered it softly.

" _Plus ultra!"_

The principal muttered, while All Might blocked the door back in, and Shoto cleared his throat and wondered whether there was something else he should say. "I don't see how your advice was that much better than mine, All Might," came the small, musing tones. "The boy is obviously lovesick, which could make him volatile, but he's good-hearted enough to stay concerned about whether his affection might jeopardize his ideals — or other people's lives. This was a perfect opportunity to teach him how to make healthy use of his attraction in his Hero training, versus just letting it make him react the explosive way Bakugo does, for example—"

"Off with you now, young man!" All Might said it loudly, like he wished Shoto not to hear the principal.

Shoto swallowed and nodded. He thanked All Might for his time.

All Might turned back around, and Shoto heard the Hero's answer to the principal before the door clicked closed. "I know I'm not the best teacher, but there really was no need to make me seem blockheaded about these matters in front of him."

And then he heard the muffled reply through the door. "Yes, but really, what do you know? You can't just be thinking of what Midoriya is to you when you give out advice like that. I'm curious. You haven't had a lasting love affair that I know of—"

"Sir, please, this is embarrassing..."

Shoto made his way down the hall. All Might and the Principal thought Shoto had feelings for Midoriya. Shoto hadn't told them they were wrong.

Beyond that, they'd both tried to tell Shoto that it was okay to want to protect Midoriya... and put Midoriya's well-being before Bakugo's.

But All Might had also warned that Bakugo was struggling and needed kindness... and that Shoto should have more trust in Midoriya's decisions regarding Bakugo.

What was Shoto supposed to do? At the very least, it seemed he shouldn't hate himself for what he felt, or feel he needed to give up on trying to be a Hero entirely, simply because Midoriya made him feel urges he was getting worse at controlling.

Shoto looked down at his hands as he walked. Even if he settled all the turmoil inside himself... would it mean he'd be able to proceed on whatever path he wanted to?

What Midoriya wanted mattered, too. Shoto was certain that Midoriya wanted _Bakugo_. And no matter what All Might might have said about taking Bakugo's fury with a grain of salt and trying to look out for him... Shoto knew that if Bakugo didn't want to be protected, or if he wanted to make trouble for trouble's sake... then there would be no stopping him. If Bakugo thought Shoto was in the way, he would just try to crush Shoto. Shoto thought everyone still underestimated Bakugo's resolve.

He had no doubt that if he chose to focus on Midoriya... then Bakugo would not like it. Shoto as well was one of Bakugo's rivals.

Shoto was worried there would be no way to avoid a showdown.


	5. After The Shopping Incident

Shoto looked at the plump woman who gaped at him from just inside the door. He almost jumped when she shouted into the space behind her. "Izuku!" She turned around and almost tripped. "Izuku, one of your rivals from school is here!"

She sounded like she didn't know whether she should be mortified. And then she simply disappeared, apparently settling on mortified.

Shoto stood there outside, for a moment. The woman — Midoriya's mother, Shoto decided — left the front door cracked open as she retreated into the apartment, calling something about how on earth could somebody so scary have gotten their address. Hearing her words made Shoto sigh.

He pushed the door open and stepped in the house, and then he took off and set aside his shoes. So, he'd been announced as one of Midoriya's rivals, not one of Midoriya's friends. He wondered if that was due to what had been seen on TV of their festival matches, or whether it was things Midoriya said at home around the house.

At least Midoriya's mother was smart. In her fear, she ran straight for the help of her son with the Quirk, instead of wasting time again shutting and locking the door she probably assumed Shoto could blast through, anyway — if he honestly wanted to.

Shoto was closing the front door neatly behind him, trying not to feel awkward and hopeless, when the out-of-breath woman tottered back — with Midoriya close in front of her.

Midoriya met Shoto's eyes. "Oh— This is Todoroki, Mom. There isn't any reason to be scared."

"But he's the ice and flame one, isn't he? He was so hard on you at the festival! My heart!"

Shoto tried not to listen in as Midoriya calmed his mother down. He also tried not to wonder how Bakugo might have been announced, if Bakugo had shown up instead of him.

Would it have been, _Oh, Izuku, your lovely friend Katsuki is here?_

"It's all right, Mom — it really is."

"But now I'm scared of everyone! There isn't a safe place that you can go, unless it's here at home. How can we let people in? After such an incident shopping yesterday—"

"That's why I'm here," Shoto cut in. "I'm worried for Izuku, too."

Both Mrs. Midoriya and Midoriya looked at him when Shoto spoke. Before Shoto could negate his statement, apologize for addressing Midoriya by his first name, or worse than those, begin to blush, Midoriya said, "Let me talk to him, Mom. I promise it will be okay. Todoroki wouldn't hurt me."

Shoto felt something in his chest contract. And after... the feeling swelled up — sweet and warm like marshmallows in microwaves. Midoriya's last statement made him feel nice. Appreciated. Understood. _Wouldn't hurt me._

It was true. Shoto was glad Midoriya realized it, and didn't think Shoto's back-up in Hosu had just been a fluke after all. Shoto was glad Midoriya had taken his words about wanting to protect him to heart... and heard them, despite the way mention of Bakugo had sidetracked them at the time.

And yet, Midoriya's realization of Todoroki's intentions not to hurt him didn't mean Midoriya would agree to let Shoto protect him. Shoto wasn't a body guard. Midoriya had never asked for one. And Midoriya might not necessarily be glad that Shoto had shown up at his house.

Shoto couldn't let this get to his head.

"You can come to my room for a bit, since you're already here, Todoroki."

Shoto bowed, after glancing at the shoes he had been bold enough to remove before being given permission. "I— Thank you. Please forgive my intrusion." He should learn to control himself.

As he padded behind Midoriya down the hall, further reprimanding himself inside his head, Shoto gleaned subtle information from everything he looked at. The house was clean, simple, and welcoming. Midoriya's mother must be a kindly, attentive woman, besides being rather smart.

The door to Midoriya's room opened next, and Shoto froze at the door jamb.

Then he realized he should have expected this.

Blue suit version. Red suit version. Flapping capes. Shining, blond, rabbit-ear hair. A smile bright enough to rival suns. The image of All Might looked back at Shoto from posters, action figures, and paraphernalia everywhere.

Shoto did his best to close his hanging jaw. "Your room suits you," he stated.

Midoriya seemed to scramble to appease Shoto somehow — by drawing him inside, shutting the door, and stammering. "I-I know it's a bit much. But I've liked All Might ever since I was a kid. Try to forgive it if you can."

"It's amazing," Shoto said. "There's nothing to forgive. I'm almost upset."

"Upset?" Midoriya squeaked.

Shoto turned in a small circle, at last allowing himself to show Midoriya a hint of his awe — in the way he looked carefully next at each shining display. "My father would have never let me have a bunch of things like this. As it was, I once brought home an All Might toy. A pocket-sized one." He'd almost forgotten the incident, but Midoriya's figurines recalled it to him. "It was lent to me by a friend. My mother told me I needed to hide it, but I wanted to play, so I brought it outside... and when I went back out, after having been called in for my dinner break, I found it in the driveway, burned to cinders. A perfect crisp." Shoto walked closer to a photo of All Might that grinned out of a frame. Then he, too, almost grinned.

Midoriya looked thunderstruck, when Shoto turned away from it. He scratched his cheek. "En... Endeavor burned it. Hah, I see. That sounds like him."

"Does All Might know you have all this?" Shoto asked. "Has he seen all your notes on him?"

"T-Todoroki, if you could stop making me feel weird about my admiration for our teacher, now..."

Shoto turned away from the largest poster — the one above the bed. He said, "Right. I forgot — and I'm sorry. It makes you feel weird when I bring up All Might, doesn't it. Because of what I said before our match at the school festival." Shoto was an idiot to forget it. "Accusing your Quirk of being similar to his, making it sound like you were connected to him..."

Midoriya laughed awkwardly.

"I've stopped over-analyzing it. I promise not to bring it up again." Shoto knew there were secrets there. But he wouldn't pry... because he too much respected both parties involved.

"Well, uhm. Let's change the subject, then?"

But at that point, their conversation stopped. Shoto cleared his throat after a moment, and tried hard to start it again. "Your mother seems very sweet."

"She's— she's normally sweeter," Midoriya said. "She's still a bit hysterical from what happened at the mall. I don't know why she can't just let it go, when I try to tell her I'm fine."

Shoto gave Midoriya a flat stare. "Because it had to do with Shigaraki Tomura," he said.

Midoriya shivered. "Y-yeah." His hand moved — seemingly unconsciously — upward, to touch his neck on the side, then his throat in front. "I told you via text most of the details I've now told the police. I'd be lying if I didn't say I'm still a bit unnerved... but they closed the mall, and everyone escaped without a scratch — including both Uraraka and me. It wasn't anything like that time at school. I don't think anyone needs to worry too much. Or at least, not at this point. His threat was more for the future."

"We don't know when the future is. It could be as soon as tomorrow. And it doesn't change that he put hands on you while you were defenseless," Shoto said. "He did, on your neck, didn't he. That's the back-up plan he used to get you to listen to him, in addition to threatening everyone else." Shoto had confirmed it, watching Midoriya.

Midoriya jerked. He lowered his hand from where it had brushed his neck. "Ah... you can tell, can't you, even though he didn't squeeze enough to leave a bruise." Shoto watched Midoriya swallow, and then try to shrug and laugh. "The whole thing gave me chills. He said he could crumble my neck to bits if he put all five fingers onto me at once. But I'm fine. He... he didn't."

"That scum." Shoto didn't lighten his expression. His words seem to make Midoriya fall still. "He's worse than Stain. He has no conviction. He just intimidates and kills for no discernible reason — as if he's bored, or just feels like seeing something interesting that day. Like a child."

Midoriya's green eyes went wide. "That's pretty much what I told him. And then I made him... made him want to destroy All Might even more. I-I really messed up, if I'm being honest." Midoriya's gaze fell to the ground. Shoto could almost feel waves of regret seeping off of him. "That's the biggest thing I left the mall not being okay with."

Shoto wanted to wipe Midoriya's distress away, and for once, he didn't have to work to find words he thought could do it. "You didn't make Shigaraki Tomura do anything. And All Might won't ever get defeated by somebody like that, so don't worry. You weren't wrong to give that asshole a speech about his personality flaws. I wish All Might could have finished him along with that Nomu, before." Shoto's voice dropped when he said it. "A guy like that needs to be stopped."

"I'm fine now, Todoroki." Midoriya was watching him, almost as if Shoto's words made him on edge, or made him wonder something. Had Shoto scared him?

Shoto breathed, until his shoulders relaxed. "Please forgive my enthusiasm. It just annoys me that he cornered you when you were by yourself."

Shoto had failed. He should have been there, too. If he'd kept beside Midoriya, and gone shopping with the rest of the class, instead of to see All Might and whine about his jealousy—

"Ah, well, Iida does that to me all the time — corners me alone like that. He tells me not to be late, and to make sure I stick up for as many of the girls as I can. Especially whenever Mineta is in one of his, uhm. Hungry moods. So I'm sure I'll get over it."

"Those two aren't the same thing at all."

Midoriya's gaze still pinned him. "Are you that worried about me?" he asked.

Shoto averted his eyes, feeling faintly warmer than usual, just then. He decided he might as well tell the truth. "Yeah." What could it hurt, to let Midoriya learn more directly of all the ways Shoto now cared?

When he looked back, Midoriya had flushed. It made Shoto feel twice as warm himself. He wondered if Midoriya normally kept his bedroom thermostat so high. That was what it was, wasn't it?

They tried to speak at the same time. "You know—"

Shoto closed his mouth immediately. He turned — to hide his face. "You first."

Midoriya said, "Ah, nothing really! I was going to ask if you wanted to do something."

"Do something?" Shoto's voice cracked.

"To take your mind off your distress! You came here to assure yourself that I'm really okay now, right? Well then, if we do something fun and natural, your fear will be assuaged, won't it?"

Something fun and natural. With Midoriya? Shoto wasn't sure what that would be. But his mind came up briefly with certain ideas. Before he could catch them, kill them, and control himself, Midoriya talked again.

Midoriya said, "You're steaming."

Shoto caught his left arm instantly — with his right hand — then squeezed, to get himself in check. He chilled himself quickly with frost, until he looked normal again. "I'm not bad at board games or card games," he uttered. "I'm not good at video games. I don't do a lot for fun. I mostly help around my house."

Where exactly had his mind tried to go?

Midoriya rummaged through a stack of games next to his Blu-ray Discs. "Oh, that's too bad about video games. I have a lot of neat ones, like my favorites from childhood. They're almost retro now. Let's see. How about—"

"Did you play them alone? Or with friends?"

"Mostly I played against my friends."

Shoto chose to find the nearest All Might poster fascinating again. "It's hard to imagine whether you or Bakugo usually won."

Midoriya's searching slowed. He said, "Kacchan usually did." Then Midoriya cleared his throat and started looking for things they could do again. Behind the games, he dug out a pack of yellowed playing cards. "Found it."

"Did he come over here a lot? Were his parents friends with your mother?"

Midoriya paused in spreading out and counting playing cards. Shoto could see from here that almost a third of the deck was missing.

"Todoroki."

Shoto swallowed. "What is it?"

"You bring up Kacchan a lot." Midoriya's tone stayed neutral, but something appeared to be bothering him.

Shoto didn't know what to say. Was Midoriya testing him, to gauge Shoto's feelings about Bakugo?

He didn't think before he spoke. "I bring him up because you're obsessed with him." _Or he's obsessed with you. Or both._

"I see. Even if it is like that," Midoriya cleared his throat again, and Shoto tried not to be irked Midoriya didn't deny it might be an obsession, "you know... you don't have to rely on him to have a conversation with me."

Shoto didn't know what to say — again. So for a time, he said nothing. A large part of Midoriya's history had to do with Bakugo, didn't it? What was Shoto supposed to talk about, if it wasn't something relevant to Midoriya, and Midoriya's interests?

He let Midoriya keep counting cards. Then he thought about All Might's advice.

 _Be yourself._ Take things about Bakugo with a grain of salt. Don't dwell on whether it's right to want to look out for Midoriya, and an answer about whether Shoto could be Midoriya's hero _and_ a real Hero at the same time... It would eventually come.

And yet. Could Shoto be himself? He'd never really thought about showing himself to others until now. Sharing himself with Midoriya was fine, and something Shoto did desire more of — but he was worried about what Midoriya might see. What aspect of Shoto's life was safe to share? So much seemed difficult in his life lately. Shoto didn't want to press any of his hardships onto Midoriya. He didn't want to scare Midoriya away with angst about his father, or too many sentimental or emotional stories regarding his slow progress with his mother. He didn't want to startle Midoriya with his... with his blossoming attraction.

And that _was_ what it was, Shoto thought with a flinch. Shoto did like Midoriya that way, or he was starting to. Deeply. All Might hadn't read Shoto wrong.

Shoto ought to finally admit it — even if the only person he could admit it to was himself. The sooner he did, perhaps the sooner he could determine how selfish he was being when he uttered words like, _I'm jealous,_ and claimed he couldn't care about Bakugo _._ He could decide whether feelings of this level solidified Midoriya as his driving force, as his reason to become a Hero. Shoto's desire to see his mother's pain avenged might not be enough to sustain his determination; it might indeed take someone as kind and motivating as Midoriya on top of it.

"You don't have enough playing cards," Shoto said, after a long minute of Midoriya sorting cards and glancing at him. "We should try doing something else. You like learning and recording things about people's Quirks, right?" When Midoriya nodded, he said, "There are more useful things I've recently learned about my own."

Midoriya's green eyes lit up. "Something cool, like a level-up?"

"I'll show you, if you want to watch."

"Should I give you more space?" Midoriya stood.

All Shoto said was, "Just get a towel."

Midoriya didn't move. A strange look overtook his face. "A towel?"

Shoto did himself the favor of snagging the bath towel from the back of Midoriya's door himself. It still felt damp with moisture. Had Midoriya showered this morning, changed, and left the towel here to be taken back to the bathroom later?

Shoto banished his curiosity. He laid the towel on the floor.

And then he stood on it. He said, "I've learned recently that I can take a warm shower anywhere."

"A sh—? _Huh?_ Todoroki, wait."

"Calm down." Shoto rolled his eyes. "I'm not going to get undressed for the demonstration."

"I-I-I-I wasn't thinking you were!"

Shoto simply decided to show him. He formed a giant curl of ice; it started from the floor, and ended up hanging over Shoto's head. The top of it drooped down, in one giant chunk, so the whole sculpture looked like a massive, wilting ice flower.

Or a shower hose and shower head.

"And then I do this," Shoto said.

He lit his left hand with a flame. He held the flame above his head — to just one side of the ice hunk poised and ready up above him. The ice began to melt. It sent a hissing stream of water down on him.

The water trickled into Shoto's hair, and then down and along his neck. The stray drops landed on the towel he'd thrown down, turning it dark.

When he felt the water soak his collar, he stopped. "Hot shower," Shoto said, "anywhere. Even in the middle of something crude like a camping trip."

Midoriya's eyes had made two huge platters. And then he burst into a laugh. He bent over, holding his sides. "T-Todoroki... something like that..."

"What?" asked Shoto as he put out his flame, treating the situation with mock annoyance. "That isn't good enough to put in your Hero notebooks?" He liked it when Midoriya let loose and laughed — his real laugh, not his uncomfortable, weak one.

"I d-don't mean to be rude, but—" Midoriya looked up and caught his breath. "You could have just _told_ me, and I'd have put it in. Now you're all wet for no reason."

Shoto stepped off the towel, which brought him in front of Midoriya. Midoriya straightened, but didn't back up.

Shoto shook drops out of his hair, speckling Midoriya with them. "Only a bit wet. And now slightly less."

He'd expected Midoriya to shriek at the water, and then duck or try to bat the droplets aside. Instead, Midoriya blinked, got himself splashed, and let a few stray drops trickle down his cheek... as he seemed to become stuck looking at Shoto's hair and Shoto's face.

"What is it?" Shoto asked him.

The question made Midoriya glance away. Was he flushing again?

Shoto faltered, noticing it, and stepped a short and safe pace back.

Midoriya said, "It's just— uhm. The colors your hair turns when it's all wet are different than I would have thought. The white side looks more white, or maybe silver, versus kind of turning gray, and the red side loses all its red and looks almost like brown, I guess?" Midoriya looked at Shoto again, and then looked embarrassed by what he had said.

Shoto felt too warm again. He reached with one hand — to sweep the bangs from his forehead, and attempt to think with the familiar gesture. He held the bangs back as he answered, "I never much thought about it."

"R-right," Midoriya said. He dropped his eyes yet again. "I mean, why would you analyze your own hair? M-more relevant, I suppose, is that now there's an ice sculpture in my bedroom..."

Shoto jerked, spun around, and assessed his mistake. " _Tch..._ there is. Midoriya, I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking, beyond seeing if I could make you laugh." He wasn't very good at this, this thing called 'being himself.' Shoto tisked another time.

"Making me...? It's— it's all right. It's not like you can't melt it." Midoriya forced his laugh again.

It made Shoto turn stiff. How could he have messed up this badly, with just one playful show of Quirks?

"I'll just go get a few pots from my mom, and hold them while you melt the ice into them." But Midoriya didn't go. He inhaled shakily. "Todoroki?"

Shoto turned from where he'd been circling his ice structure, planning how to steam it down with the least mess... and trying not to analyze what Midoriya's comments and flustered face meant.

After all, what Shoto was thinking would be far too convenient — wouldn't it?

"Is this the way you really are... or are you only trying to help me cheer up — because even though you came to reassure yourself about me, you're thinking I'm the one who needs reassuring?"

"I don't think I know what you mean."

Was Midoriya admitting to needing more reassurance about the shopping incident after all? If so, then why put on the brave face earlier, regarding Shigaraki Tomura?

Midoriya flushed even worse. "Are you purposely trying to lighten the mood, or is this genuinely _you?_ Are you always like this, when you're relaxed? Doing things like being funny?"

Shoto decided he'd go back and tell All Might 'being yourself' didn't work. He'd never felt more genuinely confused. "I'm not patronizing you, if that's what you mean."

Midoriya pinched the bridge of his nose. "No, that's not what I— never mind."

"I am relaxed right now," Shoto offered. He took a moment to decide how to deconstruct himself further using words, to help Midoriya. "But I'm not like this normally. Or it's only a little, around my mother. The reason I'm so comfortable right now, Midoriya, is because I'm with you." Then he thought what he didn't want to say. _And I was hoping you would feel comfortable, too._

Shoto turned back toward his ice chunk. He hoped that answered the question. He wasn't sure he wanted to explain more... or he might only steam again.

He heard a high-pitched, tiny peep — or something like a stifled groan. When he looked around at Midoriya again, Midoriya had his face in his hands.

"That's not... That's not what I expected you to say at all." Then Midoriya dropped his arms. He walked for his door. He put one hand on the doorknob. "I should— I should go get pots. Pots. How many? Two? Three? Four? Or should I get one, and just keep on emptying it out the window? Maybe I should get more towels, too, in case the..." It went on. Midoriya had started muttering again.

"Are you all right?" Shoto asked him. He didn't completely expect an answer.

Midoriya laughed breathily. "I think so." His eyelids fluttered as he held Shoto's gaze... and seemed to come back to himself from a haze. "It's just, there are more things I've wanted to learn about you. And— and I think I've realized now that you... you actually might _tell_ me."

Shoto's hand stilled on the part of his ice shower he had been touching. "Midoriya. I like talking to you. I don't mind telling you anything. If you want to know about me, then just ask." It was far easier to answer a question than it was for Shoto to think about what details to volunteer himself. And if it was with Midoriya... then Shoto wouldn't mind sharing more conversation than he usually bothered making.

He had long wanted them both acquainted better.

"Oh god. All right. I'll just— I'll be right back. My mom might ask if you'll stay for dinner. It's all right to just tell her no."

Shoto didn't understand Midoriya's seeming distress. He hadn't taken insult earlier to Midoriya's mother's anxiousness, either. "Would it be all right to say yes?"

The door opened quickly. Midoriya seemed to try to hide his face on the opposite side of the doorjamb. He made a tiny sound again. "If that's what you want—"

"I want what you would like."

"Th-then stay a little longer," Midoriya yelped. And at that, he finally fled.

Once Midoriya had gone, Shoto sucked in and let out a long, icy, and cooling breath. But he suspected the goosebumps that formed on his skin weren't only because his body finally replied to the cold he'd been using to prevent further steam leaving him. His body replied now to something else.

Midoriya seemed... flustered by Shoto. But not in any frightened sense. Midoriya had been distracted enough by Shoto's wet appearance to end up flushing. At the very least, Midoriya was curious enough about Shoto's personality that he admitted openly to wanting to get to know Shoto better.

Some portion of their interest in each other was mutual, then.

Shoto didn't hate the realization, despite how much it startled him. In fact, although Shoto wished to be cautious, a significant part of him felt — well. _Thrilled_.

He wasn't sure what anybody would think, if they knew what Endeavor's son was feeling. Or All Might's favorite student, for that matter — never mind what both of them might have begun to feel toward each other. But for those few moments, Shoto didn't care.

Midoriya liked him to some degree. Shoto had read it on Midoriya's face, as easily as he'd been able to tell Uraraka had developed a full-throttle crush on Midoriya. A budding chemistry didn't mean an emotional longing or physical attraction, but Shoto decided he would cherish this. Even if the tiny spark between them ended up going nowhere... it would be worth it, for this one afternoon.

Because right now, Shoto felt like they'd become friends.

Was 'being himself' what had invited this? Had the advice worked after all? Or would this have eventually happened between them regardless of the circumstance? After all, Shoto still felt drawn toward Midoriya like some kind of magnet.

He ought to have been able to celebrate more. Instead, by the time Midoriya came back — with just two pots, it had turned out — Shoto found himself worrying about reality further.

His father might judge him for this, but Shoto had a bigger problem than that.

He didn't know how Bakugo would react.

* * *

 **Author Note:** _At present, with the shopping incident mentioned in this chapter is where the anime leaves off. A new season is coming this spring (and then a movie!), but this is my SPOILER WARNING for any chapters after this. From here, I will be writing along with events that happen in the manga, which is ahead._

 _Also, I might have to turn the rating of this fic eventually from T to M. Would that bother anyone?_


	6. Training Camp

**Author Note:** _If you are caught up with the anime only, this next chapter contains SPOILERS. From this point, I am following the manga events._

 _I was trying to watch only the anime and wait for that. But after finishing season 2, I liked the show so much, I needed to read ahead with the manga. At least that way I can keep writing this story..._

* * *

Training camp. They called this training camp?

Each of Shoto's muscles individually screamed, despite that now he soaked them in hot water. That journey through the woods they'd had to do, tiring out their Quirks to reach the promise of food and rest... That wasn't normal training camp. Mr. Aizawa had just lied again.

Shoto stuck his head under the water of the hot spring bath, holding his breath for as long as he could. He wondered if he felt grouchy because he was exhausted and already hated camp, or if his mood came from his earlier frustration with himself.

On the bus, Shoto had wanted to sit somewhere near Midoriya. But he'd caught sight of Bakugo, who'd stuck up a middle finger, as if to warn Shoto not to interfere... and Midoriya was already positioned near his other friends, anyway.

Shoto had ended up way in the back. He had kept to himself and simply read a book. He supposed he should be glad, at least, that he'd managed to stick close to Midoriya during the mad dash through the woods. It had meant sharing Midoriya with Bakugo and Iida as well, but that couldn't be helped.

They _were_ at camp. It was unlikely Shoto would have time alone again with Midoriya — like they'd had at Midoriya's house. He should get over it. Maybe training camp wouldn't be so bad.

He came up from the water and perched once more upon the warm stones. He let his feet and ankles soak, while water dripped out of his hair.

"It's just hard to believe it. My legs are _still sore."_ Iida raised one calf out of the hot spring, apparently speaking to anyone who cared to listen. "We've been in here now for almost two hours. Do you suppose they chose a camp with a hot springs because they knew they'd be doing this to us?"

"Say, Leg-Engine," muttered Bakugo. Shoto watched Bakugo make bubbles with his mouth on the water's surface. "I always meant to ask — do you become entirely useless, if your Quirk parts are submerged in the water?" Bakugo laughed viciously. "Or what if you take a shower?"

"What about you?" Iida returned stiffly. "If you're in a hot spring, you might still sweat, but can you still make things explode if your sweat mixes with water?"

Bakugo raised a wet hand from the depths. He grinned crookedly. "You annoying extra. Do you wanna find out?"

Shoto shook droplets from his hair and looked toward the building, maintaining his cool. "I bet Midoriya would know, if he hadn't gone inside to help that kid."

There was a silence. It stretched long. Bakugo's face started to twitch.

Bakugo, Iida, and Shoto were the only three people left in the bath. Shoto wondered if Midoriya had brought a data notebook with him to camp. If he had to guess—

" _Oy,_ Half-and-Half." Bakugo stood up from the water.

Shoto wasn't surprised his mention of Midoriya set Bakugo off. He had watched Bakugo a lot today too, not only Midoriya. Shoto couldn't erase All Might's words from his head about Bakugo struggling with something dark — and today he'd decided that darkness must revolve around Midoriya, rather than just cause Bakugo to take frustration out on Midoriya. Shoto had analyzed Bakugo blasting through obstacles all day long... and he'd seen desperation. Competitiveness. Obsession and preoccupation with whatever Midoriya was doing. Even though Shoto didn't necessarily _want_ to understand Bakugo, or pity Bakugo, or care _..._ the more Shoto watched, the more he started to piece Bakugo together, and note things he couldn't ignore.

Shoto's observations reaffirmed the idea that somehow, in some way, Bakugo did care for Midoriya. Or at least, Bakugo thought Midoriya mattered more than any other opponents. Bakugo would do anything to ensure he was better than Midoriya, and that Midoriya knew it. Bakugo seemed to worry about what Midoriya thought of him. Or least, Bakugo wanted to make sure Midoriya thought of him.

It meant that again, Shoto was forced to recognize the way both childhood friends drove each other in complex ways. Shoto had to admit again that no matter how much he wanted Midoriya for himself, he couldn't escape Bakugo's presence, Bakugo's involvement.

The two were a packaged deal.

To his own horror, Shoto thought he was _actually_ beginning to get used to the idea. Bakugo came with Midoriya whether Shoto liked it or not. So finally, today, Shoto had thought, _Maybe I can put up with him from a distance and live with it._

When Shoto glanced over as Bakugo stood, however, he lowered the hand he'd been resting his chin on. Bakugo's body startled him. Shoto hadn't planned to go putting up with _this._

"Don't stand up without warning if your towel isn't still on."

Bakugo didn't seem to care that he was naked. He growled. "You're pissing me off, you know that?!"

Iida exclaimed, "Indecency! Towels must be warn in the bath!"

Bakugo snorted. He hadn't taken his eyes off Shoto. "You're LOOKING, Half-and-Half. Like it?!"

"Is that all you wanted to say to me?" Shoto turned back to look at the camp building, dismissive and, frankly... bored. His muscles really were sore, but he doubted the water would help them much more.

He should go inside. Was there any point in staying here with Bakugo?

"I'VE GOT MORE FOR YOU," Bakugo yelled. "And it's 'Why in the hell would you bring up Deku?!' That shitty nerd finally leaves and takes his insufferable attitude of kindness toward that asshole kid with him, and you go _invoking_ him? What in the hell!"

Iida had a hand on his chin, and to Shoto's surprise, he was nodding. "I also don't understand Midoriya's behavior. That child Kouta struck him in the family jewels."

"AND," Bakugo said, dripping, still bare as the day he'd been born, "WHAT'S WITH YOU ON THIS TRIP, Todoroki?! If you think I haven't noticed that you're almost NICE to me..."

"I'm not nice or un-nice. I don't care about you either way."

" _Say that to my face_ , you scar-eyed, second rate..."

But Bakugo wasn't exactly wrong. Shoto had resolved to keep slightly more aware of Bakugo's feelings and instability. Perhaps it came across as being 'nice,' versus being icy.

When Bakugo had flipped him off on the bus, Shoto had rolled his eyes — instead of ignoring the gesture and moving along in the way he usually would have. Did Bakugo think such acknowledgement was Shoto's form of approval? And was that 'nice?' Was Bakugo half-pleased at this development, half-galled?

Shoto didn't like their new situation. It wasn't easy to navigate. But for Midoriya's sake, and for the sake of keeping Bakugo from going down the wrong path and affecting Midoriya negatively, Shoto would indeed put up with it.

The door of the building opened.

Shoto looked up. "Midoriya."

Bakugo cut his ranting off. His mouth snapped shut. But he didn't bother to duck back into the water. Shoto snorted. No modesty.

Midoriya's eyes found Shoto first, however. Midoriya opened his mouth... but then only stammered. His gaze ran the length of Shoto's body — from the hand brushing back damp hair, down Shoto's bare torso, to where Shoto's feet soaked in the hot spring. Shoto could almost _feel_ the touch of the stare.

He was glad the bath was already steaming.

Then, as if Midoriya realized what he did, he averted his eyes immediately. "Y-you three are still up?" he asked. "I heard that tomorrow we— K-Kacchan!"

Coincidentally, Midoriya's gaze had finally been pulled toward naked Bakugo.

"For the love of All Might, Kacchan! _P-please_ cover yourself back up!" Midoriya's face flared bright red, as he shielded his eyes with both his hands.

Bakugo snorted and still didn't move. " _I_ don't love All Might, nerd — only you do. And if you can't fucking look in my eyes like a man, then don't come back out here. JUST GO TO BED, HUH?!"

Iida whipped the nearest towel at Bakugo's face, hearing that. In the middle of the new verbal explosion it caused, Shoto checked that his own towel would hold. Then he casually stood up.

Midoriya was still whimpering, only half-watching Bakugo yell, writhe, and splash, when Shoto calmly brushed past him. "It's an early day tomorrow, right? That's what you were about to say. In that case, then I'm retiring to bed."

"Ah! T-Todoroki, wait."

Shoto, with his hand on the doorknob, stilled at Midoriya's command.

Midoriya followed him back to the door. "Do you think I could talk to you?"

"Like this?" Shoto kept his voice neutral.

The flush raged again on Midoriya's cheeks. "N-no! I mean, not unless you want to. I mean, not unless you wanted to stay in the bath here. It's just, I wanted to get you alone. I-I mean—"

"QUIT SOUNDING WANTON AGAIN, SHITTY NERD!" Bakugo's rage echoed to the rooftop. "DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE WHEN YOU FLOUNDER ALL AROUND LIKE THAT? I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL _KILL YOU..._ "

"K-Kacchan." Midoriya tried to smile. An anxious drop of sweat daubed his temple.

Shoto turned for the door again, addressing Bakugo before he left. "Be quiet and let the rest of camp get some sleep tonight, Bakugo." To Midoriya, he said, "Meet me outside my room in ten minutes."

Bakugo splashed violently, but the water didn't reach Shoto. "YOU THINK YOU CAN TELL ME WHAT TO DO?! AND FUCKING STAY AWAY FROM DEKU! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO POUND THAT REPEAT ORDER INTO YOUR TWO-COLORED HEAD?!"

As Shoto opened the building door, he couldn't resist a parting shot. Putting up with this... it was too much. "I could boil you alive in that water like a lobster, but I haven't. Do as you're told... or I might change my mind before your bath is through."

To the sound of Bakugo's ear-piercing screams, Iida's admonishments, and Midoriya's nervous yelps, Shoto retreated for his room.

This wasn't a normal training camp trip at all.

Shoto was towel-drying his hair when Midoriya came to knock. Shoto opened the door, clad in his yukata... and when Midoriya looked at him, Midoriya froze.

"Your hair is still damp," Midoriya whispered.

"And this is the second time you've needed to point out when I'm wet." Shoto pretended not to notice Midoriya's _meep_ of reaction, as he tossed the hand towel down onto his bed. "What did you need to talk about?" He wondered if Midoriya had more questions that would help them get to know each other.

"O-oh. Right. Do... do you think you could go outside with me?"

Midoriya didn't want anyone else to overhear them.

Shoto followed Midoriya outside and into the trees. They sat beside each other on a rock, a ways away from the building. The moon above them gazed down like a silver eye. Shoto didn't mind that the moon was watching. Bathing under its light felt peaceful, somehow.

The breeze helped to dry Shoto's hair.

"You've been a little bit different, lately."

Shoto breathed out audibly from his nose. "I've been different since my fight with you." Did Midoriya still really not know that?

Midoriya glanced at him, playing with the moss on their rock. "No, I mean since you came to my house. Or maybe mostly this past day, here at camp. You really gave it your all, fighting through the woods out there today."

"I always give my fights my all."

"Except when you don't, and you put your flames out during the moment you could win. Or you make me have to _tell_ you to give it your all, after breaking my fingers on you first."

Shoto looked down at Midoriya, surprised. The tone had been aggressive enough to make Shoto realize how serious Midoriya was. But Midoriya's wry grin said he hadn't meant to sound like he scolded Shoto for the past.

"Recently, you've seemed hesitant to act around me whenever Kacchan is involved," Midoriya said. "And I could tell how Kacchan grated on you. But today, while we were all out there... you didn't let what either of us was doing hinder your own movements or tactics. You fought really brilliantly."

"I wanted lunch," Shoto stated.

Midoriya chuckled. Shoto loved the sound. But Shoto kept his face expressionless.

"In any case," Midoriya replied, "I guess I'm saying I've noticed that you're starting to accept Kacchan. You're not so fixated now on the relationship we have. It's even been a while since you've brought Kacchan up to me in conversation. I'm relieved."

Shoto kept quiet a long time. They hadn't had much conversation since the other day, at Midoriya's house. The wind moved branches in the trees. A cloud half-covered up the moon.

After a while, Shoto said, "You're wrong. I'm still a mess, Midoriya, when it comes to the two of you." He felt like he should tell the truth. He had never gained anything by neglecting to admit when there were things he debated with himself. "It's just that I've learned to hold back, for the sake of not upsetting you. And because it's the right thing to do in general. Bakugo is a mess as well... and it wouldn't be helpful for me to butt in and make it worse."

Midoriya flinched. His face fell. After a moment, he said, "I see. So that's it. So it does still bother you, about what Kacchan is to me. Why, Todoroki?"

Shoto waited for Midoriya to meet his gaze. "Do you really not know, by now?"

Midoriya swallowed and looked away. Shoto wanted to grab him by the shoulders and shake him. Or maybe—

"I have to be honest about something." Midoriya looked at the woods. "Todoroki... at one time, I had feelings for Kacchan. Feelings of _that_ kind. I... I wanted him."

Shoto raked back his hair. He looked at the moon. Then he closed his eyes and imagined its light was calming him. "I know. And you still have them, even now. Even though he's such a jerk to you... right?"

That Midoriya didn't answer immediately made Shoto feel cold. He knew already. He'd suspected. He knew. But—

"The truth is, I don't really know." Midoriya toyed with the rock moss some more, the answer he gave sounding sad. Shoto watched him, unwilling to feel hope. "I think Kacchan is really cool. He's only gotten more cool, and stronger, in all the years we weren't getting along. And when he stops hollering and taking swings, I... I can't help but find he's good-looking." Midoriya almost squeaked the last part.

"Disagree," Shoto muttered. "He has 'resting bitch face.' Bad case."

Midoriya scowled. "Did I ask you?"

"You didn't. But it's still true." Shoto looked innocently up at the moon.

"In any case," Midoriya said. "It never came to anything before, when I was feeling it. We were mostly still just kids. What I wanted to do with him was hug. Hold hands. Cuddle and just do... gentle things."

"Gentle's not Bakugo at all."

"I know that." Midoriya laughed wryly. This time the sound made Shoto want to pat him on his bushy hair. "And maybe it's never been, and I've been too dumb to see it. He always calls me useless, doesn't he? The point is, I was naive then, so the idea was easier to handle. But now, I can't deny that Kacchan's changed, and only gotten worse with age. He hates me. Or acts like he does. So even if I wanted to be with him, in a deeper sense, right here, right now..."

When Midoriya trailed off, Shoto felt compelled to say something. "You wouldn't. Or you're not sure, because you've cultivated more control and more basic self-respect than that." _Please agree and tell me that's not wrong._

A moment passed. Then Midoriya said, "Yeah."

Shoto sighed, sagging in relief, hoping Midoriya didn't notice him do it.

"It's just too hard to try to get along. After a while of taking abuse from someone you only want affection from, it starts to break you down inside. I want to try. I really do. I don't want to lose Kacchan entirely. But now I'm worried, because what if it's _me_ who starts hating _him_ most, before all of this is through?" Midoriya looked at his hands.

Shoto straightened and spoke seriously. "No matter how frustrated he makes you, don't ever worry that your upset feelings aren't justified, or that you're not allowed to experience them. Go ahead and feel whatever you need to feel, Midoriya. Trust your heart over what people make you think about morality at this point." It was what All Might had advised _him._ Shoto paused. "Even if your heart decides you still want him."

"But then, if I start resenting Kacchan too much, and I eventually give up trying with him—"

"You aren't the type to give up, if you really do want something. And you'll never hurt Bakugo, or become the Villain yourself. Bakugo is too resilient to let you leave marks on him. And you are made of too much light to bring the darkness out in anyone." Midoriya was like the moon. Pure and lovely, and when weather was clear, incapable of making anybody feel lost or hopeless.

Shoto could not say the same about himself. He could absolutely not say the same about Bakugo.

Midoriya seemed to contemplate quietly. Shoto sat still, with his hands on his yukata, until at last Midoriya looked up at him. "Todoroki. Do you like me?"

Shoto wet his lips. Then he let out a breath. "Yeah."

"Y-you—! Like that, admitting it so easily?!" Midoriya slipped halfway off the rock in his haste to pull away, dissolving in his nervous laugh.

Shoto caught Midoriya by his sleeve, so he wouldn't fall all the way. He let go once Midoriya stabilized. "I'm sorry if it bothers you. I didn't intend to let you know it. But you asked... and I've previously said I would tell anything to you."

"I-I get it, but..." Midoriya couldn't meet Shoto's eyes. His gaze kept flickering to different parts of Shoto's body. Shoto's profile. Shoto's hands. The space of skin visible from where the yukata crossed loosely at his chest.

Shoto kept his own eyes forward, feeling the warmth of Midoriya's stare. If his body gave off steam out here, would Midoriya notice it? "I'm about to ask you a sensitive question."

Midoriya stammered. "Y-yes?"

"On a scale of one to ten, what was my rating in the bath, versus Bakugo's naked body?"

"Todoroki!" Midoriya screeched. Midoriya drew up his knees and immediately hid his face in them.

Shoto used the moment to smile, where Midoriya couldn't see. Then, while he had freedom without being looked at, he climbed up off the rock and moved around.

When Shoto spoke again, he was kneeling near Midoriya's legs, his yukata soaking up the chilly ground. "Midoriya, let me promise you something."

Midoriya looked up. He yelped to find Shoto facing him.

Shoto didn't waver at all. "This doesn't have to change anything. I don't expect you to return my feelings. And if you ever decide to... I'm never going to rush you into what you aren't ready to do. It's not just that I want to be the opposite of Bakugo. It's that, from the beginning, what I wanted most was to protect you." Then Shoto looked aside and wet his lips. "You've helped me more than you know. With my Quirk, my family relationships, everything. It's a debt I might never be able to repay. At the very least, however, I want to try. It comes even before romantic feelings. I don't want you to see me as a threat. So what I'll be most happy with is if you'll just consider us good friends."

Midoriya looked pink in the moonlight. His lips parted. He seemed to be breathing slightly fast. "Are— are you using your heat on me?"

"I'm not. I think you're just blushing. It's fine if I have that effect on you without my Quirk," Shoto told him.

"Stop joking so much!" Midoriya wailed.

Shoto stood up again. "If you really want it, I'll stop teasing you. I mean it, Midoriya. You are worth treating with every kindness... even if I have ulterior motives. I don't mind just burying them for now. Or forever, if I have to." _I can hold back, if it's for you._ Shoto enjoyed making Midoriya flustered, but he would stop if he had to.

He would rather do whatever was necessary to keep Midoriya within arm's reach.

"God. Why do you have to be so perfectly polite?" Midoriya finally groaned. "Uraraka would tell me you're perfect boyfriend material. Ah, girls always know these things! And they're so cool! They have a sense for situations like this, how to read the mood— and they hardly ever give the wrong advice! If I could be more like that... How did I end up getting mixed up with Kacchan?" Midoriya dropped into muttering the rest, as if Shoto's feelings were the end of the world.

Shoto had moved a step away, tucking his hands into his sleeves and staring once more at the moon. "Go to bed, Midoriya." Shoto hadn't wanted to cause such distress.

"How can I ever sleep again? Wh-wh-what will I tell All Might, next time he asks me how I'm getting along?! What if I start feeling guilty about you? I-if you like me, and I just so thoughtlessly go around you, normally, as if there's nothing—"

Shoto interrupted. "First of all, my feelings aren't your concern — more so if you don't return them. They don't exist so they can pressure you. Second of all, don't underestimate me. If I tell you it won't be a problem, it won't. We're friends first, aren't we?" Shoto's heart thudded when he asked. Midoriya still hadn't told Shoto whether he considered them friends.

"T-Todoroki... Yes. Yes, we are."

The relief washed him. Shoto felt two times lighter. "Go to bed," he said. "Tomorrow will be a long day."

Midoriya got up. "I just... All right. Okay. Sleep well?" His face still resembled a beet. "Thank you?"

Shoto grinned as they both parted. "I will. You too. And you're welcome."


	7. Plan For Rescue

Shoto's entire body shook from fatigue, pain, and disbelief. The warp gate had disappeared — just centimeters from his outstretched hand. They had only saved one of two captured students.

Bakugo was taken. Gone.

And all that remained was Midoriya's screams.

"KACCHAN! Kacchan! Give him back..."

Midoriya's broken body sagged; he'd ruined himself again so he could fight. But _still_ Midoriya tried to crawl toward where Bakugo had disappeared.

After a moment, Midoriya's body convulsed, as if it would agree to move no more. His face fell against the ragged earth when his arms collapsed under him.

Shoto tasted bile in the back of his throat, watching it. Would Midoriya be able to maintain his consciousness like that? The damage looked worse than anything Midoriya had put himself through before.

Now there were only sobs coming from Midoriya's crumpled form. The other students looked on, too — too shocked to interrupt the display of helplessness. Shoto fisted his hand — the hand that had been _so close_ to closing around Bakugo and yanking Bakugo back to safety.

Then Shoto looked away from everything; he closed his eyes for a moment. He couldn't bear to witness Midoriya's pain any more. How could their time at training camp have morphed into this hellish nightmare?

Tokoyami had perception enough to watch Shoto's face and read the mood. "Todoroki," he murmured through his beak. It made Shoto open his eyes again. Tokoyami's black feathers were still ruffled from his battle with Dark Shadow... and his own ordeal with the Villains. "You tried. There was nothing you could do."

Shoto thought, _Easy for you to say. You weren't the one that got successfully kidnapped._

The sound of a hissed breath — and more tears — cut any further reassurances from Tokoyami off. "Kacchan..."

Shoto doubted Midoriya's fit would end, as long as Midoriya had a shred of energy to spend on it.

Suddenly, that made Shoto angry.

Midoriya's heartbroken wails shredded Shoto apart. Tokoyami's sympathy unraveled him as well, until Shoto felt like a pile of thin threads that couldn't be woven together again. But what good did crying about it do? What good were empty reassurances? The fact of the matter was that _Shoto had let Bakugo slip away —_ even though he'd genuinely, desperately tried to prevent doing so.

No amount of lip service would change that Shoto had failed _._ Or that Midoriya was a mess. Midoriya couldn't stop wailing and roaring— and Shoto understood why. But rather than cry about it, rather than mourn... Shouldn't they all be doing something?

Shoto should be accepting blame. Taking responsibility. And someone who _wasn't_ Shoto — someone who hadn't just let Midoriya's childhood friend slip away — should be breaking through Midoriya's untouchable and pure upset, to get Midoriya to calm down.

But no one was moving. Shoto realized they must all be in shock. Maybe he himself was in shock. His body was still trembling.

He'd failed.

He'd _known_ how imperative it was to protect Bakugo for Midoriya's sake. He'd known he couldn't let the Villains spirit Bakugo away, to poison Bakugo's already-unstable mind and make Bakugo into one of their own. Hadn't All Might _warned_ Shoto that Bakugo fought with his inner darkness? Being taken by Villains surely wouldn't help Bakugo's light win in the end.

Some sane, rational piece of Shoto's mind told him that responsibility for Bakugo's loss didn't belong to him alone. There were multiple students present, multiple people who'd attempted to persevere and avert this disaster. But that part of Shoto's sane mind went ignored — for the piece that told him he'd carried the most responsibility, because he had the most power, and the most impressive Quirk of all the students. Who should have prevented this disaster if not him? Shoto had shut off his emotions and biases, and fought his best — but _still_ he'd failed. How could that be acceptable?

The failure made Shoto hate himself. And then grow even more angry that nobody was reacting. Didn't they know how bad this situation was, even if the Villains had retreated? Nothing, now, was safe — nothing — and even less so, until they had Bakugo back. Didn't the other students realize none of this was yet over?

Midoriya choked on his sobs again.

"Midoriya," Shoto said suddenly. "Stop."

His voice was glacier hard and cold, but inside... he was just tired. His body seemed to burn from its blood so his skin felt hot to the touch. He felt weak from the exertion he'd exhibited, and his head spun. But it appeared that Shoto was the only one with mind and presence enough to take action.

Tokoyami winced, however, when Shoto spoke out to Midoriya. He murmured, "Now is the time for calm and delicacy, Todoroki. Let him—"

Shoto took a step. Nobody interfered; Tokoyami's beak clicked shut.

Another step put Shoto right beside Midoriya's hunched form.

At that point, Shoto's knees gave out. In the cold dark, he sank, leaning his weight forward onto his hands; he hardly felt it when the rocky forest ground tried to cut into his palms. He hung his head.

His voice shook. "I'm sorry, Midoriya. I'm sorry."

The wind around them almost hissed. Midoriya squeezed his eyes shut harder, sobbed again, and only sniffed.

Shoto said, "We almost did enough, but at the very last second... you lost him because of me."

When Aoyama chose to speak, Shoto blinked back mild surprise. "But didn't you hear what Bakugo said at the last moment? I think he almost preferred to be lost. And I wonder, if you'd grabbed hold of him... Well, would he have even let you pull him back? I think he's the type to want to escape by himself, without the help." When Shoto glanced up, a few of the other students were nodding.

Escape by himself? The possibility of Bakugo preferring to take on the Villains alone didn't make Shoto feel better. That Bakugo had seemed almost _excited_ to be sucked into the warp hole... It could have just been Bakugo's brave face, and a dash of his arrogance; maybe Bakugo looked forward to giving the Villains back the trouble they'd given him, yes. But more likely, Bakugo's thrill in the face of Villains was the worst sign possible in terms of how this would turn out.

Tokoyami finally acted. "We need to get Midoriya's injuries treated, but it doesn't look like we should move him without knowing the extent of the damage." Tokoyami started ordering people to run for help, to do something, to move.

If Midoriya had heard Shoto's previous words, or if he heard them now under the sudden bustle of his classmates, then he didn't say anything. He only kept on with his long, wavering sobs.

"Stop crying, Midoriya," Shoto implored. He tried to curb his hopelessness and frustration long enough to make steady words. If Midoriya didn't stop wailing, Shoto knew he would break apart. "It won't do anything right now. If you're upset that Kacchan's gone... then take your anger out on me. Or let me help you with the pain, while you wait for a medic to get here." Shoto swallowed, desperate. Was there anything Midoriya would let him do?

Shoto would have done anything to lessen Midoriya's hurt. But he wasn't prepared for the reply he got.

"How c-can I... even look at you right now?" Midoriya choked it out, whispering it. "How can I? Never mind think about you, when at a time like this, when there's so much for me to figure out about the ways that I love him... Kacchan has been _taken from me?"_

* * *

Shoto felt like he traversed a fog world, never quite making out details through the whiteness, never feeling anything but coldness and damp.

Days. _Days_ , Midoriya had been inside the hospital, drifting in and out of consciousness and fever — even after treatment from Recovery Girl. Shoto had begun to wonder if people with Quirks who wanted to be Heroes lived more in hospital rooms than they did inside their own homes. He was starting to lose track of how many times he'd seen Midoriya sprawled out on a bed — and not the kind of bed Shoto would have rather seen Midoriya sprawled on, before all this had happened. Before, when Shoto had been able to afford frivolous daydreams.

And so Midoriya was here. Again. In another white, starchy hospital bed. And every time, Shoto couldn't prevent it.

Part of Shoto knew he couldn't keep Midoriya from destroying himself no matter what tactics he tried. But still, Shoto felt he might have lessened Midoriya's _need_ to destroy himself if he'd worked harder. If Shoto had pushed himself more, perhaps Midoriya never would have ended up in a position where he was _desperate_ enough to ruin his body.

"He just busts in without thinking and smashes everything in his way, doesn't he?" Kirishima sighed when he asked it. He stood next to Shoto in the lobby, his hands stuffed inside his pockets.

They had met there, in the hospital lobby, and Shoto had expressed surprise at seeing Kirishima had popped in. Shoto hoped it didn't look weird that he was visiting Midoriya _again_... although, he supposed he'd gone to visit Yaoyorozu, too.

Shoto answered Kirishima quietly. "He _does_ think. He calculates his every move. That's the problem." His voice stayed monotone and low. "He assesses the situation, and he decides he needs to go beyond his limits. He decides the damage to himself is worth it, if it means protecting people he cares about."

But it was naive. Shoto scowled, bitter. Midoriya's selflessness and recklessness accomplished feats, yet those traits were exactly why Midoriya needed someone who could protect _him._ Midoriya needed someone to remind him to take care — because harming himself had consequences outside his own injuries and his amazing achievements.

Not everyone would thank Midoriya for destroying his own body for the cause.

Shoto had run into Midoriya's mother earlier, back in the hospital halls. The sniffling woman had hugged Shoto and sobbed into his shoulder. Shoto had awkwardly patted her, too stricken by her emotion to feel pleased that she'd acknowledged him as an ally and friend of her son this time around.

 _You're not just hurting yourself like this, Midoriya,_ Shoto had realized again.

"But this time," Kirishima said, "he couldn't save the person he likes most. Man, it's rough. You have to feel bad for him." While Shoto said nothing, Kirishima squinted his eyes in a laugh, then reached one hand up to scratch his spiky hair.

Shoto tried not to let Kirishima's reference to Bakugo poke holes in the veneer of his control. "Tell me," Shoto said, "why you're really here. It's not just thanks to restlessness that you came back to the hospital again, is it."

"What, I can't visit my injured classmates, while everyone else tries to figure out what they're supposed to be doing at a time like this?" Kirishima blinked innocently at him.

"You're not the type to brave your dislike of this kind of setting just to comfort people you could easily express concern for _after_ they've left the hospital."

"Damn. That's a cold read of my personality I don't think you had grounds for. I'm not that selfish and scared to be here. But I guess you aren't wrong that hospitals make me uncomfortable. I end up thinking too much of mortality." Kirishima lowered his arm slowly, and the grin that he usually wore faded off. "Do you always read people hyper-critically like that, or did I somehow piss you off?" Shoto didn't answer him. Kirishima only shrugged. "All right. I do have a reason for coming again today. I'll tell you. But you tell _me_ something, first, then."

Shoto showed no expression while he waited.

"What made you exert yourself out there to rescue Bakugo? Like, _man —_ I thought you didn't care about him one way or the other. But then the next thing we all hear, you're just as upset as Midoriya that Villains took him to their lair."

So Kirishima was more perceptive than Shoto had realized. Should Shoto tell Kirishima the truth?

It might be better to avoid answering the question entirely.

Kirishima had been watching Shoto's face. "You're pretty scary looking when you feel cornered. It's fine — I think I can guess. You went all out for Midoriya, right?" Shoto bit the inside of his lip. "Because you knew that _Midoriya_ was concerned for Bakugo. Otherwise, you might not have strained yourself." When Shoto looked away, Kirishima sniffed, wiped his nose, and grinned again. "I get it. In fact, I get it perfectly." And at that, Kirishima laughed.

"What do you mean?" Shoto finally asked. He tried not to hold himself tense.

Kirishima stretched his arms casually, then looked at the lobby ceiling. "I'm saying I get doing things you might not like in principle, for the sake of trying to look out for a friend. I'm saying I get how hard it is to deal with the relationship between Midoriya and Bakugo. Being the third wheel sucks hard, doesn't it?"

Shoto moved a half-step backward. "Kirishima," he said, "are you accusing me of having feelings for Midoriya, or are you saying you also care for him?"

A couple of people passed in the lobby. Shoto watched Kirishima's expression change to something like consternation.

" _Dude_ ," Kirishima uttered. "Everyone knows you've taken an interest in Midoriya. And nobody wants to battle you for the position of Midoriya's sidekick — promise. Come on, man. I'm concerned with Bakugo. Bakugo."

Shoto didn't understand. "You're worried about Bakugo?"

"Of course I'm worried!" Kirishima's voice rose. "These past days, it's so bad I can't even sleep. I feel like I've chugged too much coffee, _and_ a hive of bees now lives in my head."

"You care about Bakugo. In the way Midoriya cares for him?" Shoto tried to keep meaning vague. There were a lot of ways to care. Shoto didn't know what to think, or how to read Kirishima that moment.

Kirishima immediately looked grim. "Well. As for comparing what I feel to what Midoriya must be feeling right now, with Bakugo still gone... I can't say which of us cares more. Frankly — and maybe you can understand this — I'm not sure that I want to know. In some cases, no matter what I do, there might be no comparison. You know?" Kirishima's smile faltered. "That's what happens when you come in second, because you don't share their childhood history."

Shoto's eyes widened. He stared. He fought the unease Kirishima's words awakened in his gut — that feeling that no matter what he did, he'd never be enough to replace or surpass what Bakugo was to Midoriya.

Then it finally clicked in his head. Kirishima... was the same as him. The only difference was that Kirishima came from the other side of the equation. "You've also found it hard to come between Midoriya and Bakugo?" Shoto asked. Kirishima wanted to be closer to Bakugo, but found he couldn't get near?

"Come between?" Kirishima shook his head. "Hey, I don't know what _you're_ thinking. Sounds like sensitive and jealous boyfriend stuff. That isn't me." Kirishima cleared his throat. "Or maybe it would be, but it's just that I know I would never stand a chance, even if I _did_ want to butt in and assert myself in that fashion. But, do I like Bakugo? Yeah. I do. And as I bet you can imagine, liking that guy is a pain — mostly thanks to Midoriya always messing with Bakugo's head and temper..."

Shoto ignored the stab at Midoriya. After all, who was to blame when Midoriya and Bakugo argued was a matter of perspective, in this case.

Shoto became fascinated, despite the drop in his gut that served as his reminder that right now, Midoriya's feelings weren't for him. He said, "It's like, when dealing with the two of them, you have to swallow the pill that no one else comes first for them but each other — even despite how poorly they get along. It makes even regular friendship with one of them an almost insurmountable and incredibly irritating challenge." Shoto kept a hand upon his chin. He almost muttered now, like Midoriya.

Somehow, it was a relief to know someone else understood. Kirishima dealt with the same frustrations Shoto did.

"Pretty much," Kirishima said. "So even though I'm a little bit mad at Midoriya, and kind of mad at you—" Shoto grimaced. "—for not being able to save Bakugo, and mad at myself, for not being there to protect him... I still couldn't help coming here, to do stuff like check on Midoriya. It's what Bakugo would want."

"Bakugo would want it?" Shoto asked.

"Yeah. Come on. Don't tell me you don't always hear. Bakugo's always yelling about how the only one allowed to clobber Midoriya is him. Pains in the asses — both of them. Heh, what I wouldn't give to have been childhood friends with Bakugo instead. Then maybe his personality wouldn't have ended up so out of hand."

Kirishima's grin looked so soft that Shoto lost his train of thought. Did _he_ look like that, himself, when he thought fondly about Midoriya?

"But it's a bit late for that talk," Kirishima was saying, "so now I just do what I can. And I kind of still respect Midoriya despite myself, I guess. That's why..." Kirishima trailed off, then seemed to shake himself and reassess. "Come here. Lean in. I have an idea. That's why I came back to the hospital."

Shoto hesitated. And then he leaned in.

Kirishima flung a loose arm around him, speaking into Shoto's ear. "The teachers are here. I sort of followed them. I have a feeling that if we listen in on them, we might learn something that will help with a plan. A plan to set this whole thing straight and cheer up both our guys, you know?"

"What kind of plan?" Shoto murmured.

The reality was that Shoto was on a hit lit list now, thanks to the League of Villains. They all wanted him dead, which meant that Shoto could very well die if he further instigated them. If he was too reckless... what then?

"A plan for somehow getting Bakugo back."

Shoto stilled. Rescuing Bakugo? For real this time, assuming they didn't fail.

Even though Shoto disliked the way Bakugo treated Midoriya... If they saved Bakugo, Midoriya would smile. Maybe Midoriya would tell Shoto at last that the kidnapping hadn't been Shoto's fault.

Maybe Midoriya would forgive him. Or maybe Shoto could forgive himself.

At the very least, rescuing Bakugo before Villains could turn him into one of them... That was what a Hero would do. That was worth the bigger risk.

Kirishima waited. "You in? I'll probably ask Midoriya to help out, too."

Shoto pulled away at once. "Midoriya is in no condition to sign up for a rescue." The idea of it alone frightened Shoto. Already, thanks to his previous battle, Midoriya might never move his arms again.

"Yeah, but Todoroki," Kirishima said, "are you the one who gets to decide what Midoriya does with his pain and frustration... or is he?"

Shoto just bit his lip.

Kirishima was right.

"Fine," he said. "Explain your plan."

* * *

 **Author Note:** _Todoroki's face in that panel in the manga where he juuuust fails to grab hold of Bakugo, and the Villain taunts him about it right before Bakugo disappears... oh man. That face was what created this chapter._


	8. Cry It Out, Midoriya

_**Author Note:**_ _Happy Boxing Day. Have some cuteness.  
_

* * *

The phone rang for a long, long time before Midoriya picked up. When he did pick up, Shoto didn't waste time. "Are you free tonight, Midoriya?" Shoto asked.

He could hear Midoriya's sharp intake of breath. "R-right now? After everything..." Midoriya's voice sounded thick, almost as if he had a cold. But Shoto supposed Midoriya had been crying just before he had picked up.

And after seeing All Might's fight with All For One, Shoto couldn't blame him.

The Symbol of Peace was no more — done for, despite that All Might had survived. Or that was what Shoto deduced, at least, after pouring over the fight again after the fact, and taking in the headlines and the TV spots across the news. Midoriya's upset only proved what he'd deduced — and feared.

Now that All Might's lesser form had been revealed before the world, things wouldn't be the same again. Evil was going to close in... and Midoriya had lost the vision of his Hero as a wall that no Villain could get across.

Shoto had called because he knew Midoriya was not all right.

"I'm sorry if you were resting. I wanted to know if we could meet somewhere."

Shoto, Midoriya, and the others had been through more recently than any UA student at their age had likely been through before — and after dropping Bakugo off with the police for his briefing, and seeing All For One locked away, the smart thing would have been to recover. But Shoto had a feeling that if he left Midoriya to himself right now, Midoriya _wouldn't_ recover — at least not in a way that would minimize scars — and Shoto would miss his opportunity to do something to help for once. It wasn't just physical challenges Midoriya had faced today. Midoriya had taken wounds to his heart. Shoto could not forget Midoriya's closeness to Bakugo, but in addition to that deep-seated relationship was another that had established itself around the same time, and lasted just as long.

Midoriya loved All Might. The Hero was Midoriya's soft spot. To get Bakugo back, only to lose instead — at least in a sense — something else Midoriya had admired... Shoto couldn't imagine what pain Midoriya must be in, after having seen his Hero prevail in a manner that somehow still ripped safety and comfort to shreds.

Shoto wanted to be there to pick up Midoriya's pieces, if Midoriya would let him.

"M-my mother doesn't think it's safe to spend too much time outside, yet," came Midoriya's response. "I... I ran out already, just before dinner, to the beach... and she's already mad about that."

"I'll come to your place," Shoto pressed.

The sigh of Midoriya's breath in his ear almost made him drop the phone, next. Shoto shook his head and told himself there was no room for his desire to manifest tonight, right now, while there was so much else at stake. He sucked in his own breath and let it out.

"Whatever you need, can't you say it here?" Midoriya finally sniffed.

Shoto turned grim. By phone wasn't enough. He ran a hand back through his hair. So this was how it would be?

He'd have to show his own vulnerability then, to succeed.

He said, "In truth, Midoriya, I need an excuse to get out of my house."

He chose a casual tone when he revealed his situation, versus one that made him sound as if he reached out too much for help. If Shoto came across as helpless, Midoriya would only feel guilted into complying to Shoto's demands, to take the burden off Shoto. And tonight it was _Shoto's_ turn to make somebody feel better.

Midoriya cleared his throat, and his voice changed a bit. "What's wrong? Has something happened at your house that you need to get away from?"

"My father." Shoto shut his eyes. He paused more, to control his tone.

His father had been on a rampage across the house all day... and now at night. Shoto didn't know what he intended to do about the man's attitude yet — how he intended to react, what information he'd choose to take from witnessing his father's outraged displays. For now, Endeavor was too much, and Shoto only wanted to forget him. But Shoto could dig into the wounds again casually, strategically, right now, long enough to see if mention of them might make Midoriya relent.

"My father isn't taking the result of All Might's battle well. He can tell what it really means. Endeavor became a Hero always looking at All Might's back from behind, yet now that All Might has fallen apart, the burden of being number one Hero will fall to him, for the first time. My father... he's always wanted to be first. But not getting to beat All Might to the position for himself... I'm sure you can imagine just how truly angry it makes him that All For One destroyed any real chance for the rivalry to resolve itself, and for him to win the responsibility he's always wanted to prove he's worthy of." Shoto kept his voice clipped and emotionless.

Midoriya was silent for a time. Then he gave a short, dry laugh that sounded like it covered up panic. "Endeavor got what he wanted... but not how. Even Pro Heroes are falling apart emotionally at a time like this? Todoroki... I didn't realize. He's not taking it out on you, is he?"

Too much worry and guilt caused after all, Shoto realized. He'd made himself sound too much like a victim that needed saving, instead of like a peer simply asking Midoriya to give him a distraction from an annoying but harmless home situation. "I've been fine," Shoto replied. "But I would like to leave here for a time, so I can have a little quiet, to mull over everything that's happened." Let Midoriya think Shoto wanted to process their recents events, nothing more. Anything, so long as Shoto didn't increase Midoriya's sense of burden.

Shoto didn't need Midoriya to go out of his way to comfort him anyway, when _Midoriya_ needed comfort more. And besides. Shoto would be comforted greatly about the situation at his house with very little effort, in the end. Just seeing Midoriya's face would be enough — just being able to remind himself why he still dealt with Endeavor in the first place.

Midoriya said, "O-okay, come over. There's a really small park just at the corner of my building here, in back. I'll meet you at my window, and I can go out that way. So my mother doesn't see."

Shoto gripped the phone harder. His eyes went wide. "In that kind of fashion? Will that be okay?" Shoto liked Midoriya's mother, and he thought the good feelings were returned by now. If he became a party to Midoriya's upsetting her...

"My mother's been in a strange mood. She's been levitating random objects all day. I think I've worried her too much. I don't want to give her a reason to become more upset."

Midoriya's mother had a levitating Quirk? "I see." At least she couldn't truly hurt her son if she lost her temper. Not that Endeavor had ever become badly physically violent with his children. Physical violence against his offspring was why Endeavor had made sure Shoto's _mother_ got locked away.

"Wait for me," Shoto uttered, his mouth dry. He realized belatedly he'd touched the scar around his eye.

He hung up. Shoto grabbed his keys, his wallet, and tucked the items with his phone in his pockets.

When he went to put on his shoes, his sister heard him walking by. "Is it really okay to go somewhere this late? D-Dad, if he finds out, won't he...?"

"Tell him to forget my affairs and figure out his own."

"Shoto!"

But Shoto left without a sound.

When he reached Midoriya's building, he went around the back, as he'd been told. Midoriya was already at his bedroom window, leaning out.

Shoto stopped, his breath in his throat. Leaning out so recklessly like that, his hair stirred by the breeze—

"You make too easy a target that way, for anybody with a Quirk that lets them travel through the air."

Midoriya jumped, and then looked down, down from the height of the three or so stories. "Coming from the direction you did, I almost didn't notice you. When I can't see the side with your white hair in the dark, you blend in a lot better."

Shoto stopped under the window, simply looking up at him. The bandages all over Midoriya gleamed white in the darkness, too. "How are you planning to get down from there?"

"Er." Midoriya straightened against the sill. "Well—"

Shoto was already forming a tall, gentle curve of ice — after making sure no one was near to watch him.

Midoriya put one foot out the window. His red shoe found the ice path carefully, while he laughed an embarrassed, "Thanks." Then, two steps or so down, he slipped, and slid on his bottom most of the way down. He skidded on the pavement. "O-ow..."

Shoto already had his hand extended by the time Midoriya looked up.

Midoriya took Shoto's hand, and Shoto gingerly pulled him up. Then Shoto melted his ice path with a blast of steam from his left hand.

"Watering the shrubs for the landscapers, I guess," Midoriya said. He looked... tired. "There's a bench just over here."

It was a tiny park indeed. Just a bench and a short, brick walkway, and some neatly blooming shrubberies arranged all under one street light. But the corner was quiet. And private. Something Shoto had wanted.

Shoto didn't wait. "Midoriya."

Midoriya turned to him; his smile appeared falsely bright. Shoto grabbed him by the shoulder — and drew him into an embrace.

There was struggle. "Todoroki—!"

"If you push me away hard enough, then I'll stop. I'm not trying to be romantic, or make you uncomfortable. This is... just something I learned people need sometimes. I thought now you might need it."

"A... a hug?!"

Shoto kept the hug loose and casual. "All Might hugged me," he murmured, "after I won second place at the school festival. It took me a while to realize it, but... that gesture meant more than the medal he hung around my neck. That was an unsteady time for me, and something this simple... It helped."

All Might had known for a long time that affection could be as powerful at rescuing people as a punch in their defense, or as hauling them out of a fire. Shoto was done ignoring the solutions his father called pointless or weak.

The least Shoto could do was this.

Midoriya didn't move. His body was so small and warm. A whisper left him. "All Might is..." Shoto had made him remember their problem.

"Midoriya," Shoto said, "I have you now, so just cry. That's what I came here for, tonight. What else are friends for, if not this?"

He could feel Midoriya shake. "Wh-what? What are you saying? I—"

"Last time you wanted to scream and cry, when the Villains took Kacchan, I made a mistake. I told you you should stop crying." Shoto saw again Midoriya wailing, broken, on the ground in the wake of losing Bakugo. "I'm taking it back. I'm here for you. There's no need to hold back this time. You could cry for the whole night, and it might never be enough. Not considering what we've been through. Everyone tells you not to be a crybaby, so I'm here to tell you the opposite. Let it out."

 _And I'll stand firmly next to you, so that you don't have to go through it alone._

"Go ahead and make it loud, even. Your mother won't hear you and worry from here. I wore my high thread count jacket to help muffle the sound."

For a long time, there was nothing. Just the tension of Midoriya's shoulders, his closeness, and the atmosphere of the tiny park. Crickets chirping. Moths swarming under the light. But then Shoto felt Midoriya give.

He heard the first sob. "Todoroki. A-All Might is..."

Shoto felt incredible relief. Midoriya wouldn't internalize this... and that meant maybe he would heal. Midoriya would cry it out in the safety of his embrace.

"You don't have to tell me," Shoto whispered into Midoriya's green hair, relieved more than he had words for. "You don't have to explain what made you so much more upset than the rest of us about what he did and said today. I'm not going to ask." Hugging Midoriya made him think of hugging his mother as child, when she'd been upset thanks to Endeavor, and how comforting her had felt. The peace that filtered down to Shoto now, too, made him realize again that hugs could benefit both parties.

Had All Might needed the hugs he'd given out to his students as well?

Midoriya dissolved into tears. Shoto sank with him down onto the bench, still keeping arms locked around Midoriya's shoulders. For quite some time, there were no words. Just wracking sobs and shuddering breaths. Midoriya clutched Shoto's jacket and did indeed try to muffle his cries in the fabric. The muffling didn't work terribly well, but Shoto didn't announce that. Shoto just watched the street to make sure nobody would witness them.

If Shoto were a lesser man, he might have started letting himself think about further comfort, of a different sort. Midoriya was so warm, so vulnerable, and Shoto wanted— But he banished those thoughts out of his head, and just let Midoriya bawl.

Finally, there were words again. "Todoroki... I don't know if we really did the right thing back there. Despite the rules, what if we should have stayed to help All Might? What if _we_ caused all this, by neglecting to fight? Just because the law is that—"

"There isn't any way that we can go back there now and change it." Shoto tried not to let his fingers wander through Midoriya's curly locks.

"Y-you don't understand. There are so many times I feel like I've disappointed him. He _always_ tells me it's fine. But I just want to be there for him in a way that doesn't let him down. I want to make All Might proud, and support him..."

Midoriya wanted to be a Hero for his Hero.

"All Might is still alive, so you'll have more chances to make him proud. And he could fight with all his attention because we _left_ there, to let him do so. And because of your fast-thinking, we got to leave with Bakugo. I'm sure he'd tell you the same thing. I'm sure All Might is proud of you."

Midoriya's breath caught. He almost hiccuped. But he didn't say anything further... or anything about 'Kacchan.'

There were things Shoto wished to ask on the subject of Bakugo's rescue. Like when Midoriya had realized there was chemistry between Kirishima and Bakugo. Like whether it had hurt Midoriya's pride, to know that if he hadn't given _Kirishima_ the task of reaching for Bakugo's hand, Bakugo never would have let himself be saved.

Was Midoriya jealous that someone else existed who could stir Bakugo's heart? Was it possible Midoriya had felt for the first time what it meant to be stuck between? Did it cut him deeply that Kirishima had Bakugo's respect as an equal, somehow... and Midoriya still didn't?

Did Midoriya forgive Shoto yet, for Bakugo's being taken in the first place? When their group had come up with Bakugo's rescue plan, and then set out to execute it, Midoriya hadn't seemed to hold a grudge for anything. In fact, no one had seemed to blame Shoto. Kirishima had even apologized for suggesting he'd been upset with Shoto.

But Shoto desperately needed to hear that all was well from Midoriya's lips alone. He wanted to ask tonight if he was blamed or forgiven… but after so much, how could he ask? Shoto would just have to swallow it back. After Midoriya felt better, maybe they could address it.

Midoriya kept crying on Shoto. Shoto held tightly and didn't let go.

He didn't know how much time had passed when Midoriya wiped his eyes and sighed. "I don't think I have any tears left, even if I wanted to."

"Do you feel better?" Shoto asked.

There was a pause. Midoriya's hand tightened on Shoto's jacket. "I feel like I'm glad someone understands me."

With all the control he could muster, Shoto extracted himself from Midoriya's grip. Their embrace could not go on forever.

Shoto had helped; he would be content with that.

They both rose. Shoto said, "It's progress. Go back inside now, and sleep. A good night's rest will help you, too."

They walked back toward Midoriya's window. Midoriya murmured, "What about you? I didn't ask if you wanted to rant about Endeavor—"

"I'll be fine. That I was able to see you has taken some burden off me." Shoto paused, and then re-worded, so he didn't sound intense. So Midoriya couldn't misinterpret him, or feel as if this were romantic pressure after all. "It's nice to be able to help out a friend. It reminds me that the world is bigger than my family's problems — and that even if All Might is through as the Symbol of Peace, the rest of us will carry on with the power of our passions and our Hero goals. Somehow."

"Makes you forget, even for a short time?" Midoriya sniffed and smiled. "And I suppose you'll tell me not to feel guilty or weird that you just spent your evening comforting me?"

Shoto's mouth lifted in one corner. "That's right."

He formed a path of ice again.

"Todoroki."

"What is it?"

Midoriya didn't climb up the path. "Kirishima mentioned something. Iida was there and agreed with it, too. They said maybe you might feel like Kacchan's capture was your fault."

Shoto didn't say anything.

"It isn't. You know that, don't you? I was upset, when Kacchan disappeared. I lashed out… and I hope you forgive me for it. None of what I was feeling was anger directed at you. Still, I said really awful things, because I was a mess, and I wasn't considering your special feelings toward me—"

"Those aren't your concern, remember? You have been burdened with enough." Shoto kept his voice very soft. A warm sensation like honey over pancakes seemed to seep through him.

Midoriya cared. It was enough. Midoriya didn't blame him.

Shoto didn't need either of them to address anything beyond their friendship.

"Still." Midoriya faltered. "Just because I'm conflicted— o-or I was, at training camp, having to think so hard about Kacchan and my relationship, and you…." Shoto had a hard time focusing on what Midoriya meant to convey, when his eyes looked so deep green and earnest like how they did that moment. "It doesn't mean I had a right to talk that way to you. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have Kacchan back at all. And something even worse might have happened when they first captured him. I know you don't like him that much, so I'm sorry to bring everything up again, but… thank you. Thank you for being there." Midoriya bowed, and it seemed he was through.

"Go to bed, Midoriya." Shoto murmured it, his voice thick with relief and care. He felt like a weight had come off him.

He gave Midoriya his hand. When Midoriya took it without hesitation, Shoto tried to will his heart to behave and not thud loudly. He extended his arm to help guide Midoriya up the slippery ice ramp. Their fingers mingled, then separated when Midoriya advanced too high to reach. Losing the contact made Shoto's breath catch.

At the window, Midoriya looked back. "Good night," he whispered, holding Shoto's gaze before his eyelids flickered, and he looked down.

"Good night, Midoriya," Shoto said.


	9. The Dorms

When UA turned into a boarding school, Shoto discovered dealing with his siblings and his father had not fortified him for dorm life.

"Mineta's room is next to mine. I can hear him through the wall, watching porn," Midoriya told him. "And I don't know where he _gets_ it! Because we're underage, and UA monitors the net access to block websites like that! And he keeps asking me if I want to watch it, every time we pass in the hall to or from the staircases!"

Shoto didn't like Mineta, but he failed for a moment to focus on that... as his brain became that of the teenager he inevitably was... and he began to picture instead Midoriya and porn in his head in inappropriate fashions. He struggled to maintain his cool. "At least it's not a habit he probably keeps up for long," he suggested.

"Oh no." Midoriya blew his cheeks outward, his face turning a lovely red. "Oh no, you've got it wrong. He leaves it running for _hours,_ so I'm always distracted from my Hero analysis notebooks. He either falls asleep to it, or he's abusing something like Viagra. For which he should be expelled!" Midoriya shivered almost hard enough to drop his tray, clearly disgusted by his small, purple classmate... while Shoto tried not to feel surprised that somebody like Midoriya could talk about porn. Midoriya might blush, but still. He didn't stutter while he addressed it. Shoto wondered if it was because Mineta watched the kind of porn that involved breasts... and Midoriya had strong opinions on breasts that were not as favorable as Mineta's.

Shoto couldn't say he didn't feel, well... equally as repulsed as Midoriya did by the statements about Mineta. But he also strove to keep a better hold on his dinner tray, because now his mind was where it shouldn't be, completely. Shoto swallowed — as he and Midoriya walked away from Lunch Rush's new dorm service area to the cafeteria tables that were just about empty by this hour.

Both of them had spent so much time unpacking and organizing their rooms that they were eating dinner late. From the looks of it, essentially last.

That they were alone didn't seem to help Shoto's thought directions whatsoever. He scanned the room, to memorize its features and perhaps calm himself some.

In the cafeteria's far corner, Mr. Aizawa and All Might sat at a table, drinking something that looked warm, and talking in serious, muted tones. All Might looked hunched and skeletal, in the gold, pinstriped suit far too big for him now. Shoto tried not to swallow. He was still not used to seeing All Might this way. Even his hair looked deflated, scraggly.

Both teachers looked up when Shoto and Midoriya walked past with their dinner trays. Shoto nodded to Aizawa, and Midoriya exchanged a small, sad smile with All Might that seemed to radiate something tense, mournful, and private. Deep.

Shoto tried to straighten his back as he walked. The heavy mood even despite the shiny new dorms had not failed to instill alarm in him. The world was changing, as he had predicted. Villains were stirring left and right. Some tenuous thread had broken, and UA had been forced to change — as if preparing for battle. Shoto supposed _not_ taking precautions would have been naive, after everything that had by now come to pass — but it still made him worried that the UA teachers had to act like body guards. They always moved in pairs, now, making sure that wherever there were students, _they_ were there too, to watch and protect.

"My room is on the top floor," Shoto said, trying to remain natural as he continued Midoriya's conversation about their new homes. "So mostly I have a good view. But underneath me — and above Iida on the third floor, I guess... Well, there's more noise that comes from there sometimes than I can really stand. Not pornography noise. Just..." Shoto sighed, wryly. He said, "The room belongs to Baku—"

"Hey, you two— you eating late also? Sit with us two, over here."

Shoto turned to look across the empty cafeteria. It was not as empty as his first glance had made him believe. One other table had students at it — one off in the back corner.

It was Kirishima and Bakugo, tucked alone at a table Shoto had missed when he'd come through the door, because the cafeteria doors themselves blocked it from view.

Kirishima was the person who had called them. Shoto watched Midoriya hesitate, smiling in a way that looked uncertain. Pained.

Shoto bit back a sigh at that. Midoriya hadn't yet decided what he thought about Kirishima and Bakugo's increasing level of companionship, then.

Why was Midoriya waiting so long to address it for himself? Shoto knew by now that Midoriya's other friends had noticed Midoriya grew awkward. Midoriya hesitated — both in getting to know Kirishima better... and in saying much to Bakugo after Bakugo's rescue success. Shoto knew Midoriya didn't like going too long without taking action regarding things he cared about. So why did Midoriya drag his feet about something like this? Was it really because he was getting jealous?

Either way, perhaps it was time for Shoto to attempt to help again. He squared his shoulders and nudged Midoriya with one foot. "Let's go and sit with them," he said. "What's it going to hurt?"

Shoto had wanted to eat alone with Midoriya. But if he could stop an awkward situation from just dragging out...

Shoto took half a second to wonder when he'd become the type to worry about solving squabbles between others. Caring about Midoriya was turning him into a person who couldn't relax, even outside Hero training.

Midoriya followed him, after Shoto strode a few steps ahead. He muttered at Shoto, "Hah, hah, hah... aaah, famous last words. I still don't think you get Kacchan at all."

Shoto didn't really want to sit with Bakugo, either. But he wasn't doing this for himself. He was going to do this for Midoriya — like always. Because he had chosen this.

He wanted to help and protect Midoriya, and probably, this would make Midoriya feel much better in the end.

Shoto crossed the cafeteria, his eyes on Bakugo's blond head. Did he 'get Kacchan,' he wondered? Bakugo had been quiet, ever since they'd come to rescue him — ever since All Might's true form had been revealed to the world.

Shoto wondered if Bakugo and Midoriya had reached some understanding since then, or hit some breaking point at last, thanks to events with All For One. Maybe enough drama had come to pass by now that both of them had found time to reflect. Maybe they'd found that world events were bigger than their... relationship problems.

In any case, while Bakugo was gone, Shoto suspected Midoriya had figured out at last what Bakugo meant to him — even if he hadn't made Shoto privy to the understanding. Shoto suspected that beyond trying to get comfortable with Kirishima, Midoriya was also mulling on what to do next with... with whatever those feelings for Bakugo were. Some kind of forward step must be taken. And Bakugo's silence, his seeming complacency... Bakugo hadn't even _complained_ that Midoriya's plan had rescued him. Maybe Bakugo had finally decided not to hate Midoriya? If that was the case, Shoto wondered if sitting with Bakugo for dinner would finally make it evident — enough that it might ease Midoriya's mind and help Midoriya confront his emotions. Shoto was still certain that what Midoriya wanted most was for 'Kacchan' to be kind toward him. Was that _possible_ for Bakugo, the boy that wanted to win and dominate everyone and everything?

Shoto knew _something_ needed to happen, at least, to move the two childhood friends forward. Whatever it was, and no matter how it chewed at him from inside, if life gave Shoto the opportunity to be the catalyst that put Midoriya and Bakugo on the path to getting along with each other at last... he figured it was worth a shot.

At least Shoto would be here, and able to act this time, if anything went to hell in front of him.

They sat down when they got to the table. Midoriya sat directly across from Bakugo, after only one faltering pause. Kirishima was sitting on Bakugo's right.

Shoto could have sat on Midoriya's left, to be across from Kirishima — so that the four of them would make a tightly knit box of people. Instead, Shoto sat on Midoriya's right.

He tried to ignore the small, knowing grin of appraisal Kirishima tossed at him. The right hand. The position of second in command. The place a trusted, number one Hero sidekick would hover in.

Shoto set his food tray down and adjusted his seat like nothing he'd done meant anything.

"'Sup, you guys?" Kirishima asked. Then he kicked Bakugo. "Say hi."

Bakugo crammed his fork in his mouth, chewing. " 'Ey." He chewed more. That was all.

Midoriya mumbled. "H-hi."

Shoto set to eating, too. Lunch Rush had made a fragrant Italian affair; the pasta was al dente and better than Shoto's older sister could make it. In his peripherals, he could see Aizawa and All Might looking askance at their table. But then they went on talking quietly. Shoto could almost sense their apprehension, however. And he couldn't say he didn't share their skepticism, assessing the tangled threads between all four students who ate together.

Then again, whether the scene was worth apprehension depended entirely on what Midoriya and Bakugo did, didn't it.

Kirishima didn't seem bothered by the prospect of possible confrontation. "How are your room set-ups? Mine's cool. I'm right next to this jerk—" and Kirishima grinned, jabbing a thumb toward Bakugo "—which means I get to drag him to dinner, when it seems like he only wants to skip it."

Bakugo grunted. Kirishima laughed.

Shoto noticed Midoriya hadn't touched his food just yet. Midoriya glanced at Kirishima once, and then down at the table, still. Silent.

"Have you tried the baths yet?" Shoto asked Kirishima, his voice extremely casual. Kirishima said something about how the hot water was nice and scalding, but if Shoto employed his Quirk in the stalls, he could probably make a wonderful sauna.

They talked another few minutes. Shoto could not recall that he'd ever made so much pointless small talk in conversation in his life. By the time his meal sat halfway gone, and an awkward silence had finally panned out, it became apparent he and Kirishima were the two carrying the whole conversation.

Bakugo staunchly ignored everyone. Midoriya had still hardly eaten his food.

Shoto caught Kirishima's eyes above their heads; Kirishima's waning grin and shrug said, _This sucks... but what else can we do?_

Shoto brought his fingers up to rub the bridge of his nose between his eyes.

Kirishima nudged Bakugo with his elbow. "Say something, you idiot. It isn't like you not to talk. If you can't talk, then at least yell? Yelling would make you sound like you."

Shoto just rubbed his eyes some more. Next to him, Midoriya twitched, as if he somehow felt guilty noticing Shoto doing it. Did Midoriya know he wasn't helping, by also not saying anything?

For a moment, Bakugo did nothing. Then he turned and stabbed his fork into the remnants of Kirishima's meal. A bit of sauce landed on the table.

Kirishima leaned away, wincing.

"I'll talk to say..." Bakugo growled "...I'm finished eating, and don't care anymore whether you are. _You_ talk too much. We're leaving, Shitty Hair." Bakugo shoved his chair outward.

Kirishima laughed nervously. "Right." He cast Shoto a helpless look.

Shoto held back from cutting in. He could feel Midoriya's tension beside him. And in another moment, Midoriya raised his head.

"Kacchan."

So then, here it was. Shoto put his fork down, feeling prepared. He kept himself poised for whatever would come.

Kirishima's whole body had gone taught as well.

Bakugo, fully risen, looked then at Midoriya. "AaAH?"

The irritated noise lacked its usual bite somehow. Kirishima noticed as well. When Kirishima relaxed thanks to it, Shoto released his breath also. But he didn't dare to start eating again, lest something still catch him off guard.

They all let Midoriya talk.

"There's something I've been wanting to ask you, since you came back from being caught and held by Tomura."

When Bakugo replied, his voice was softer than Shoto could say he'd ever heard. It barely had gravel to it. "Then hurry up and ask it, shitty nerd."

Shoto didn't know what would come. But when Midoriya at last posed his question, it wasn't what he expected.

"When the League of Villains asked you to join them... did part of you consider it?" Midoriya didn't falter.

Kirishima jolted. Shoto stared.

It was probably what everyone had wondered, but everyone had understood it was not a thing to ask Bakugo out loud. Because Bakugo would—

"What the fuck are you—? Don't _test_ me, Deku." Bakugo's voice dropped.

Midoriya squeaked. "I-I'm not trying to test you, I swear! I'm— I'm not saying I thought you'd go to their side. I'm just wondering if you felt any, well, _doubt?_ If you felt hopeless at all, because of the logic the Villains probably used when they tried to convince you, regarding what we're told we have to do and feel to become full Heroes." Was Midoriya asking because he had felt that doubt himself? "The laws we have to follow that seem put in place for benefits beyond saving people... D-did you agree with what Stain said was wrong with our society, or did anything else make you—"

"I'm not a weak crybaby like you are. AS IF I could be swayed so easily by what Villains told me!" Bakugo's volume was rising.

Shoto saw Kirishima close his eyes, as if praying for something privately.

"Do you have crud inside your ears?! Did you not hear the teachers on TV? I'm too much of a fucking boss to let those shitty Villains seduce me!"

At that, Shoto recalled two teachers were there in the cafeteria. But they still had their heads together, as if discussing something.

"I'm aiming for the top," Bakugo snarled. "I'm HERO MATERIAL, dumbass. Those guys were all trash in my way; I was gonna _clobber them_ before I was gonna let them try to make me join their stupid team. QUIT UNDERESTIMATING ME! I'm gonna beat everyone. I don't care who I have to crush to get there — including loser Villains... and _including you!_ " Bakugo slammed one hand on the table.

Kirishima grabbed his sleeve. "Bakugo."

Bakugo strained himself, fisting his hands... but seemed aware of Kirishima's hold on his sleeve. He made nothing explode, but he did snarl. "CHRIST, Deku... How long are you going to look down on me, when you can't even fight without tearing yourself into shreds? HUH?! DON'T YOU GET THAT I'M GOING TO KILL EVERYTHING IN MY WAY?!"

Under the table, Shoto pressed his leg against Midoriya's — for support and comfort, just to say he was there. Midoriya's lips quirked up in silent, subtle acknowledgement of the gesture.

Then Midoriya took a breath. He said, "But that's why I worried about you. You're still so _violent_ , Kacchan. A-and those flames only get fanned, because of me... and our relationship. I just can't help but wonder whether that's part of why they chose to target you."

It was the wrong string of things to say. Shoto knew before Midoriya had finished his sentences.

Kirishima had already stood up; he held Bakugo back from behind. He locked both Bakugo's arms together despite the risk to himself. Shoto pushed out his chair and stood.

Midoriya pushed back his chair, too, but stayed down.

Spittle flew from Bakugo's lips, as he craned himself forward. Shoto fully believed he would lunge over the whole table, if allowed. "DID I ASK YOU TO WORRY ABOUT ME, OR PATRONIZE ME? HUH, DEKU?!"

"Easy," Kirishima murmured, hardening his arms so they would work as better shackles. Shoto could tell that Kirishima tried not to attract too much attention; he had glanced over once at the teacher table. Luckily, All Might and Aizawa had learned already that Bakugo practically yelled everything... so they looked unconcerned as of the present. But Shoto saw All Might had tensed his shoulders. "Midoriya doesn't want to fight you, okay? He wants to eat his food right now."

"HE'S GONNA FUCKING BE _MY_ FOOD. I'LL TEAR HIM APART WITH MY TEETH!" Bakugo gnashed his teeth in illustration. "LET THE FUCK GO OF ME, KIRISHIMAAA!"

"Maybe he wouldn't taste good if you do." Kirishima muttered it — flushed, almost like he expected Bakugo wouldn't hear him.

There was a pause.

Then Bakugo lost himself. Bakugo had indeed heard the comment. He thrashed in Kirishima's grip until Kirishima lost his hold... and skidded back four feet when Bakugo whacked him with a backhand. Shoto flinched, but didn't move. Kirishima could handle himself... Or Shoto desperately hoped so.

"All you... fucking... _wanton extras..._ DON'T YOU HAVE PRIORITIES?!" Before Kirishima could recover, Bakugo banged both hands palms-down on their dinner table. He screamed across the space at Midoriya. "LISTEN UP TO ME, DEKU..."

Shoto felt the teachers finally look up. He imagined they were sighing at the display they'd seen by now over and over.

But would they interfere, or would Shoto have to? Would Midoriya be able to fix this before it spiraled out of control?

Bakugo's chest heaved; he panted like a cart-horse. His eyes looked gleaming and crazy. "I'll say this to you fucking _once._ Don't care about me like you do! FORGET YOUR STUPID CRUSH ON ME. I'M NEVER GOING TO WANT YOU! DO YOU KNOW WHY THAT FUCKING IS?!"

Shoto heard Midoriya's intake of breath. He didn't take his eyes off Bakugo. Bakugo's hands twitched, like he'd make explosions.

Shoto lost another ounce or so of his own tenuous control. Surely Bakugo had learned by now not to destroy property on school grounds?

Beyond that, to reject Midoriya so cruelly like this... Even if the rejection meant Shoto could breath a sigh of relief somewhere in the back of his head... To trample all over Midoriya's feelings this way, in front of others— To trample all of Midoriya's kindness, to rip him up for what had only ever been caring and tenderness toward someone who had been his childhood friend, long before any deeper feelings were involved...

It was annoying. Shoto didn't want to forgive it. Shoto felt his face muscles twitch. The side of his features with his scar seemed to burn.

"IT'S BECAUSE I DON'T LIKE WANTON, SHITTY NERDS WHO LET THEMSELVES GET DISTRACTED. All Might... All Might's been wrong to focus on someone as weak and pathetic as you! FACE IT, Deku— you just hold All Might back... and he'll never be proud of you!"

Shoto felt something click in him at that, almost like a release, or a gun trigger. Like a rocket being disengaged from its station, primed to fire itself now for the stars.

Nothing right then could have held Shoto back.

Midoriya slumped in his chair. Those words... they dug right in Midoriya's wounds. Midoriya had _cried_ on Shoto — cried out his feelings of remorse and worry about All Might's condition, about his own part in All Might's fate — because he only _loved_ All Might. And All Might being proud of him? That notion meant more to Midoriya than even Midoriya's feelings of attraction toward anyone. Bakugo had ground a heel into it.

Shoto rounded the table, seeing red.

Kirishima stepped forward. "Whoa—"

Shoto pushed him aside. "I've had enough. You're in my way, Kirishima."

"Todoroki, come on, man — not you, too." Kirishima's voice rose to a higher pitch. "Midoriya, get ahold of yourself, and help me stop the two of them!"

"AaAH?" Bakugo grinned a maniacal grin, ignoring Kirishima's pleas. He flexed his hands in front of him, turning to face Shoto head on. "Is it finally time for our rematch, Abominable Ice Man?"

Shoto remained aware that there were teachers in the room, despite that he no longer spared a glance for them. He breathed in deep... and didn't let his Quirk spring from either of his hands.

He would just have to use his words. "If what you just spouted is how you feel about Midoriya... then don't ever raise your voice at him or lay a finger on him outside of school training again. If you dislike him, then he isn't worth your attention. Or are you really the bully that everybody thinks you are? Leave him alone from now on, Bakugo."

Behind him, Midoriya got to his feet. "Todoroki... Wait. Please don't."

A part of Shoto heard the plea. The other part completely failed to care.

Bakugo had gone too far... and now Shoto probably would, as well.

Bakugo's grin stretched wider. "OR WHAT, ICY?" he taunted. "Can't you hear Deku's whining behind you? HE GETS THAT I'LL RUIN HIM. You don't! He doesn't want you to interfere... so back the fuck off, why don't you?"

The fear again that Shoto was coming needlessly between pricked him. He ignored it. He didn't care. "I won't stand for it any more if you hurt him so shamelessly."

"DID YOU HEAR DEKU PROTEST THE SHIT I SAID?! Whether Deku likes it when I tell him the truth, or whether he doesn't... He never tells me to stop. NOTICE THAT?"

"He _has_ told you to stop all this. He's tried to get along with you instead." Shoto had both his hands in fists. He recalled Midoriya, in the hall, pinned against the wall underneath Bakugo's grip. Shuddering at Bakugo's hold on him.

"No." Bakugo snarled another grin. "Deku just makes nonsense drama, and _messes with me_ by concealing things and telling lies _,_ to get me riled up on purpose. I think he can't fucking help himself. And as much as his BULLSHIT drives me to kill him... it also drives _him_ more, or else he probably wouldn't bother to _instigate me_. He can take my response and he wants it. Just ask him, the stupid nerd." Bakugo's smirk was near insane. Smug. And his return to his softer, murderer's hiss unnerved Shoto.

Shoto hesitated. "Midoriya... Is that true?"

No answer came. Shoto swallowed. And then Shoto recalled something.

 _Complicated._

Could it be that Midoriya needed his complex rivalry with Bakugo as much as Bakugo seemed at times to need it? Could it be that Midoriya's Hero worship of Bakugo made him as obsessed with pursuing and _beating_ Bakugo as Bakugo was obsessed with beating everyone? Did Midoriya _seem_ like he just wished for Bakugo's kindness, but really have some secret desire to keep Bakugo clashing with him? For the attention? For the challenge it posed, for the way it drove him? Maybe Shoto would never learn. Maybe he'd been taken for a ride this entire time, thinking Midoriya needed saving from this. Maybe he'd put his heart in the wrong place, and given Midoriya his loyalty and protection when from the beginning, Midoriya had _wanted_ or at least never minded Bakugo's abuse and anger... because it was acknowledgement. Maybe Midoriya had never cared what Bakugo did, as long as Bakugo focused on him.

Did Midoriya consciously know everything he desired from Bakugo? Was that why Midoriya had even taken Bakugo's battle moves and borrowed them?

Either way, if Shoto didn't finally do something about the situation...

The fact was, they didn't have time anymore for arguments, for classroom tensions. There were more important things at stake now than Midoriya's attempts at managing his relationship with Bakugo. More things at stake than making sure Bakugo's ego didn't turn him to the side of the Villains. There was more at stake for UA and the _world_ than this endless battle between two stubborn childhood companions.

If Shoto couldn't stop this for Midoriya's sake, then he'd stop it for something bigger. Or so Shoto told himself. He wanted to make the drama end. He didn't know if a Hero would have tried to. He didn't know if he wanted it, still, because of his own selfish desires and hopes.

He just knew that he had to try to end it, for anything else to begin.

Bakugo's cackle filled the room. Then Bakugo smashed his dinner tray to one side.

Kirishima yelped at the crash, the clattering silverware, all the spilled food. But Shoto kept his eyes on Bakugo's.

Bakugo leaned in, taunting him. " _Butt in all you want,_ Todoroki." Bakugo's snarl felt like poison. "But Deku will always chase me, always let me get under his skin. So I will always scream at him! You can follow him, want him, defend him... but you'll never undo what's between me and him. You're fucking _second._ You got that?"

Shoto's mind went blank a long instant. Then he was responding before he could help himself.

"If that's the way you feel, I pity you. Regardless of what Midoriya might want or why... if you think you can keep Midoriya tied to you only, with only the way you currently treat him, then you're going to lose him, Bakugo — even though you're so confident. No..." Shoto blinked then, doubly certain, recalling the difficulties Midoriya had expressed in terms of pursuing Bakugo's friendship. Recalling the way Midoriya had flushed, seeing Shoto while he was wet. Midoriya had let Shoto embrace him. Whether or not Midoriya chose Shoto to stay by his side, in the end...

"You've already lost him," Shoto declared.

Bakugo's face contorted.

"He might still run to you for rivalry, or engage you to create a reason to push himself to do better, or he might pursue you out of a sense of old dependency, or maybe physical desire, respect..." Shoto tried not to let himself waver, listing all of the options that he knew he was up against. "But the arms that hold him, protect him, and help him to reach his potential aren't yours anymore. Not even if you wish they were."

Bakugo's face and neck burned red.

"Did you forget, Bakugo? I promised you that Midoriya was no longer your concern. And I have been making good on my promise. Soon _I_ will be the first one he relies on. It won't be you ever again."

"TODOROKI... I WILL RIP OUT YOUR THROAT—"

Midoriya's voice was thick behind him. "Todoroki. Todoroki, _don't_. Both of you, stop fighting like this—"

Shoto didn't try to stop. "And do you know what that means?" he asked over Bakugo's new death threats. "It means, if you _do_ beat Midoriya to the top... none of the credit you want will be yours." Shoto thought about his father's reaction to All Might's fall. "You'll never be able to say, 'Deku got this far because of me, because he wanted to chase me, to face me down, me, because I'm the best, _me,_ and then I surpassed him, I clobbered him, after forcing him to keep up, the stupid pebble.' You'll never get to gloat," Shoto stated, "or prove your worth for yourself by conquering Midoriya's strength."

"Todoroki— _stop_ ," Kirishima said.

But for once, Shoto felt just like Bakugo. Like he would never, ever be finished. He delivered a greater blow. "It will be just like when you beat me at the festival match, Bakugo... but you still walked away feeling like you had lost. You're going to feel that. Again."

Bakugo yelled. "What... did... YOU... SAAAAAYYY?!" The firecrackers at Bakugo's palms finally went off, sending sparks raining down on the graveyard of their stone-cold, destroyed dinner.

Shoto dropped into a fighting stance.

Kirishima threw himself in Bakugo's way.

"YOU REALLY THINK THAT YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME?! THAT YOU'LL EVER MEAN MORE TO DEKU THAN I DO? THAT YOU'LL EVER STRENGTHEN HIM AND YOURSELF BOTH BY KICKING HIS ASS, AND THEN ENJOY BEATING HIM IN THE END? EVEN IF DEKU GOES WEAK FOR THAT HANDSOME-PRINCE, HALF-BREED FACE OF YOURS..."

Shoto cast ice across the floor to hinder Bakugo's advance.

"THAT DAMN NERD AND I ARE _INTERTWINED_." The scream sounded husky and scratched. "I'LL NEVER LEAVE DEKU ALONE, BECAUSE THAT IDIOT... IS THE ONE THING I'VE ALWAYS HAD!"

Kirishima skidded on the ice, but kept holding Bakugo back. Shoto froze Bakugo's feet to the floor. Then he faltered a little bit.

Bakugo didn't make anything else explode. And that fact gave Shoto some pause.

Bakugo's next words came weaker, as he struggled to free his shoes. "Deku is someone I've held onto... all these years — even when he didn't have his useless, unrefined, stupid Quirk—"

Shoto didn't let him finish. But his heart thudded; he was uncertain. "Just because you kept fixated on him, because you wanted him for your chew-toy—"

"THAT'S NOT IT!" Bakugo shouted. "SHUT UP, YOU FUCKING LOVE-SICK TURD!" Shoto was shocked to hear Bakugo stammer next. "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE MAKING ME SAY THIS! D-Deku is... he's inside me, everywhere. I don't fucking know why and I don't really fucking care. I've tried to get rid of him. But we've become part of each other, for better or worse, and no matter how annoying he is. _It's not something you call pull apart so fucking easily!"_

"Kacchan..." Midoriya said.

"Midoriya," Shoto warned.

But the fight threatened to seep out of Shoto, then.

Bakugo did feel something, in the end. To some twisted degree... he cared. And Shoto was still in between. Ever caught, in between them. How could Shoto compete with this? From the beginning, how could he ever have hoped—?

"Quit treating me like I should be spoiling Deku with all the sissy shit YOU want to do! You already have two halves, Todoroki! Deku is _my_ other one!"

Shoto released his fighting stance. The steam he hadn't realized had begun to sizzle off him along with his cold stopped. He was aware of Midoriya's groan of feeling beside him.

But he hardly heard Kirishima yelling something, to try to make Bakugo stop. He hardly heard Midoriya try to say something soft. Something like, _Todoroki..._

He barely registered Aizawa and All Might exchanging a glance, as if to decide which of them would get up to finally put an end to this.

Shoto didn't care that in the end, both of the teachers walked toward their table — looking absolutely grim.

Bakugo dug his nails into Kirishima's granite-hard biceps. "Hot and cold, you Icy-Hot extra — hot and cold, doing your stupid little dance, leading Deku around by the nose, getting close to him and using your appeal, then ripping him up in the ring or insisting you want to be number one and beat him, when you think jerking him around is what I'm doing — you have it good enough, don't you?" Bakugo seemed to choke on emotion. "SO STAY OUT OF THE REST OF IT! Take what you want from him if he lets you, but don't criticize it when _I_ take what's mine my way, too! All this time, _I'm_ the one who's been looking out for and helping Deku most—"

"Bakugo," Kirishima said, hoarse. "Stop..."

"And if you want me to treat Deku with more kindness—"

Aizawa muttered, "Oy. You four."

But the teachers hadn't bothered to get near enough to stop this, yet. Shoto wondered weakly if they wanted to hear Bakugo's reasoning as well.

"If you want me to be GENTLE with him... CONSIDER WHY I CAN'T, DAMN YOU!"

As Bakugo unleashed a host of small explosions from his hands, and Shoto ducked and dodged them all, and the two teachers did the same, not far from him... Shoto finally noticed that Bakugo's eyes were glistening and wet.

 _Crying_. Bakugo. Frustrated tears.

Bakugo hardly seemed to care that he'd caught Kirishima in his crossfire. Kirishima was down, on his knees, nursing an unexpectedly singed shoulder. Shoto realized he felt terrible for the redhead, but the thought lasted only an instant before he refocused. Bakugo was still crying.

When the explosions were through, Bakugo flung up his sizzling, sweating palms. He panted. " _I can't even hold his hand!"_

Shoto stood still in his spot, thunderstruck. Behind him, Midoriya made a sound.

"Deku drives me so crazy... crazy—" Bakugo let his hands fall to his sides. "He makes me so _hot_ with anger, makes me fall apart until I sweat, makes me feel things I still don't _understand,_ and don't know whether I give a fuck to understand..."

"Kacchan," Midoriya whispered — sounding sick with revelation, and terrified beyond compare.

"...but if I get close to him, and lose control?" Bakugo was grinning unstably again, angry tears streaming down his face. "My own sweaty palms will _fucking_ _explode._ SO TELL ME, TODOROKI SHOTO..."

The hairs on Shoto's arms stood up on end. Bakugo hollered so he rivaled Present Mic.

"TELL ME WHY I'VE NEVER TRIED TO _COMFORT HIM_ LIKE YOU DO! CAN YOU DO THAAAT?!"

Bakugo was flying through the air — and straight for Shoto's face — before Shoto could wipe the horror from his system and make himself _move_.

At last... Shoto thought he could wade through and understand some of Bakugo's complex emotions. It wasn't that Bakugo hadn't wanted to return Midoriya's feelings. It was that Bakugo feared if he attempted to, he would hurt Midoriya — for real. And he hadn't wanted to do that.

Bakugo's bullying instead of kindness was because... without being able to show affection toward Midoriya — and likely thanks also to a host of his own insecurities and complexes — rivalry was all Bakugo felt he had. If Bakugo couldn't be gentle, and hold his place in Midoriya's heart like that, then he wanted to be the worm in the apple — there, every time Midoriya tried to sink his teeth into sweetness. Bakugo preferred to be the force that would drive Midoriya to insanity, forcing Midoriya to fight against Bakugo back — so that Midoriya would acknowledge him, over and over again without fail. Because if Midoriya didn't... Bakugo would lose Midoriya completely.

It was obsession. Or love, in a sense.

Learning how Bakugo's mind worked didn't make anything easier in that moment. Bakugo neared. Shoto dropped low. He swept out with his icy hand—

—and then he found himself blocking. A massive wind-and-pressure force hurled him backward like a cyclone.

He skidded away, sideways. Away _more_.

By the time Shoto had fallen hard on his knees, and the debris of food and trays and overturned tables had settled again... Bakugo was away from him, hurled backward almost as far as _he_ had been — but in the opposite direction.

A familiar man that had used to wear blue, red, and white stood in the center of the wreckage and laughed his echoing laugh at them.

"HAH hah hah hah! Young boys, young boys... There really is no need for this!" All Might stood in his muscled form, posing with his hand on his hips. His teacher's suit strained over his swollen chest.

A second later, All Might bent double — deflated. He coughed splatters of blood into both hands.

Shoto saw Midoriya stagger to his feet, from another side of the cafeteria. He'd been blown down by force, too. "All Might..."

Shoto could tell Midoriya was mortified that All Might had so strained himself.

"Everything is fine now," All Might said. "Why, you ask? Because _I_ am here!"

The catchphrase sounded pathetic coming from the emaciated version of the Hero. Shoto watched Midoriya's eyes fill up with helpless tears.

From the corner of his gaze, Shoto also saw Bakugo attempt to move again. He tensed himself as a result... but then Aizawa — no, Eraser Head — stepped forward, his unblinking eyes pinned smartly on Bakugo.

Bakugo spat on the ground. "Hmmph!" But he didn't move after that.

Bakugo couldn't use his Quirk to make anything else explode.

All Might put on his best show anyway. "I wouldn't keep acting so surly or keep holding that battle pose, Young Bakugo." The once-Hero continued smiling. All Might hadn't even turned to _look_ at Bakugo just yet.

Maybe there was still something left to All Might's instincts, even now, like this.

Midoriya cried... and All Might smiled. The man really had been a wall. Would anyone ever exist who could break through such a Hero?

"As your teacher, I have to say I'm disappointed to see yet another schoolyard brawl with Quirks involved — in inside brand new dorms, no less. It's not encouraged! If you move, I'll have to deal you punishment. And young man, you will not like it."

Bakugo only wheezed. "All Might... how many times do I have to tell you... that you need to shut your mouth?"

"Once more as always, Young Bakugo," All Might announced, grinning so it showed more teeth. "And why do you think that is?" The man laughed, despite that it ended in yet another cough. "It's because a Hero answers only to his conscience!" All Might stage-whispered after that. "Not to you, I'm afraid — so please take my warning and don't move again."

Eraser Head said, "You'll all go to your rooms and remain there. How many times do I have to tell you..." Without taking his eyes off Bakugo, the man went to help Kirishima stand. "If this goes on, you'll be expelled, before you'll ever be Heroes."

All Might raised his booming voice. "Young Todoroki!"

"Yes—" Shoto wavered on his feet. "Yes, sir." He cobbled his wits together and raised his head in All Might's direction.

"Are you able to escort Young Midoriya to his room, on your way back to your own?"

Shoto tried not to jump. "Yes, sir."

"All Might..." Midoriya said. "I don't need—"

But All Might turned away as if he hadn't heard — and it made Shoto wonder for the first time if this was what the Symbol of Peace looked like when he was shaken to his core.

Shaken... by the student that was his favorite. Shaken because even _he_ hadn't realized the extent of the complication that was the Midoriya-Bakugo relationship. Shoto wondered if All Might had ever before considered the power Midoriya had to make people lose emotional control — never mind Midoriya's Quirk and fighting potential.

Shoto had no idea how All Might would handle Midoriya's feelings from here. But Shoto would probably have to learn from the Pro Hero's response if he could. Caring for Midoriya in the aftermath of this was up to the two of them together.

It was always Shoto and All Might who took care of Midoriya, he realized. And Shoto recognized again it was time to be Midoriya's Hero now.

"Let's go, Midoriya," he said.

Midoriya resisted. "But, K-Kacchan..."

"Is getting scolded by Eraser Head." Shoto crossed the broken cafeteria to take Midoriya's arm. "Let's go. We shouldn't be here any more."

Bakugo had his face tucked in his elbow, wiping away stubborn, persistent tears... while Aizawa held him firmly by the scruff of the neck.

Midoriya couldn't argue with Shoto, in the end... because he could barely speak through his own tears. Shoto half-dragged, half-led Midoriya from the cafeteria to the elevators. But the tears Midoriya was shedding felt as if somehow, they scalded him _._

Behind them, they could hear All Might. "Now yield, Young Bakugo, and learn your lesson about fair conduct _._ And please accept this handkerchief for your eyes..."

The elevator dinged to the sound of Bakugo's renewed shouting.

* * *

 **Author Note:** _I might be much slower to update from here. But update I will - especially if people remind me they're waiting on more chapters._

 _Additionally, I think it's time poor Todoroki gets some action from Midoriya, no? But who are people rooting for, Todoroki or Bakugo?_


	10. Letting Out Feelings

**Author Note:** _This chapter was difficult to write. Sorry for the delay!_

* * *

They were silent all the way to Midoriya's room on the second floor. But the walk didn't feel like an escort anymore. Shoto found he didn't know how to carry out All Might's orders to bring Midoriya back to his room... while Midoriya was striding ahead of him, refusing to allow Shoto to catch up, never mind to lead or support.

Midoriya's back was stiff, and he'd finally stopped crying — suddenly, as if turning off a faucet. As if coming to some dark decision or resolution. Shoto's mind had barely started to process events from the cafeteria; his tension hadn't ebbed either. Seeing Midoriya in a mood he couldn't interpret was just making the situation feel twice as unstable and anxious.

Shoto fisted his hands and shook his head.

So... Bakugo had feelings for Midoriya — even if he couldn't define them for himself, even if he tried hard to ignore them. Midoriya had seemed shocked to find out... but he certainly wasn't protesting the fact.

Indeed, Midoriya hadn't protested _anything_ Bakugo had said. Did that mean Midoriya agreed with Bakugo's insistence that they were two halves of a whole? Did Midoriya agree, too, that Shoto could only be second best?

Midoriya reached his bedroom door. He paused for a spell outside of it.

The pause allowed Shoto to catch up.

From Mineta's room, they heard, "Yeah, yeah, that's it — rip her clothes off!"

Midoriya's shoulders jerked, but he rested his hand on the knob of his door and touched the fingerprint scan on the wall. The door unlocked. He turned the knob.

Shoto spoke before they could part, before they could leave it like this. "Midoriya." His voice was strained. And he was still not sure what he wanted to say. What he might be _allowed_ to say.

Butting in hadn't been his place.

Midoriya stalked into his room — but he left the door gaping wide open behind him.

It was an invitation for Shoto to go in. It possibly meant Midoriya wasn't mad about how Shoto had interfered and instigated Bakugo. But... did Shoto want to follow Midoriya into his room, now? Would things between them ever be the same after Bakugo's outburst again, regardless of what Shoto did or said here, in the aftermath?

He probably still had to try.

When Shoto entered Midoriya's dorm room despite himself and closed the door behind him, Midoriya fisted his hands.

"You didn't hold back at all," Midoriya said, scowling. "Now Kacchan might get expelled. And I—"

"He would deserve it," Shoto said. So Midoriya had let him in to argue, versus trying to discuss things rationally?

Something foreign bubbled in Shoto's blood at that — like everything he'd seen and heard was brewing a horrible poison in him. If Midoriya wanted to argue, or lay blame... maybe Shoto would oblige.

"Why can't you ever see it, Midoriya? No matter what Bakugo says, it's what he _does_ that people should look at _._ He's a bomb that can't help going off, and yet you _still_ show sympathy for him? You care for him?"

The poison kept seeping through. Shoto knew it would do no good if he became as angry as Midoriya seemed to be, but... Shoto wasn't sure he could help himself. It wasn't like the adrenaline from downstairs in the cafeteria had faded, either. It caused a muted thunder, or a kind of fog in Shoto's head.

He didn't understand Midoriya at all. Maybe he never would, and it had been a mistake to try. Maybe he was a fool for falling for this boy.

"Hold back?" Shoto asked hoarsely. "As if I could! If you didn't want my support... you should know I wouldn't have gone that far in the first place if you had stood up for yourself earlier!"

Shoto was beginning to crack. He worried if he cracked too much, he'd render something irreparable. Yet he'd endured this situation for too long, now — told himself for far too long that he could be an impartial person, and forget his own feelings for Midoriya's sake and Bakugo's.

The strain was suddenly too much. Shoto was just a student. Human, and—

"Don't start raising your voice at me." Midoriya's own voice went dark.

Shoto realized he had indeed begun to lift his volume. He clenched his jaw, stealing the moment to seek better control.

He could not hear Mineta in the next room anymore. Was Mineta listening in through the wall?

"Bakugo _deserves_ whatever punishment he's going to get," Shoto said, keeping his tone low and even this time. He did not care to pretend he desired anything but venting his temper any more. Nothing else would happen, good or bad, until he let this out. "Why do you keep refusing to see it?"

"I do see it!" Midoriya shouted; his voice broke. So much, Shoto thought, for making sure Mineta didn't overhear. Midoriya's teeth gritted and he dropped his own tone back to a coarse whisper. "I have seen it, the whole time. I know you hate how I handle him, Todoroki. I know — but that doesn't change who I am! How can I simply step aside and let Kacchan suffer so much? Because of me, he got like that — with all the feelings between us so pent up! It's because of me he feels the way he does!"

"You insist on blaming yourself? It's never done you any good!"

Midoriya glared at Shoto. Shoto took a rigid few steps toward Midoriya's window, at a loss, while Midoriya stayed positioned alongside his bed.

Shoto felt caged like a helpless animal. How were they going to fix this?

"I'm trying to take responsibility for how Kacchan has reacted! Taking responsibility — isn't that what a Hero does?" Midoriya asked it sharply. Shoto could feel Midoriya's glare drag on. "It's my fault Kacchan held back until the point of explosion, it's my fault I didn't figure out his feelings sooner and confront them; I've felt so awkward around Kacchan sometimes that... that I didn't try hard enough to get through to him. Didn't even _you_ tell me that I shouldn't give up on him? And yet I _did_. I..."

Shoto stilled, his hands crammed into his pockets. He tightened his jaw again and stared out the window, at the moon that always seemed to watch them when they had these 'alone' moments. Alone, without Bakugo... but this time, it would come to this?

Shoto _had_ told Midoriya, in the hospital in Hosu, not to give up on his childhood friend. But Shoto had delivered that line as an empty platitude. He hadn't known what else to say at the time, because he'd realized he could only be the person between. Second best.

But Midoriya had taken his words to heart? Shoto's own polite, empty push had spurred Midoriya to keep engaging with Bakugo.

It meant Shoto had nobody to blame for this extended farce except himself. Shoto was not sure that right now, he could handle realizations like that.

"I _did_ give up on Kacchan," Midoriya repeated, his voice cracking as he went on. "I failed. I did give up, inside. I thought, 'Maybe it's not worth trying any more, over and over again to get on better terms with him.' And because of my weakness, now Kacchan has fallen apart!" Midoriya seemed by then to talk to himself, as if it didn't matter any more whether Shoto was even there. "I should have talked to him more, and _made_ him listen. I should have pinned _him_ to a wall. What good is this power of mine— what good is being a Hero if I can't reach who I need to reach?"

Shoto stared at the moon. "Who cares." Something inside him was breaking.

Midoriya turned to him. His voice was thick when he replied, "What?"

The poison was out and free. Shoto felt as liberated as he felt exhausted, draining the toxin from himself like spilling blood where Midoriya could see. "Who cares about what you could or couldn't do with your power for Bakugo?" He asked bluntly, shrugging his shoulders. "Especially if in the end, you grew convinced he wasn't worth the trouble? Who cares about the responsibilities of a Hero as defined by the Pros? We're _students._ We're not Heroes yet, and at this rate we might never be _._ We might be dead first. The League of Villains might finish the world. Which means all we really have to guide us in the present is our feelings _._ Our hearts. Holding ourselves to standards set up by adults and for adults if it means ignoring our own convictions... that isn't going to solve anything." Shoto didn't care that now he was the one lost in a monologue.

Shoto was tired of adults like the police chief, wan, who agreed with their student gut-instincts, but insisted they still had to hide their deeds, thanks to the laws and the rules in place, wan. Shoto thought of the UA principal's complicated explanations of what was moral... and then All Might just saying, _Be yourself._ Shoto thought of how he'd ultimately justified for himself that Midoriya was his important person, his reason to be a Hero. He thought of what Stain had claimed was wrong with their society, and how Stain had taken the idea of 'justice' into his own hands... and made a mark.

Rules, laws, and morals didn't have much effect in the end. What made a difference at the bitter end was what a person wished for most inside their heart.

"Our feelings are the only real compasses inside us, capable of driving us — and they'll point us in what directions they will, regardless of definitions of 'Hero.'"

Whether the direction a heart leaned toward was good or bad... that was something decided inside — and no imposed standard from outside could control it.

Good and evil, Hero and Villain... perhaps those things were not taught or made, but _born._

"It's why Bakugo gets into trouble. It's why I've lost my patience now." Shoto heard Midoriya's breath hitch, but he kept speaking his thoughts. "You can force yourself to believe whatever you like, force yourself to try to take responsibility for Bakugo further. But you'll never succeed if it's not what you want."

"Todoroki—"

"Emotional conviction is what has real power," Shoto said, turning at last away from his view of the moon. "My emotional conviction is this: I am in love with you, Midoriya."

Midoriya had parted his lips to speak, but he shut them, and Shoto watched. Midoriya sank unsteadily to sit upon his bed.

Shoto tried to keep his voice calm, as he finished letting the poison drain out. Would part of him finally heal, if he could get this off his chest?

"I'm tired of trying to pretend I'm not selfish and jealous when it comes to you. I don't care whether Bakugo has or hasn't fallen apart — because from the beginning he's been your most negative influence. I've wanted to save you from him."

Midoriya buried his face in his hands.

"I've wanted to be your hero," Shoto said, "if ever I longed for anything, outside of making things right with my mother and escaping my father's hold. I would have done anything for it. But now..." Shoto swallowed. Things would be much different, after tonight. "Midoriya," Shoto said, "I... I might never have the strength you have to go on without giving up. As much as I care for you... it's _because_ I do that it is time for me to ask you some very blunt questions again."

It wasn't enough, any more, for Shoto to keep insisting to himself, _I have to hide my feelings from him, to avoid putting him under any pressure._ At this point, those maneuvers were outdated. Shoto needed he and Midoriya both to confront and evaluate his attraction toward Midoriya now — or else they'd never move forward.

"G-go ahead," Midoriya whispered, from where his hands covered his face.

Shoto nodded, though he realized Midoriya couldn't see it. "Do you not want me to protect you or defend you any more? If you hate it that it I cut in tonight to confront Bakugo, to stand up for you... then say so clearly, and I won't rescue you any more." Shoto tossed his bangs out of his eyes, then closed his eyes to help himself find control when Midoriya didn't respond. "I won't be able to bring myself to. I cannot and will not fight for you if I know you don't want me to. I won't help you out by force, if you don't wish it — because that's what I've watched you do with your 'Kacchan.'"

Midoriya's shoulders jerked.

Shoto balled his right hand into a fist, and realized it was turning cold. "I couldn't bear the way you would resent me for my continued interference — in exactly the way Bakugo resents you for trying to help _him_ when _he_ doesn't want it." Shoto opened his eyes again and saw Midoriya stiffen.

A moment of silence between them ticked past. Then Shoto moved his foot to take a half step toward the bed.

"This is who _I_ am," Shoto said. "I'm somebody who needs straightforward answers. I'm somebody who hasn't done well enduring 'complicated.' Take me or leave me based on that; decide now whether you want to allow me to act freely in your defense any more... or not."

Midoriya said nothing.

Shoto swallowed and kept trying. "Tell me what you think of my feelings. Do you hate it, that I love you? Do I have a chance, or am I only making you resent me? Will we be able to keep our friendship, or do you want me to leave you alone, like we were never friends at all? Am I only in the way, an obstacle between you and Bakugo?" Shoto heard his voice waver, and once again he grew angry. "Break me of the stalemate I've been in so long because of you, before it sours everything that's good in me, Midoriya Izuku!"

Then Shoto fell silent, out of blunt surprise.

He had meant every word he said... but he hadn't realized how on-edge it sounded until he processed hearing it out loud. He sounded on the verge of going villainous, if he got the 'wrong answer.'

He sounded like he wanted to force Midoriya to choose. He was posing ultimatums.

But he didn't take his words back. Shoto wanted to know the truth. Did that make him so very bad?

If it did... if Shoto's fate was to end up some kind of Villain — after disturbing the relationship he'd always suspected he shouldn't butt into — after being rejected by Midoriya, clearly, at last — then better to find out now the direction Shoto's heart would point him in.

Midoriya muttered into his hands, "This isn't fair, Todoroki."

Shoto took a step for the door — unsurprised, somehow, that the response he finally received was not a real response at all. "So your reply," Shoto murmured, "is a non-reply?"

Midoriya was good at those. The only time Midoriya seemed certain of himself was when he recalled how much he desired to be the number one Hero, as wonderful as All Might. If Midoriya had no reply, that meant the next move would belong to Shoto.

What was Shoto going to do?

He was... he was going to leave, he decided. He was going to distance himself emotionally from everything Midoriya made him feel, from everything that had happened tonight. Shoto took another step toward the door. He could sleep on this in his own room, mull over it so as not to become rash, and then—

Partway to the door, Shoto's arm hairs stood on end.

A faint crackle rent the air and seemed to cause the sudden shift — as if Shoto could _hear_ as well as feel Midoriya's Quirk when it kicked in.

Shoto lunged for the door instantly... but he just wasn't fast enough.

Midoriya left the bed and materialized in front of Shoto while Shoto was still three paces from the door, cutting off any escape. The veins on Midoriya's exposed skin seemed to glow crimson with Quirk power, and zipping green light sparked around him.

Shoto backed off and lit his fire hand.

"Don't," Midoriya ordered. The fight went out of Midoriya in what seemed like an instant. He took a non-threatening pose.

Shoto hesitated. Then he let his flame flicker back out.

And inside, Shoto hated himself.

Why couldn't he ever tear himself away? If Midoriya wanted to keep arguing, and Shoto wanted to leave, couldn't Shoto _force_ Midoriya to move, then escape like he wanted to? Couldn't Shoto blast through Midoriya's dorm door, and retreat to his own dorm room? Would Shoto fail even at the part of a Villain? No matter what, it seemed he hung on Midoriya's every word. And that—

Midoriya stood breathing hard, seeming unsteady with his own emotion — or maybe with the effort of engaging his Quirk. "To ask me... to break the stalemate now..."

Shoto felt his eyes widen. Midoriya's green gaze glimmered in the moonlit dorm room like twin comets. Shoto recalled again that he was not the only angry person here. It was easier, he realized, to predict Midoriya when Midoriya was crying.

"Don't you think... that's unfair," Midoriya gritted, "when you've driven me into a corner as well, regarding my feelings for _you?_ We're the same!"

Shoto clenched his jaw and bit the inside of his lip. Midoriya still wasn't clear enough. "What do you mean?" he demanded.

Midoriya fisted his hands. "Todoroki... Why do you think it was so _easy_ for me to do the wrong thing, when it came to Kacchan? I don't resent you for looking out for me! It's made me happy that you want to be my hero! Even if it's wrong, I don't hate it... and that's why I became so lax with Kacchan!"

Shoto's heart pounded. His ears rang. Shoto had managed after all to pull Midoriya away from Bakugo? Was Midoriya admitting to an interest in Shoto?

Even after hearing it, a part of Shoto was afraid to trust Midoriya's husky words.

"I'm selfish for it — as selfish as you are. I've been scared to encourage you too much, though, because of it, because of how much I like your attention! Letting myself rely on you, or getting distracted by your charm... it threatens my idea of being a Hero like All Might, who manages to prioritize everyone. All Might is even nice to your father, and here _I've_ been underestimating Kacchan's difficulty because I'm so caught up with you! B-but I'm scared to let you _stop_ focusing on me, too — or to demand that you back off, because I wouldn't want to lose— I don't know what— Th-this has been so difficult..."

Shoto averted his eyes. He stared at the door that was mere steps away.

His attentions had made Midoriya happy, but also made Midoriya feel weakened and... distracted? Was that what Midoriya was saying?

"I'm not opposed to your feelings for me," Midoriya said evenly.

Shoto tried to show no facial expression, but hope inside him again went reeling, like birds taking flight for the warmth in winter.

"But I know that at this point, all I can give you is mixed signals." Midoriya sagged, as if defeated. "I... don't fall in love so easily. And forever, I've just been wrapped up in Kacchan, whatever those layered feelings are. Bit by bit, you've helped me understand that maybe there's something better for me, something I could want with all my heart, s-something with you, instead of with Kacchan — but I can't just jump into it, the way you have. I can't know yet! I'm not that brave, not that certain. And more than anything, I wouldn't want to _hurt_ you while I tried to figure it out, Todoroki!"

Shoto closed his eyes another time, and tried to take a few deep breaths. Midoriya was saying he might actually want Shoto the way Shoto wanted him, but that somehow, maybe because of Shoto's anger and confidence, Midoriya felt rushed into deciding.

Shoto had still been putting pressure on Midoriya after all.

"Midoriya. I'm sorry. I've..." Shoto had been too hasty. He'd gotten too carried away — with poison and adrenaline. With frayed nerves. With the never-ending tension.

Midoriya didn't seem to hear Shoto's apology. "I..." Midoriya let his face drop. But still, Midoriya didn't cry. His strength kept emanating, like a toaster putting out warmth. "I find more and more that I'm tempted by you, Todoroki. But— it's in a really juvenile way, I think. Because of your good looks, and how cool that you are, I'm caught. But that's not everything there is to falling in love with someone. That's not everything _you're_ feeling, right? If I can't return the deeper affection that you—" But Midoriya cut himself off, his gaze flicking up to Shoto's face... before trailing down the length of Shoto's body. As if he got distracted.

Shoto said, "Midoriya..." He shivered. He wasn't certain what to do.

His body acted for him.

His body seemed to want to take a risk. Shoto's left hand slowly rose. His fingertips were still heated from the flame he'd previously called... Heart thundering, Shoto touched and tilted Midoriya's chin upward.

Midoriya kept his eyes lowered, so that his eyelashes flickered.

Shoto's gaze wandered the face before him. What was the right thing, in this tense moment?

He pressed his thumb against Midoriya's mouth, when it seemed Midoriya would try more to talk. He ran his touch across the softness of Midoriya's lower lip, as if to call for more silence.

Shoto said, "This has turned into a mess." Midoriya's cheeks colored in the dim light. "But if you don't want me to leave you alone, and if you don't hate me for how I like you... then I am going to be here. I'm not going to make you rush."

Midoriya's green eyes lifted, dark with something like sadness, or maybe apology.

Shoto murmured very slowly, as if it would help form his point. "Take your time, Midoriya. Your romantic reciprocation continues to be secondary to my simple desire to stay by your side." He meant it.

So why was his body moving? Shoto took a half step closer.

Midoriya's hand closed on Shoto's wrist — but Midoriya held Shoto's hand in place, rather than pressing Shoto's touch aside. "My romantic reciprocation," Midoriya murmured. "What about _physical_ reciprocation?" He couldn't meet Shoto's eyes.

Shoto leaned in, running his touch along Midoriya's mouth another time... feeling the exhale of Midoriya's breath. Was Midoriya worried that Shoto would try to take advantage of him? "I'm not asking for it." Then Shoto blinked when the words left his mouth.

Shoto blinked... and he backed off.

He had almost forgotten his manners. If he wasn't asking for reciprocation, then he should not make physical advances, as he was just doing now. Who was he, to press Midoriya into something like this? Who was he, to lose control?

Even if Midoriya had finally admitted a level of interest in Shoto back, a physical attraction, that didn't mean Midoriya wanted—

Midoriya moved in again. "You wouldn't ask it of me," Midoriya said, "I know. But I'm saying, o-out of curiosity, what would happen if _I_... um...?"

Shoto's throat felt parched. He had... He had not expected Midoriya to be bold. Not that Midoriya looked like he would make a move right now. But Midoriya was thinking about it; Shoto could tell by examining Midoriya's thoughtful brow, and measuring again Midoriya's flush. The floor felt like it moved beneath Shoto.

He didn't know how to respond. Would _Shoto_ be comfortable, if those physical lines got tangled or crossed? He'd not wondered before, because—

He let his hand drift again, this time to cup the curve of Midoriya's jaw. Shoto bent to bring their lips even. "Midoriya, be clear. Do you—"

The door behind them banged open.

Midoriya would have jumped a mile... if Shoto had released him.

A laden dinner tray thrust itself through Midoriya's door at once, held in the air by a hand both Shoto and Midoriya could recognize.

"I have arrived!" came the call. "For the boy who neglected to eat enough dinner because of Young Bakugo, I bring you— Y-Young Midoriya!" All Might clapped eyes upon Midoriya and froze.

Midoriya grabbed Shoto's hand and tore it aware from his face, while Shoto wondered if a person could die of embarrassment. Then Midoriya hollered like a child, high-pitched, as embarrassed as Shoto was. "A-All Miiiiight! I told you to knock!"

All Might looked further in the room. Shoto met the Pro Hero's gaze; they gaped at each other with eyes wide.

All Might was the first to form further words. "Y-Y-Y-Young Todoroki, are you finally making—? I see. Making a move! Pardon!" With a dramatic bow, a sweat drop, and a slam, All Might retreated again... carrying Midoriya's fresh new dinner tray back out with him.

Midoriya covered his face and groaned.

Shoto could hear All Might out in the hall.

 _Ah hah hah hah! Y-Youth! But I think Young Midoriya is going to get devoured, if Young Todoroki's prowess on the training field is any— what on earth am I thinking? Stop that, All Might! As the number one Hero, I believe I should..._

Shoto just put his face into his palm.

Midoriya's door thundered open again. "Interference is called for in this case!" All Might pointed with his free hand. "Young Todoroki, I must advise you—"

Shoto lowered his hands — palms facing outward so that All Might could see them. He stepped away from Midoriya and sighed, then gave All Might a tiny nod. "I haven't done anything strange to him."

All Might was like a father in this case, right?

"Wh... Whatever you want to do is ultimately none of my business, I think... Ah, but—" All Might tried to chuckle. Probably the entire dorm floor could hear him.

Shoto wondered how he and Midoriya would handle the student chatter later, if anybody mentioned this.

Appearing strained, All Might deposited Midoriya's food tray into Midoriya's hands. "But it's my duty as teacher and guardian to make sure it involves consent! Consent, do you hear me, Young Todoroki?"

"Consent," Shoto repeated, calm.

He made his way out at last through the door; it wasn't difficult to slip around the deflated form of All Might. Sometimes Shoto didn't believe his own life.

As he retreated, he took a breath that coated his body in a thin, frosty sheen of much-needed cool. All Might had a point, in the end. Midoriya had implied things, but hadn't explicitly said—

"T-Todoroki," Midoriya peeped, sounding like a lost baby chick. Shoto scuffed to a halt, a pace now down the hall. "I... I want us to discuss this again later. Finish discussing it. Is that okay?"

Shoto answered honestly, registering at last how helpless he was when it came to Midoriya. "If that's what you want... at some point, you'll have it."

All Might's voice echoed, distraught. "If you're going to use euphemism, young men, then pick a less cliched one than 'discussion!'"

Shoto walked to take the stairs, rather than employing the elevators, torn between blushing and rolling his eyes.


	11. Provisional License Exams

Shoto was not sure how to manage the point he and Midoriya had now come to. He decided that — for the moment at least — it was best not to think about it.

It was dinner time at the dorms. Thirteen and Midnight were the two teachers on guard that evening in the cafeteria. The menu this time included soba, the cold kind — which was Shoto's favorite. A calming, steadying comfort food.

Shoto loaded his plate with the soba noodles, and for another moment didn't think, beyond reflecting that this felt like school, despite still technically being UA's summer break. Shoto should be glad, he supposed, that thanks to the new boarding school implementation, he didn't have to spend any of his break back at his own home.

After arranging his soba and its sauce on his plate, Shoto found himself considering a seat at the tables. He hadn't been planning to eat dinner here... but Uraraka, of all people, seemed to have decided she wanted to hail him.

Shoto hesitated in his steps. He'd planned to carry his soba noodles to his room, to eat alone there. He'd wanted to take solace in the traditional Japanese atmosphere and the quiet.

His cheeks still burned every time he thought of what had almost happened in Midoriya's room, a night ago. They hadn't yet had the rest of their 'discussion' with each other, and—

"Geez, Todoroki— I said over here!" Now Uraraka was waving.

Shoto directed himself to her table. At it also sat Iida, Asui... and Midoriya.

Haltingly, Shoto passed Yaoyorozu and Tokoyami at _their_ table. If Shoto had wanted to sit anywhere, and socialize in any sense, he would have sat down with those two instead.

Yaoyorozu smiled at Shoto as he passed, as if in private sympathy; she knew how quiet he could be and that he didn't like to socialize. Tokoyami, on the other hand... Tokoyami just watched Shoto pass, his facial feathers wrinkling as if his forehead creased in a frown. Was Shoto were being analyzed? Could Tokoyami sense that Shoto was uncomfortable lately? Did he know it had something to do with Midoriya Izuku?

Shoto had started worrying he grew too easy to read. When he breezed past Tokoyami with a nod he hoped appeared natural... he saw Dark Shadow peep out from behind Tokoyami. Dark Shadow, too, watched Shoto pass.

"Come sit, come sit," Uraraka beckoned, pointing to her table's open seat. Of course, the one beside Midoriya.

Before Shoto resigned himself to his fate, he glanced across the cafeteria one more time... to the table in the corner that hid partially behind the entrance doors. Kirishima was there again.

Across from Kirishima sat Bakugo.

Shoto sighed, and from across the room, he gave Kirishima a tiny nod. Kirishima responded with a blatant wave... and Shoto saw Bakugo tense.

Bakugo hadn't been around the dorms at all that morning. But he hadn't been expelled. And Midoriya hadn't tried to say anything at all to Bakugo through the rest of the day, that Shoto had noticed.

"Oh, you got the soba? Good, good," Uraraka beamed at him. "S-Sit right there next to Deku and tell us about the practice you've been doing for your special moves!"

Iida nodded, making a sharp, robotic gesture with his arm.

Asui flapped her tongue and said, "Kero!"

It didn't take Shoto long to assess the situation at the table. Asui looked relaxed as always, probably only along for the ride, or to offer her calm rationale if anyone got rambunctious. The tiny, wry grin she often wore stayed focused, as usual, on who she so fondly liked to address as 'Ochako.' Iida looked stiff, at the end of some rope — like he was trying to put on his bravest face and keep his energy up in the face of challenge. Midoriya looked confused... and Uraraka was laughing too much, at seemingly nothing, casting about blatheringly to make an enormous amount of conversation.

Shoto wondered exactly what had been said the moment before Uraraka had called him to sit at their table. It was plain Shoto had been invited as a distraction.

"What's going on?" Shoto asked Midoriya in a low voice, ignoring Uraraka... who was still talking too brightly at the air.

Midoriya glanced at him, then flushed. Shoto did his best not to think of how much the flush suited Midoriya's adorableness; he put down his tray of soba and sat down.

Midoriya replied, "I... I was talking about my plans for more support items with Hatsume a moment ago. Then Uraraka suddenly wanted to discuss everyone's special moves, and what we plan to do with them these last days of our break."

Shoto picked up his chopsticks. He slurped a mouthful of soba. The taste soothed Shoto head to toe, like standing outside in a breeze after a demanding beach jog. After he swallowed, he said, "Ah."

So Uraraka was two things — still lacking in her own self confidence about her particular special move, and jealous that Midoriya had spent time with Hatsume.

Shoto felt bad that Uraraka's emotions so frequently seemed to get in the way of her training and potential. He thought Uraraka talented enough... but he himself was apparently much better at managing his attraction toward Midoriya. Shoto didn't let his emotions affect his actions when it came to his Quirk and perfecting it. Shoto wasn't about to get so distracted that he couldn't compose himself in front of others, or focus on his improvement and studies.

"Todoroki," Midoriya said, suddenly scooting an inch farther away. He clutched his thighs with rigid hands, and refused to look anywhere at Shoto.

Shoto's chopsticks wavered near his mouth. Why did Midoriya have to look so cute when he did— well, when he did _anything_?

"You've splashed soba sauce on the corner of your... of your mouth." Midoriya's flush darkened from pink to red.

It took Shoto's mind a moment to catch up. Then he made sense of Midoriya's shyness at the thought of attention brought to Shoto's mouth. Midoriya was thinking about—? No, Midoriya _couldn't_ be thinking about things like that right here, Shoto decided.

But... if he was...

Shoto set his chopsticks down at once, reaching immediately for a napkin. In the rough, papery napkin wrinkles, he buried his own instant and steaming flush.

Midoriya's knees shifted, and then he wriggled a bit more.

Shoto did not dare lower his napkin. He was going to come apart. Surely, surely things weren't going to progress in between them _like this?_ This brand of special torture was—

"Gosh, isn't anybody listening to me?"

Asui raised her hand. "I am, Ochako-chan. Kero." But Asui had her tongue stuck out, thoughtful, and she fixed Shoto with a sudden and appraising, wide-eyed stare while one finger hung at the edge of her mouth.

Shoto's soba suddenly looked like a knot of unappetizing shoelaces. He didn't want to eat. His heart fluttered.

He rather wanted something else.

Uraraka talked on again, her fist in the air, her words energetic and loud.

"We..." Midoriya murmured quietly in Shoto's direction, beneath Uraraka's inspirational tirade. "We need to talk about... well. L-last night after we— Todoroki, I—"

"I don't think I'm feeling well." Shoto stood rather suddenly, despite the whole table suddenly looking at him, exclaiming their worry when he announced it. He picked up his tray of soba.

He started to retrace his steps, to leave the cafeteria. He glanced back only once, to see Midoriya putting his face and his hands, and Asui asking, "Kero?"

As he passed Tokoyami and Yaoyorozu, Shoto put his soba down on the open chair beside Dark Shadow. "I decided I'm not hungry. Eat that for me so it isn't wasted, if you're going to keep looking so concerned about everything I'm up to like you want to be involved in it."

Dark Shadow seemed to lift a shadowy eyebrow. _"Is eating that what's making you so different?"_ The sentient Quirk cocked his head.

Tokoyami's arms folded. "Dark Shadow is a shadow, Todoroki. He doesn't eat food. I do."

"But he gets tired. So you've said. It makes sense to assume he needs to be fed."

"Are _you_ tired, or something else?"

Shoto twitched, his temper beginning to show itself, watching as Yaoyorozu rescued his soba and tried to decide what she should do with it. To Tokoyami, he replied, "I'm fine. I'll see you around." He tried to keep his face the placid mask people often insisted it was. He made his way again toward the door, wondering why he felt the need in the first place to shut any strange thoughts or rumors down in other students before they started.

Still. If Tokoyami wanted to ask Shoto questions, he could do it later in private. Shoto suspected, however, that the crow was more likely to let it drop and respect Shoto's privacy if Shoto was the first one to address any suspicion by having said, _I'm fine_.

But Tokoyami was easy to get along with. Shrewd, mature, able to reserve judgement. Yaoyorozu was the same. The rest of Class A might not hold back so easily on the teasing or questioning... even if Asui cut in to try to keep their energy at bay. Shoto knew it might only be a matter of time before most of Class A decided it wanted to take interest in his private affairs. They'd wonder what, if anything, was going on between Shoto and Midoriya. When All Might had stormed Midoriya's room and found Shoto there, after all, he'd made a racket in the hall on Midoriya's second floor.

When Shoto passed the table that housed Mineta, Kaminari, and Sero, Mineta flashed Shoto a somewhat private and lecherous thumbs up. It almost made Shoto shudder. He thought Mineta's perverted show of support might have also been trying to veil a disgusted grimace. If Mineta secretly didn't approve of attractions between males... well, Shoto assumed Mineta still wouldn't make an outward fuss. Shoto's lack of interest in women probably meant he dropped out of Mineta's 'hierarchy' of boys in their class, and could no longer be competition. At least there was that for small comfort. He still wanted to ice Mineta to his chair as he passed... but finally, Shoto fled the cafeteria without more than his minor incidents.

And that... That was the way everything seemed to go, in the few weeks that followed. Curiosity and questions directed at him here and there — tame, but still uncomfortable, as their summer break ended and classes started up again. Gentle prying. Awkwardness. Fluttering sensations in Shoto's chest when it came to Midoriya specifically. Little moments now between Shoto and Midoriya were building to something Shoto had not expected — or at least, never planned for... because he'd never dared to imagine Midoriya might return the physical part of his feelings.

Midoriya wasn't in love with him, though.

Not that Shoto was going to forget that was the case, but... things were feeling complex now. Midoriya had expressed he didn't want to hurt Shoto with mixed signals, but since Midoriya clearly didn't deny that he found Shoto appealing, Shoto still felt like the signals _were_ mixed. Midoriya wasn't shameless or aggressive about his attraction on any account, but it was clear neither of them knew what to do about sharing this... mutual appreciation for each other's looks, or how they should proceed from here.

They definitely had to talk.

The rest of their 'discussion' came at last, before homeroom one morning that had — until then — seemed blessedly normal. It started with Shoto rounding the corner of the hall toward their classroom door. He halted when he saw Bakugo at the door ahead of him, about to enter.

Bakugo froze when he heard Shoto's steps; his hand didn't quite touch the handle on the door. And just behind Bakugo, steps down the hall — apparently dragging his feet on purpose so he wouldn't get too close — was Midoriya.

Midoriya saw Shoto too, and then stopped. He scratched his head, shooting Shoto an embarrassed, apologetic smile that said he had no idea what he should do. Shoto decided Midoriya had only ended up following Bakugo to homeroom by accident, and now Midoriya must be trying his best to avoid notice or confrontation.

Bakugo stayed rigid at the door. His eyes slid sideways to Shoto... and he let out a hateful grunt. Then he looked the other direction — at Midoriya — and simply frowned.

Midoriya laughed nervously.

Bakugo said nothing. He returned his eyes to Shoto. Shoto returned the steady glare for what seemed like a half minute. In time, Bakugo stiffened, blinked, opened the classroom door, and stalked inside, letting the door slam after him.

Shoto looked at Midoriya. Midoriya's eyes had fallen to the floor; his shoulders rose as he took a breath. Shoto blinked, convinced himself that he wouldn't read into Midoriya's seeming feelings of conflict, and headed calmly for the classroom door himself.

At that, Midoriya crossed the hall and stopped Shoto. He led Shoto a good ways off from the familiar 1-A door — back in the direction Shoto had come. When Midoriya spoke low, he didn't bother with usual greetings. "I'm sorry about Kacchan," he said quickly. "He and I haven't been speaking. Of more concern I think is that things are getting strained between you and me."

Shoto tried not to admire the glimpse of skin at Midoriya's throat. Midoriya hadn't gotten his tie on properly today, either? Did he ever? After doing it _every day?_

Maybe Shoto should teach him how.

"Todoroki."

Shoto snapped his eyes upward. "Mm."

Midoriya chewed his lip. "Pay attention. We... we have to address... It's too hard for me not to think lately about the possibility of— of you and I potentially—" Midoriya shoved fingers into his hair. "Uggh, Todoroki, what do we _do?_ I've never been in a situation like this before!"

Shoto felt uncomfortable, and he didn't know what to say. He chose to respond in defense — or maybe stall — with a question. "Can you clarify what you mean? I'm not sure what you're having problems with."

Midoriya glowered and looked more frazzled. "You really are the type to need to straightforward answers just like you told me, aren't you?" He paused. "Fine." Midoriya drew himself to his full height... and next appeared defiant. "Your appealing traits — they're really beginning to distract me!"

Shoto looked Midoriya up and down. This bluntness and resolution... This was a side of Midoriya he would need time to digest. And... Midoriya was blaming Shoto for the repercussions of their blossoming attraction? Midoriya was blaming Shoto for making Midoriya... distracted.

"Midoriya," Shoto said, not wanting to feel like he pressured Midoriya again. "It's not as if I've been walking around with the aim of seducing you."

"Even so—!"

"Whether we're in public or alone, I try to compartmentalize what I feel for you. I've been thinking my feelings don't have a place in most of our interactions — especially because you haven't officially returned those feelings, remember?" Shoto stared a moment, growing further disgruntled, while Midoriya just groaned and scowled.

Why on earth was Shoto the one being blamed? It wasn't as if Midoriya didn't occasionally distract Shoto also. And Shoto had to bear it all in silence, with one eye always on the rest of their class. On Midoriya's emotional state, too.

Was Midoriya just frustrated that Shoto was more mature, and better able to press distractions that involved the both of them aside?

Shoto said, "If you can't control your casual dirty thoughts about me—"

"Ah! D-d-d-d-don't put it that way!" Midoriya suddenly swung a fist, and Shoto dodged it expertly. It seemed to have been a half-hearted swing — but Midoriya's flustered voice came full power despite that it was a whisper. "It-it's not like I don't have control! Are you always this difficult? It's just that, since you put your feelings out in the open so bluntly, on the physical side of it, too, and now I've had a chance to think about it... I'm realizing it's dangerous in some ways. At least to my studies! I-I can't focus! Because I really do think you... And that's not just something to brush off, is it?" Midoriya sounded helpless.

Shoto did his best to use humor. He attempted to finish Midoriya's most recent unfinished sentence, instead of addressing the rest. "You really do think I... what? Am at least as attractive on a scale of one to ten as Bakugo was in the hot springs, after all? Am I supposed to dislike that, or tell you how to combat it?"

"Will you quit joking around? The fact that you're so hot isn't funny!"

Shoto sighed and rubbed the space between his eyes with his right hand, because Midoriya flushed red and stiffened like he'd strike out again. If Shoto wasn't careful, he would give himself a brain freeze, trying to massage and cool away his reactions like this—

"You're cool, Todoroki — but also _hot_. The hot part has been getting to me, okay?"

Shoto shivered from his head to his feet. Why did Midoriya have to say it in a breathy tone like that?

"I keep going back and thinking about when you breathed on my fingers... That's bad right now, isn't it? I don't want to mess up our friendship, or make it harder for me to sort myself out!"

So... Midoriya resented his attraction to Shoto at present? At least Midoriya knew he needed to be sorted out.

What a mess, Shoto thought to himself. But perhaps Shoto was a hypocrite and was a mess as well. Yes, he definitely was, he decided — because right now he could hardly fight the images brought to mind by Midoriya's liking for the heat Shoto had employed on his fingers.

"I can't just 'compartmentalize' all that! But also, I'm trying to be really serious here when I address it! I don't want to make you uncomfortable." Midoriya whispered in a hiss again, probably so his voice wouldn't carry down the hall or into their nearby homeroom. "And I don't want to cross lines I shouldn't, considering you're right, and I haven't returned your romantic feelings, and we're not anything like an item, or even friends with benefits..."

Shoto let out a short groan. Midoriya was thinking about the two of them like _that?_

Would Shoto ever allow such intimate contact with no strings attached? That seemed... complicated, despite that most people treated it as the total opposite. Shoto was more simple. And pure, he thought. _Pure_ in his feelings of love toward Midoriya, he told himself rigidly. He didn't think he could go halfway, and treat Midoriya as a friend who also happened to be a convenient sex object. Shoto might prefer never to lay a hand on Midoriya at all, if he had to choose between friends only or friends with certain benefits.

"But— uggh, Todoroki, this feels like torture!" Midoriya seemed at last to be finished; he leaned against the wall and sagged.

A moment passed. Shoto thought he agreed... but he uttered nothing.

"I thought we could somehow solve this together. Don't you have anything to say?"

Shoto considered whether he did, then said, "Yes. You have the most disconcerting and inconvenient, yet adorable way of telling me I turn you on."

Midoriya let out a screech that he muffled with both his hands. "Ah— why do you have to be so direct?!"

"The direct one is you, Midoriya." Shoto blinked. As convoluted as this was, Shoto was glad Midoriya had taken the initiative to try to bridge the gap in between them... but that said, there were still problems.

If this was how they communicated desire for each other, there was a bit of a mis-match. A clash of sorts in their methods of approach, a difficulty in piecing together communications and deciphering what next steps to take. Was Shoto horrible at communicating, or was Midoriya the one to blame? Were the two of them incompatible when it came down to that sort of relationship?

Shoto was beginning to understand why the only word Bakugo had managed to assign to _his_ relationship with Midoriya had been 'complicated.' Was everything involving Midoriya always this complex?

He let his eyes rove Midoriya's scowling, wrinkling face, wanting to smooth the wrinkles with his hands. "What do you want?" Shoto asked him softly. "What you need me to do for you?"

Would Shoto have to consider for real the idea of friends with benefits? Would Midoriya feel less 'distracted' if Shoto gave Midoriya an outlet for his... sexual frustration, somewhere outside of class? But how would Shoto feel about doing that? And what if jumping into something like that only confused Midoriya's overall feelings about Shoto more?

And what if Bakugo got wind of it?

Midoriya said, "I just—"

The door to Class 1-A's homeroom slid open, and Aizawa stuck his exhausted-looking face out the door. "Oy, you two. Get in here. Or didn't you realize the bell already rang? You couldn't hear Iida hollering for students to take their seats? You didn't hear me enter the class from the direction behind you in the hall? Should I tell everyone what it was you were talking about, or just make it easier and expel you?"

Midoriya yelped loud enough to startle the pigeons on the windowsill outside.

Shoto followed him into class, wishing for the first time that he was allowed to kick UA teachers.

They couldn't be so careless, Shoto thought, or everyone in the entire _school_ would know he and Midoriya were interested in each other.

Then Shoto wondered, _Would that be so bad?_ After all... worse things had happened. Like All Might's retirement.

So then, _that_ was the _new_ thought that plagued Shoto's mind, as days passed, and talk began about taking their Provisional Hero License exams. Would it be worth the giggles and the stares to stop hiding from the class and the UA teachers what might be developing between him and Midoriya? All Might certainly already knew. Aizawa knew, but probably didn't care. Kirishima had implied once that _everyone_ knew Shoto wished to stake claims on Midoriya. But what if Uraraka confronted them? Was Shoto prepared to hurt her by directly admitting he and Midoriya shared an attraction? What if _Bakugo_ —

Shoto sighed.

What it came down to, like it always did, was what Midoriya wanted. If their first 'discussions' on the topic had ended in stammering and bright blushes, then certainly they'd have to address it between them again — as many times as necessary, until Midoriya made some decision. Until they both were comfortable, and Midoriya could put into words what it was he ultimately wished.

And Shoto? He would resolve not to press. He would back off and bide his time while Midoriya decided. Shoto was a behaved, good boy — at least when he was not rampaging inwardly about his father. The realization that Midoriya threatened his restraint nearly as much as Midoriya claimed Shoto threatened _his_ was a reality Shoto would have to overcome... perhaps once the License exams were over. At that point, Shoto could hone his tactics and start to feel confident again about dealing with Midoriya.

The day of their License exams drew nearer. And then it came upon them in a whirl of other Hero schools.

The first section of the exam was not as hard as Shoto thought. But the second part, the rescue part...

He really messed up. Terribly.

Shoto did not like being compared to his good-for-nothing father Endeavor by Yoarashi — the one with the wind Quirk. And he liked even less that afterward — even less than he liked that he'd _failed the exam_ — that he'd realized Yoarashi wasn't wrong.

Shoto had cultivated back then, before he'd met Midoriya, a special type of tunnel vision. He'd only been able to focus on thwarting Endeavor. In so doing, Shoto had neglected to see that his attitude came to resemble that of the very man he so hated.

The man he never wanted to be like. The man who would have _loved_ it and never let Shoto live it down, if he'd known Shoto had acted like his clone in the end after all.

Facing his past mistake regarding his treatment of Yoarashi and his current mistake of getting careless during the exam... Those were not proud moments for Shoto. Even so, Shoto left the Provisional Hero License exams feeling lighter somehow.

At least, he thought, he _realized_ he still had inner work to do in terms of overcoming the blight of his father. The first step to overcoming a challenge was to recognize what it was. Shoto's new challenge was finding a solution to the Endeavor issue, because apparently, it hadn't yet been resolved. Somehow, Shoto would resolve it this time. He just had to. Somehow.

And he would also get back to the issue of Midoriya. It had not escaped Shoto that — once again — he'd only been able to snap out of his own folly and hatred and _have_ realizations because Midoriya had called out to him. _What the hell are you doing?!_ Midoriya had yelled, cutting in on Shoto's petty squabble... and rescuing a bystander that Shoto's actions would have harmed.

 _What the hell, indeed,_ Shoto thought now.

Back in his dorm room, Shoto collapsed on his back, atop his mattress after taking a shower. He looked up at the ceiling lights and fan. He did a breathing exercise... and decided to muse more about his father.

A timid knock came on his door just as Shoto was wondering if he was doomed to struggle in Endeavor's shadow forever. Was he haunted, as if his father were a persistent, flaming youkai?

"Who is it?" Shoto grunted. He wasn't sure who to expect. Everyone else had milled about in the common area after returning from the exam.

A murmur sounded through the crack of the door, one slightly shy and furtive. "It's just me. Ah— it's Deku. Er, M-Midoriya. Izuku?" Midoriya spoke as if he had trouble deciding how to label himself when he was addressing Shoto.

Shoto sat up on his mattress, his heart pounding. The two of them still had so much to work on.

"I was wondering if—"

"Come in," Shoto ordered.

Midoriya had come upstairs, but hadn't even messaged first? Not that the two of them too often sent each other messages.

Yes, they still had a lot to work on. How could it be that so much time had passed, and now they could talk about attractions, but still be like children wavering on balance beams when trying to be simple friends? Surely Midoriya didn't falter when addressing his other close classmates like Iida or Uraraka?

When Midoriya tried the door, he found Shoto had left it unlocked. Midoriya halted just inside the room, his eyes scanning the space. He grinned. "I always forget how traditional you keep everything in your room until I see it."

"Everything in my family's house is like this, too," Shoto told him.

Saying so made Shoto wonder if he should be ripping his whole dorm room down and redecorating. Maybe the first step of escaping Endeavor would be to stop living inside a room that called up similar feelings as Shoto's family home — where Endeavor completely ruled. Except Shoto honestly _liked_ the tatami and the low tables and—

"I... um." Midoriya shut the door gently behind him, but didn't come inside more. "The truth is, Todoroki, I wanted to come see you... because I'm a little worried."

Shoto sat up straighter on his mattress. And then he leaned against the wall. "Have I been guilty of seducing you by simply existing again?"

He watched Midoriya color. All Shoto did was sigh and pat his mattress, letting Midoriya know that he could come in and sit down if he wished.

After a moment, Midoriya _did_ come sit down. Shoto felt the mattress depress next to him. He watched Midoriya lean his back also against the wall.

Midoriya asked, "Did you run off on your own today for the first part of the exam because..." And then Midoriya trailed off. His brow made one trench-like wrinkle.

"I went alone partly because it was easier for me to use my Quirk that way... and partly because I was worried I would distract you," Shoto said, "if we stayed in a group and formed the team you wanted everyone to form." He tried to keep his answer monotone — so he didn't sound accusing, patronizing, or anything worse.

Shoto had wanted Midoriya to pass. The thought of Midoriya failing to get his Provisional License because he saw Shoto's hair wet with sweat from using flames or something... Shoto would not have been able to bear that, as flattering in some ways as it might have been.

Midoriya stayed quiet a long time. Shoto could hear him breathing, but that was all. Not even one mutter left him.

Then Midoriya said, "But if you had stayed, maybe you wouldn't have gotten so carried away off on your own, encountering that guy from the other school during the latter half of the exam. _That's_ what I'm worried about, Todoroki. What on earth were you thinking? How could you be that careless?"

Shoto leaned his head on the wall. Then he sighed and looked at Midoriya, who leaned forward and drew his knees up so he could wrap his arms around them. He realized what Midoriya might be thinking.

"It wasn't anything to do with you and I. Or Bakugo," Shoto told him. Midoriya didn't shift. "It's things with my father again, bugging me. I guess my anger made me carried away. And even that is no excuse." Shoto knew how badly he'd messed up, but somehow it seemed worse with Midoriya here to chide him for it.

"Endeavor." Midoriya said the new number one Hero's name quietly.

Without even looking, Shoto could tell that Midoriya frowned. He wondered if Midoriya was just as uneasy as a lot of the public was with Endeavor at the top now. But when Midoriya spoke again, he didn't say the skeptical things about Endeavor that Shoto expected.

"Do I need to attack you or yell again, to remind you that you're different from your father?"

Shoto considered that for a long time. He recalled their school festival fight. "Possibly."

"Well, that's too bad," Midoriya said. Shoto glanced at him in surprise. "It's hard to want to hit you any more, unless I'm getting flustered about how annoyingly good-looking you are."

Shoto let out a wry laugh, as a breath of air through his nose. Midoriya sounded grudging, but still... Shoto appreciated the honesty and straightforwardness.

Midoriya tucked his head into his knees. "The best I can do now is try to talk to you, to help you out. I know I'm not great at talking. I think it's why I've done poorly with Kacchan. He and I... we've never talked — about _any_ kind of feelings. Or even thoughts. I want to refuse to make the same mistakes with you... but Todoroki, I don't know what else to say to you regarding Endeavor, other than what I already have. You're not the same people at all."

"You don't really have to say anything more. That simple truth is all of it. On one level, I know you're right... So it's my fault, not yours, if I can't stop worrying and get it through my two-colored head." Shoto ruffled his white and red hair when Midoriya glanced up. He wanted to lighten the mood.

Midoriya's shoulders only tensed, and he put his head down again. "I can't believe you didn't pass," he groaned.

"But _you_ did, so you should celebrate. Have you let All Might see your license yet? You've gotten stronger, haven't you?"

Midoriya said, "Are you teasing me?"

Shoto kept speaking his thoughts, since Midoriya's question didn't seem resentful. "No. I've noticed lately how attentive you've been, and how much you've improved, that's all. Even though your arms are weak points now, and you've had to avoid further damage to them by learning to focus your effort on your legs, you haven't stopped training yourself to make sure your arms don't fall behind or get neglected. It's a lot better than I've done trying to use both sides of my Quirk at the same time."

"'Attentive,'" Midoriya murmured. It sounded neither like a question nor a statement.

Shoto went on, following the lines in his tatami mats with his eyes... so he didn't stare at the exposed back of Midoriya's neck. "Midoriya... the way you've chosen to focus on your legs instead... it's finally helped me relax my worry. It seems like you've started taking everyone's concern about your condition seriously." Now maybe Midoriya wouldn't be so quick to hurt himself when he engaged his Quirk. And Shoto wouldn't have to put so much stress on himself to protect Midoriya.

Even though Shoto _wanted_ to help and protect Midoriya... Shoto couldn't deny that in times like now, it was a relief Midoriya had his Quirk power under control. In order for Shoto to avoid making mistakes, in order to face the issue of Endeavor... Shoto had to focus on himself.

Not having to fear for Midoriya's safety truly helped.

There was a silence. Then Midoriya said again, "Attentive. You think I am. But Todoroki... it's you who manages to think about and notice almost everything. You're always focusing on me, aren't you."

"I can't help that. I like you."

Midoriya's ears turned red; he hadn't taken his head out of his lap. "I know. But I don't like that when I come to you, concerned for you, and when there's something big that's bothering you... you turn the conversation back to me. How am I supposed to be attentive to and support _you_ if you hardly ever let me? Romantic feelings aside, isn't support what friends are supposed to do?" Midoriya lifted his face again at last. He glanced helplessly at Shoto.

Shoto considered whether he should say what he longed to. Then he shrugged and took the risk. "Haven't I told you before that all I really need is you? That time, when you were upset about All Might's fight, and I came by your apartment to see you... I was bothered about my rotten old man then, too. But seeing you was enough to cheer me up."

"Todoroki, you're impossible!"

Midoriya's childlike upset tempted Shoto to chuckle — but he held the urge back. He just cocked his head to the side. "Is there something else you wish you could say or do, besides just existing somewhere in my close vicinity? You're complaining... but if you think about it, your role here is an easy support job." Shoto tried not to swallow. He was still trying so hard not to put Midoriya under pressure... but Midoriya still wasn't happy?

If Midoriya thought he was ready to offer Shoto something more—

"You're not being fair," Midoriya told him. "I want to comfort you! In—in a way where I feel like I'm _doing_ something, or like my words are really reaching you. I don't want to just sit here, and blather on with what's not helpful! You can _say_ all I have to do is be present — but how does that help with _my_ side of the worry? How do I know you really mean it when you say it's all you need? Maybe I want to do something normal and natural together to prove everything's okay, like last time, something that will assuage both of us. Like playing a game, or having you make another ice sculpture on the floor, or—"

"I might get wet if I do that."

"Oh, stop! I'm serious, Todoroki — how do I help, and let you know you're important? How do I know you aren't just playing cool and 'compartmentalizing' now for me?"

So that was it. That last part was what bothered Midoriya most.

Shoto had made Midoriya worry that he would bottle up too much, and never discuss or reveal anything — after the other 'discussions' between them had turned so awkward and gone, well... nowhere. And after Midoriya claiming he'd done poorly with Bakugo, because he and 'Kacchan' had never talked.

"I'm not Bakugo," Shoto said softly. "Midoriya... if there are no words between us, nothing is going to explode."

Midoriya fisted the sheets of Shoto's mattress under him. Slowly, slowly Shoto watched Midoriya seem to loosen. Then Midoriya asked, "What about actions? If there's anything I can do to relieve some of the pressure on you..."

Shoto eyes widened. And then he rolled them so hard it almost hurt. "That sounds like a euphemism All Might wouldn't want to hear."

"Th-that isn't what I meant and you know it!"

"Actually, lately, I _don't_ know how inappropriately you're thinking or not. Or when. It's getting confusing." Shoto kept his voice light and innocent. When Midoriya released a muffled groan, Shoto pretended to be fascinated by his ceiling fan. He wouldn't say anything further than that to remind Midoriya to sort himself out and avoid mixed signals.

When nothing else happened, Shoto said, "You're helping, by just being here." He hoped Midoriya could tell that he was being serious again. He wasn't sure what he would do if Midoriya still couldn't understand how simple it was to make Shoto feel as contented as a prince.

All Shoto needed was to see Midoriya now and then like he'd seen Midoriya leaning out his apartment window — casually existing.

A moment passed, and Midoriya sprawled his legs alongside Shoto's and leaned back on the wall, mirroring him. They watched Shoto's ceiling fan make lazy rounds. "It doesn't feel like enough, though," Midoriya muttered.

Shoto debated a moment. He wasn't sure how much leeway he had, or whether he wanted to muddle the waters already so muddy between them. But ultimately, he reached around the back of Midoriya's shoulders with his closest arm.

He tucked his fingers into the fluff of Midoriya's hair, and pulled Midoriya's head in toward his shoulder.

When Midoriya's head touched down, Midoriya tightened, but didn't pull back. Shoto kept his hand buried in Midoriya's soft, dark locks, holding him there — as if his action asked Midoriya, _Feel better? Will this do?_

It wasn't a hug, but for Shoto at least... it would work about as well. This closeness felt comforting and safe; the single point of intimate contact was all Shoto would dare for now. With how his heart was pounding, Shoto reckoned it was all he could handle.

After a moment, Midoriya relaxed; Shoto felt Midoriya's body sink more into the mattress. Another moment passed, and Midoriya said, "Is this really all you need, at a time like this?"

Shoto nodded, holding Midoriya close. He could smell the fresh scent of Midoriya's shampoo. "Yes," he said — although something inside him screamed for more, in carnal ways.

He battled his desire down.

Shoto was a good, behaved boy.

"Yes, this is enough," he said.

* * *

 **Author Note:** _Todoroki, you are such a liar, and I'm sure that's going to catch up to you. I can't help myself... Even though I support Todoroki's love endeavors (ha, "Endeavor") I have that little ditty in my head that says, "Nice guys finish last!" Todoroki... you're too nice for your own good, and Midoriya has no clue what he's doing. Maybe you need to start being more of a "bad boy."_

 _Actually, on that note, I have had some trouble writing this story lately. Lately all the characters are difficult to handle. I know my vision for the outcome, and I know it's time to amp up the interactions between Midoriya and Todoroki... but, man. It has been slow going! I've finished catching up to the manga at least (I haven't seen a new update since Chapter 166; I hope that's right?), but I am still lacking inspiration... and every time I try to write more, I find that Bakugo keeps inserting himself (ha, ha!) into my plans more than I wanted him to be there._

Basically I think I feel like Todoroki; confused and frustrated about what to do next, because when considering Midoriya, it's impossible not to consider Bakugo as well, even if I want to brush him aside. Uggh, Bakugo is the hardest to write, too...

 _If all goes well I will find a solution soon, whether it is sticking to my original vision or not. But my updates might be slow again while I try to figure out what these characters want and need._

 _Thank you to anyone who stuck with me so far. :)_


	12. House Arrest

Shoto let his book bag sink to the floor of the common room. "What do you mean house arrest?" he asked Iida, who'd waylaid him.

"Exactly!" Iida shouted it from where he now blocked Shoto's path. His arms were making all kinds of gestures. Then Iida shoved his glasses up his face and began a rather emotional rant. "I'm so disappointed in both of them! Imagine, fighting on grounds last night and bringing down the teacher's wrath, when all other students were so innocently asleep in their beds... The two of them should know better! As their class representative, I'm sure it's due to a shortcoming of mine and an inability to guide them properly, but then again, with those two, I sometimes think it's impossible to knock sense into them. There should be something we all could do to make sure they don't stray again!"

Shoto said nothing, listening instead to the strange buzzing in his ears that warned him he might be in an unstable mood. It got difficult to focus when emotions like disbelief, panic, and slowly mounting upset overtook him. Right now, he couldn't believe what Iida was telling him — or he didn't _want_ to believe it.

Last evening, after Midoriya had spent time alone in Shoto's room, curled up with his head resting on Shoto's shoulder... That same night, he'd gone out late with Bakugo? And had a brawl. A brawl... or something else?

Shoto felt betrayed and confused, despite that he probably had no right to. The last thing he wished was to overreact, but...

The buzzing in his head increased. Shoto shut his eyes, raised a hand to his head, and inhaled a slow, deep breath.

"In any case." Iida pointed toward the common room exit when Shoto opened his eyes again. "I interrupted you to say we are to line up for the opening ceremony. Regular class commences after that. I also need to relate to everyone that Bakugo's house arrest is for four days and Midoriya's is for three. In the mean time, students are not to relay outside information to them. So please keep that in mind when you—"

"Is the house arrest their only punishment?" Shoto was not convinced it was.

House arrest equated to when Endeavor told Shoto things like, _You're grounded._ Demanding that Bakugo and Midoriya simply stay inside was not enough to keep them out of trouble; Shoto knew because when _he_ was grounded, he often found plenty of ways to continue going about his typical business. House arrest was not enough to keep Midoriya and Bakugo out of trouble... or away from each other.

After all, now everyone lived in the dorms together, which meant everyone had access to each other.

Iida crossed his arms and shot Shoto a somewhat concerned look when Shoto gave a muted groan. "Are you thinking of interfering? You shouldn't. Besides the house arrest, they both were sentenced to cleaning the dormitory common areas. The teachers have made sure they will repent. More than scold them further, even if we want to... probably the best thing in this case would be to offer them moral support. Without breaking the rules of their arrest, of course."

"Yes. I understand. Noted." Shoto said the words softly, as if he could convince himself he was willing to leave the situation at that. But next he picked up his book bag and turned on his heel to walk back toward the stairs.

Iida called. "Todoroki! We all need to report outside. Outside — for the opening ceremony!"

"I'll be there in a minute," Shoto said. "I forgot something in my room."

Iida muttered something, then began rounding up other students. Shoto glanced back only long enough to convince himself he wasn't being followed.

He started looking around him for signs of Midoriya anywhere. He touched his phone in his pocket, too, wondering if it might be faster to text. Shoto wanted to speak to Midoriya directly; listening to hearsay in this case would never calm his nerves or tell Shoto the truth about details. The only way to understand what had passed between Midoriya and Bakugo last night would be to ask Midoriya about it.

Or Bakugo, Shoto supposed.

If Shoto didn't ask one of them, he was sure his imagination would be the downfall of him. He didn't want to become paranoid now — after the progress made between himself and Midoriya last evening — that his destiny still placed him as the useless third person, caught in between childhood friends. Things were different now, weren't they?

Shoto picked up his walking pace, seeking down the first floor hall for where Midoriya might be. He told himself that it would be okay. After all, Midoriya was attracted to Shoto. So even if Midoriya had somehow ended up alone with Bakugo, certainly they—

Shoto halted. There, at the opposite end of the first floor hall, Midoriya and Bakugo stood just outside one of the bathroom doors. Bakugo fisted a limp, plastic trash bag, and Midoriya balanced a broom handle. Midoriya wore a cleaning mask over his nose that made Shoto recall the front piece of Midoriya's green Hero costume. Behind Midoriya and Bakugo squatted a bucket of soapy water and a cardboard box stuffed with cleaning items in the form of rags and spray bottles.

Shoto backed himself into a nook outside a closet door on his end of the hall — before either student could see him. He wasn't sure why he did so. Was Shoto really so afraid of whatever was between Midoriya and Bakugo that he couldn't muster guts to confront them about it, even when it was only the three of them? If anything, this was an opportune moment to address the whole issue. But instead, for some reason, Shoto found himself eavesdropping.

"You go in first," said Bakugo. His voice remained a normal register. "Then maybe the worst of the smell will end up on _you,_ instead of on me. Got it? Move your ass and go."

"No way, Kacchan," answered Midoriya. Shoto expected an accompanying, awkward, nervous laugh. There wasn't one. Despite the cleaning situation, Midoriya sounded comfortable.

Bakugo snarled, "If one of us doesn't scout it out, how are we supposed to assess the damage inside there then, dumbass? What plan will we have?"

There was a pause. Shoto wondered if Midoriya might be rolling his eyes. Then Midoriya said, "We'll have to go in there at the same time. We can defeat all the grime together. Somehow, I know we can do it."

Shoto's heart felt like it twisted as he heard the genuine belief and hope in Midoriya's voice.

"Like hell. I'll kick you through the door." Bakugo didn't sound mad, however.

"No, we're both going in. Come on."

Shoto peeked one eye around his hiding place — long enough to see that Midoriya had grasped Bakugo's forearm. He tried not to sigh, as he pulled back again and leaned on the closet door. Midoriya and Bakugo would be spending time like this together for the next three days?

"Leggo o' me, you damn nerd. You want me to blast you to smithereens like all the shit in there we have to clean?" Bakugo's voice faded as the door to the bathroom opened and then closed. Shoto was left huddling in the shelter of the hallway closet door, perturbed.

The interaction he'd witnessed... It had been almost... normal. At least, as normal and innocent as any interaction between _those_ two was likely to get or had gotten before. Shoto had never seen anything like it.

He wasn't sure what it meant.

He didn't know what he ought to feel about it. His heart was beating quickly, and a jealous beast inside him flexed its claws. But it didn't seem prudent for Shoto to allow the beast out. Bakugo and Midoriya were only cleaning the dorms. Midoriya didn't seem to need protecting from Bakugo right now, either.

Then Shoto blinked. No, that was weird. Things could not be as they seemed. Last night, Midoriya and Bakugo had been _fighting —_ with their Quirks. Shoto imagined Bakugo had goaded Midoriya into it. Shoto should trust his instincts; Bakugo was still a threat to Midoriya, even if Midoriya didn't think so. Shoto should keep an eye on this situation for the sake of Midoriya's safety. Shoto's interest in investigating this house arrest had nothing to do with his jealousy, or his worry about who Midoriya liked most. Nothing to do with it, he told himself.

"The inside of your head looks like a place I wouldn't want to be right now."

Shoto jumped. Somebody stood behind him.

"I said I would go after you," Kirishima explained when Shoto whirled around. The red-headed boy backed off and held up his hands in surrender, grinning. "Sorry to startle you. Iida's getting impatient for everyone to go outside, that's all, so I said I'd drag your ass out."

Shoto stepped away from the closet nook. "Yeah. Sorry. I'm coming now."

But Kirishima didn't move. "What were you doing here, Todoroki?"

A long moment passed before Shoto answered. Kirishima was watching him calmly, not seeming to make any accusations. He just seemed curious, or concerned. Shoto sighed. "I was watching a conversation between Midoriya and Bakugo."

Kirishima bit his lip, then sighed as well, and then slowly nodded. He reached for Shoto's arm. "Let's go."

They walked back the way Shoto had come, down the first floor hallway toward the common room. Shoto let a few silent moments pass before he decided to speak again. "Kirishima. Did Bakugo tell you what happened last night?"

"If you want to know details, that's something you should ask _them_ both about."

Shoto hitched his book bag higher on his shoulder. "I had intended to just now. Instead, I guess I chickened out."

Kirishima laughed wryly, walking with his back straight but his eyes on the ground. "I kind of feel you, actually. The truth is, I don't know any details, so I just fed you lines about addressing it with them yourself. Honestly though, the whole thing sucks. Bakugo won't tell me anything. Even if we ask directly, it's not like we'll get anywhere. I was thinking of trying to weasel info out of Mr. Aizawa instead, but..."

They were almost back to the common room. Shoto made a conscious effort to shake the whole topic off. He couldn't afford distractions now. "I'm sure it wasn't a big deal. It seems everything's sorted now."

There was no use in getting himself riled up. There was school work and his extra license training Shoto needed to attend to.

Kirishima made a low noise in his throat, but didn't say anything else. When they reached the doors outside, Iida waved at them. Iida wanted them to get in line. Shoto wondered what on earth had been planned for their opening ceremony.

Just before Kirishima left to take his place in line, he stopped. Shoto almost ran into him.

"Hey, so..." Kirishima spoke softly.

"Was there something else?" Shoto asked. He was trying so hard to put Midoriya out of his mind for now.

Kirishima held Shoto's eyes. The crowds of other students passed around them. "I'm gonna come right out and say it — 'cause you won't, will you. I'm learning you're the type to choke it down. Well, here's my opinion — because I've got to talk to _someone,_ and I think we both feel the same things. I don't like anything about this current situation. It somehow seems too fishy. Bakugo won't say a word, and Midoriya stammers out the answer to every question I ask, so he can divert the topic... They're both trying to act like last night didn't happen, even though the whole class knows it did. I don't want to speculate horrible things about our guys... but my brain is going to the worst places about what they were up to together. I mean, just knowing Bakugo's penchant for violent passion—"

"Kirishima," Shoto warned. His head started buzzing again. His mind jumped to conclusions. His pulse soared like some kind of panic reaction... What was Kirishima trying to say that he suspected?

"I know. I know. I should shut up. Sorry. It's just... Bakugo's been as annoying as ever since breakfast," Kirishima said, "but he's not _tense_ today, you know? It's like some huge load came off him. I don't really want to speculate how he or Midoriya managed that from one mere encounter last night. All my ideas upset me. But— it's pretty clear that whatever happened between them wasn't only a fight with Quirks. You know?"

Shoto shut his eyes and swayed a little on his feet. He couldn't let Kirishima's nerves start to affect him as well. He had to ask Midoriya directly — before he decided anything.

"Kirishima," said Shoto. "You really do love Bakugo, don't you."

Kirishima looked away and flushed to match his red hair. "Shut up, man."

"Get into line!" Iida shouted at them.

Shoto separated from Kirishima and tried to focus on the opening ceremony. He didn't like taking pleasure in other people's misery, or using Kirishima's situation as a comparison to his own to convince himself that his struggles were not as bad, considering... but somehow, having pity for Kirishima's unrequited love made Shoto feel more easy about himself.

Between Midoriya and Bakugo, at least Midoriya was the more convenient one to love.

* * *

Shoto couldn't concentrate. His pen tapped against his paper. This was no time to slack off with his studies or lose concentration... but the noise coming from the dorm room below his was something he couldn't ignore.

There came a crash. Some kind of yelp. Shoto could hear the sounds echoing distortedly through the floor. He turned sharply in his desk chair to glare at the offending air vent under his window.

The air vent helped the sounds carry even more. At the husky string of hollered swears that floated up and into Shoto's room next, Shoto shoved his chair away from his desk and stalked for his door, hands fisted.

He wrenched his door open, slipped out, and slammed the door shut behind him. The fifth floor hallway was empty; it was just after dinner, which meant that most likely _everyone_ was trying to do their homework. Shoto moved quickly for the stairs. He took the single flight down at a pace worthy of Iida's calf engines — skipping the stairs two at a time — until he burst into the hallway of the floor under his own.

When he raised his eyes to find Bakugo's door, he was somehow both surprised and unsurprised to find Kirishima standing like a statue right in front of it.

Kirishima's knuckles were poised to knock, but he had frozen in the act.

Seeing that he was not the only one annoyed by Bakugo's racket somehow made Shoto more calm. On top of it, he and Kirishima were allies in general, in terms of their desire to keep a yoke on the uncontrollable King Explosion Murder. Immediately, Shoto slowed his pace and started thinking logically. It might be easier to obtain quiet if Kirishima — who roomed next to Bakugo — could help Shoto gang up on him, and tell him he ought to shut up. Maybe then they wouldn't have to get teachers involved. Shoto padded toward Bakugo's room... and Kirishima looked up.

Kirishima's look twisted Shoto's stomach into knots; Kirishima bit his lip and appeared as if the world would end. Then Kirishima's gaze dropped to the ground, and he flinched as they both heard something else in the room.

Shoto came up beside Kirishima. The sounds within were evident — a lot clearer through the door then they had been through the air vents and the floor.

Panting. The faint sound of a moan.

Shoto staggered a step back. He glanced at Kirishima to convey his utter disbelief. Kirishima's eyes closed, as if Kirishima were seeking for control. Without a doubt Shoto knew _his_ control was already fleeing. How could Bakugo do something so dirty so damn _loudly?_

No. They couldn't be hearing what they thought they were hearing. Bakugo wasn't that stupid. Shoto's heart flew into his mouth, though, when he heard another whimper and confirmed who it belonged to.

Midoriya.

Then Shoto made out muffled words. From the crumpling look on Kirishima's face, Kirishima could hear them clearly, too.

 _Kacchan, this is—_

 _Put up with it._ Bakugo's husky command sounded out of breath.

Shoto and Kirishima exchanged another glance with each other. Shoto realized his hands shook.

 _You're doing it too hard! Ah— ahh—!_

 _Shut up! You wanted this, you idiot._

Dirty acts that shouldn't be occurring under any circumstance. What else could it be but that? And Midoriya wanted it to stop. Shoto didn't think clearly. Shoto didn't realize he'd taken a step back from the door and called the promise of ice to his hand until Kirishima cut in front of him.

Kirishima shook his head. "Don't," he hissed. "It's not—"

"No, _move."_ Shoto saw red. His emotions were like a tidal wave poised to devour an island. The jealous monster in him was a demon that had woken up. And beyond that, he felt sick. Soiled by the horrible images the sounds inside the room were creating.

 _Hold the fuck still, already! Stop rocking!_

Midoriya became breathy. _But— aahn!_

Kirishima's eyes went as round and as heated as twin suns. In that moment, Shoto watched Kirishima's anger and fury catch up to his own; Kirishima seemed to change his mind, stepping out of Shoto's way, nodding... and hardening his forearms.

Shoto readied his ice storm.

Together, he and Kirishima would blast apart Bakugo's door, and—

Except Kirishima moved again — and not toward Bakugo's door. Kirishima cursed under his breath and gripped Shoto's ice-coated arm. "Stop," he said, sounding choked up.

Shoto struggled. " _Let me—"_

"Stop." Kirishima repeated it, barely loud enough to be heard. His hand on Shoto's arm trembled. Another moan leaked from the room. Kirishima's other hand curled in a fist. "I hate it, too — but we've got to use our heads before we go barging in there. I don't want to be like them, and fight, and land myself a house arrest. I want to be a Hero, damn it. I can't afford to fuck my record up. And if you did, then what would your father do?"

Shoto was hardly listening; he was caught on the events on the other side of Bakugo's door. How could Kirishima stay so calm? How could Midoriya... how could Midoriya—?

Shoto yanked himself free from Kirishima's grip.

Kirishima sighed, whirled, and blocked Shoto's advance before Shoto could move. Shoto wondered if he'd have to blast Kirishima as well. But after that, Kirishima kicked at Bakugo's door — seemingly as hard as he could... without engaging his hardening Quirk.

The door shuddered. The bang echoed down the hall like a shot. From the corner, on the other side of Kirishima's room, Shoto heard Shoji raise his voice. "Can't you all be quiet out there?! I'm trying to do my homework!"

" _Pizza delivery_ ," Kirishima shouted, kicking Bakugo's door a second time. Shoto could hear the door frame whine.

He finally blinked and remembered to think. At the same time, he analyzed Kirishima's actions. Shoto didn't think he'd ever seen Kirishima look so... exhausted, unlaced, and ragged. Inside, was Kirishima just as furious as Shoto was?

Bakugo's rasp from the room greeted them. "AaAH? Kirishima? The hell do you want?!"

While Shoto sucked in a deep breath, Kirishima gritted his teeth. Kirishima smacked the fingerprint access pad for the door, and then tried the knob.

Bakugo's door opened. Bakugo hadn't left it locked.

Kirishima stared inside Bakugo's room with a look Shoto could not interpret. Shoto — after shaking his head and reminding himself that killing intent would do no good on school grounds — pushed past Kirishima and in through the door.

He took quick stock of what he saw.

Bakugo had Midoriya pinned to the floor. Both of them wore scarce clothing. The clothes seemed damp. Both of them looked beaded with sweat. But the clothes they wore were simple exercise clothes... and Midoriya was holding a stretch, with Bakugo helping by bracing his arms.

It wasn't what Shoto had expected. He felt dizzy assessing their strange pose. Still, the way Bakugo hovered on top...

Bakugo seemed to pause when he realized Kirishima was not alone; his eyes flicked once to Shoto.

Midoriya looked up, saw Shoto, and flinched.

Kirishima braved the awkward silence first. "What the _fuck?_ What the shit, you two?"

Bakugo answered lazily. "You have pizza or not, douchebag? If not, then get the fuck out." He didn't let go of Midoriya, who still sprawled meekly under him.

The beast in Shoto bared its fangs and roared. Shoto would have gotten himself expelled for sure... if he hadn't — almost too late — noted the placement of Bakugo's hands... and had the sense to assess more.

Bakugo wasn't touching Midoriya with his fingers or his palms. Instead, Bakugo used his knees to brace Midoriya's legs into the stretch, and his forearms and the crooks of his elbows to hold and yank Midoriya forward — into some semblance of flexibility. Bakugo's positioning would have been more effective — and probably less compromising — if Bakugo had touched and held Midoriya with his hands, Shoto realized. But Bakugo hadn't.

Bakugo hadn't.

Bakugo had instead been careful not to lay his touch on Midoriya.

Shoto's own hands twitched violently, but he made no move to interfere. Kirishima was shouting something at Bakugo now, but Shoto didn't process it. Without touching Midoriya, Bakugo was neither threatening Midoriya with explosive harm... nor attempting to cross intimate lines. Shoto had jumped to conclusions. Reacting badly would only make Shoto look like the person in the wrong. If Bakugo wasn't doing anything dangerous or questionable to Midoriya, what was Shoto's business here? If Midoriya _wanted_ this—

Midoriya spoke. "Kacchan, let go. This helped... but I can't hold it any more. I'm getting sore."

Bakugo replied like no one was there. "Shitty nerd. Ten seconds more. If you can't even stand this much, how the hell do you think you're gonna live up to your lofty goals?"

The ease between the two childhood friends became more than Shoto could bear. Although Shoto realized he'd overreacted, he hadn't calmed himself yet. "What in the name of All Might," he gritted, "are the two of you doing?"

He didn't like the situation, even if it seemed harmless. The very fact that it was Bakugo and Midoriya engaging in something like this made it — if not suspicious still, somehow — impossible for Shoto's jealousy not to overtake him. Shoto wanted to rip the two of them apart. He wanted to throw Bakugo out the dorm window.

Shoto wanted to know what had happened last night — and in that moment it became clear to him that he didn't intend to be nice any more when he demanded his answers. If Midoriya cared for Shoto at all, then he owed Shoto an explanation, didn't he? To expose Kirishima so thoughtlessly to this strange scene as well... That was why even if Shoto's method of interrogation made Midoriya frown, Shoto swore that he was going to—

Bakugo glanced up again from above Midoriya on the floor, and Shoto's thoughts clogged suddenly. Bakugo appeared dark, confident, and entirely possessive with only one casual exchange of gazes; the sight of his expression stopped Shoto's breath.

Bakugo reeked of dominance... and calm. An unsettling combination, the latter half of which was unlike Bakugo at all. No matter the reason for it, Shoto understood at once that he wouldn't be able to cow Bakugo now. Shoto was not the alpha male in the room; that spot belonged right now to the person pinning Midoriya down.

The world felt like it moved in slow motion as Shoto tried to process that. Had he been a wolf in a pack, his hackles would have risen, and he would have considered taking the alpha down. Ambition, jealousy, the urge to win... they remained present in Shoto. But Bakugo was not instigating right now, so attacking him — Shoto reminded himself again — would not gain him points with anyone.

Something in Bakugo had changed. But what, and how? The fight with Midoriya... What in the world had happened with these two?

"Deku," Bakugo drawled, smirking, his eyes locked only on Shoto. "Tell your jealous, wanton boyfriend what we're _doing_ before he burns something. If he takes All Might's name in vain again... I'm gonna fucking murder him whether you want me to or no."

"R-right. No, please don't do that. Um." When Midoriya moved to sit up at last, Bakugo climbed coolly off him. Midoriya massaged his arms and spoke haltingly. "Todoroki, Kirishima... Kacchan and I— we're still on house arrest, but we finished the day's cleaning and didn't have any homework. Kacchan somehow miraculously agreed with me to practice a few training stretches to fill time. Since we aren't allowed to train outside on the grounds, we thought we'd stay out of the way, in Kacchan's room here, and— Wait. K-Kacchan. Todoroki isn't my boyfriend."

Shoto's fingers twitched again. The words shouldn't have hurt him... but somehow—

"Whatever." Bakugo cracked his knuckles. "In any case, if he wants to bang you, he's gonna have to go through me. I ain't letting anyone pound _you_ before I get to — you got that? Oy, Icy-Hot... You wanna go or what?" At last, Bakugo's crazy grin broke free. The world again became normal.

Shoto stepped forward, going tense. Bakugo was baiting him now. And so—

Kirishima jumped between all of them. "All right, no. We did this last time. Damn — _enough_ already, you three!" He made a sharp gesture next with his arm. "Midoriya, get off the floor and kill that flush. It just looks wrong. Do you have _any idea_ what this sounded like from in the hall?"

"A-ah! That's just— I-I'm so sorry!"

Kirishima's admonishments weren't through; his voice cracked. "For fuck's sake, Bakugo — stay out of other people's love affairs. And Todoroki, you're too easy to piss off. Chill out and take a step back, dude."

The thought occurred to Shoto that Kirishima was more than they all deserved. To put aside his own feelings to divert a disaster scene...

While Midoriya climbed to his feet, and Bakugo backed off to lean against the windowsill, cursing, Shoto straightened his back and blinked. He didn't know how Kirishima could keep himself together and give orders, but he was glad that Kirishima did. What would have become of them by now, if Kirishima didn't always find a way to create bridges between the three of them? Kirishima's control was enough to remind Shoto that maturity was the end goal. If Shoto wanted to process or break down what had happened in this room, then he could do it somewhere else.

Shoto turned on his heel, back toward the door. "Bakugo... I came to tell you to shut up. I kept hearing you yelling through the floor. I was doing my homework. Try not to be loud."

"Shove your homework up your ass, snowman, or fucking fight me outside, huh?"

"You can't go out on house arrest." Shoto stalked briskly out the door without another backward glance — only barely stopping himself from slamming Bakugo's door in the same way he had slammed his own.

Shoto did not head for the stairs. He moved for the elevators. He wanted to go all the way down and outside.

He thought the darkness, and the stars, and moon and breeze might calm him down.

The elevator dinged just as the door to Bakugo's room opened back up. Shoto caught snatches of Bakugo and Kirishima arguing. Then he heard jogging footsteps.

He didn't look backward.

When he stepped in the elevator, Midoriya stepped in with him. "Todoroki, wait up a minute."

The elevator went down. Shoto looked straight at the silver doors, his jaw tight. And he said nothing.

He wasn't sure that he could speak rationally to Midoriya right now. But even as he thought it, and the elevator doors opened again, Shoto could feel himself softening at Midoriya's worried groan. Why, _why_ was he so weak for Midoriya? Why did he always end up doing what Midoriya wanted?

He thought he was an alpha male. Was he actually a beta? The second place one. Endlessly.

Shoto took off for the doors outside with long strides.

"Wait, Todoroki. Where are you—?"

"I'm going out."

"No. I can't leave the dorms on house arrest, and we both clearly need to talk."

Shoto tisked. A fine time for Midoriya to choose to show his backbone.

Shoto took a calming breath. He could storm off in anger, play back the scene from in Bakugo's room, ruminate, marinate, let it fester, debate what he ought to do... or he could continue with the momentum he already had, and let Midoriya confront him. He could confront Midoriya back, and finally ask what had happened last night. The problem was, Shoto was no longer sure he wished to know — not with so many of his defenses down from jealousy and shock, from seeing Midoriya sprawled in a workout stretch underneath Bakugo. Shoto still had his suspicions about what had gone on in between them. He didn't want to end up looking and feeling as hurt as poor Kirishima.

"Todoroki." Midoriya clutched his sleeve and held on. "Don't make me punch you."

Shoto stopped, feet from the back door that led into the small courtyard. He wanted nothing but to be sitting quietly under the night sky. He sighed and gave Midoriya his gaze. "Midoriya. Tell me the details, then. What happened last night between you and Bakugo?" It might hurt less in the long run if Shoto simply ripped the band-aid off.

"We didn't do the stuff I know you're thinking." Midoriya's face was tinted pink. He let go of Shoto's shirt.

"What are _you_ thinking," Shoto asked, "if it's making you blush like that?"

Midoriya's green eyes dropped to the floor. Shoto looked at the ground as well. The rug looked exceptionally clean. Had Midoriya and Bakugo vacuumed it together that afternoon?

Midoriya whispered. "You're not being fair. But I'll admit something blunt, if it will help to clear things up. Kacchan has a nice body. So it's natural for me to blush, if I have to think about it. But I'm not interested in Kacchan like that any more, not enough that I would let something happen."

Shoto's mouth went dry. Could he truly believe in that? When Midoriya raised his head and looked at Shoto again, Shoto waited, unmoving.

"Kacchan and I, last night... we fought. I don't want to tell you right here. Go outside."

Shoto flinched. "You said not to. If it's not allowed, then don't—"

"You like being outside at night, don't you? I'm sure I can't get in trouble if we stay right near the door."

Shoto hesitated. Then he swung the door open and held it wide, so Midoriya could go first. He had half a mind to let the door close after Midoriya, then lock it so Midoriya would be trapped... while he himself circled the school and escaped outside somewhere else.

Midoriya went swiftly out. On his way past... he closed his fist in the front of Shoto's shirt again, and pulled this time — as if he were afraid that Shoto would indeed attempt to run.

Shoto stumbled. "Midoriya—"

"Get out here. Good. Now... look at me." Just outside the door, and after the door closed, Midoriya stopped and stared at Shoto. In the puddle of yellow light from the indoors, Shoto did as he was told and gazed back.

Midoriya held his eyes. His fist was still curled in Shoto's shirtfront. Shoto was not sure if he wanted to jerk free... or pull Midoriya closer.

Shoto wanted to hold him and insist, _Tell me right now that you'll be mine only, and not let Bakugo touch you with his hands or otherwise._

Midoriya started to spill out words. "Kacchan asked me outside last night to talk. He asked even before I went to check on you, in your dorm room. I didn't want to go at first, but I figured Kacchan wouldn't bother addressing me if it wasn't important. He and I have never managed to talk, like I told you... but last night, Kacchan finally tried to. We didn't get far before he lost his temper; he challenged me to a fight I didn't want to have at first — but then I realized how big a burden Kacchan had been carrying... and that for Kacchan, the only way to let his feelings loose and work out the pain would be to fight." The words were rapid and hard to follow. "Kacchan had to fight me. Only I could do it. So I did. That's what happened. That's why I'm on house arrest." Midoriya released Shoto's shirt. He said, "Do you believe me, or are you worried I'm lying, and lately I've only been leading you on?"

For all his jumbled blathering, Midoriya seemed shrewd enough. "What burden?" Shoto demanded, ignoring Midoriya's question.

Midoriya had fought Bakugo because he was trying to relieve Bakugo of some perceived 'burden' Bakugo carried?

Midoriya shut his eyes. Shoto thought that perhaps he was being too harsh, too interrogative. Too possessive. Midoriya did not belong to him. They weren't dating, and Shoto had no reason to dig deeper if things were private, simply because he felt riled and jealous.

But Shoto didn't withdraw his question.

"Kacchan was blaming himself the entire time for All Might's retirement."

The wind rustled the leaves on the nearby shrubberies. A few more pieces of the Bakugo puzzle shifted into perspective.

Bakugo's capture was the whole reason All Might had become involved in Kamino, and fought the Villain with multiple Quirks, and used up all his own power. Reflecting on that, suddenly Shoto could see plainly how Bakugo might blame himself for All Might's fall.

Bakugo had probably been thinking, _If only I'd been strong enough to escape the Villain's lair myself, then All Might as I loved him and looked up to him wouldn't be gone._ Bakugo had felt terrible about All Might's defeat... just like how Midoriya had.

Shoto sat down abruptly on the sidewalk outside the door. He leaned against the building wall and recalled again that Bakugo was as human and emotionally tender inside as the rest of the UA students. If it had been Shoto in Bakugo's position... Bakugo's burden made sense. Shoto thought he'd probably blame himself and feel guilty as well. And then, considering that Bakugo seemed to like All Might sometimes as much as Midoriya did...

Was Shoto a self-centered asshole because he hadn't been able to see it? He'd spent enough time watching Bakugo because Midoriya's eyes always turned that way. Why hadn't Shoto been able to predict that Bakugo's feelings would explode? Hadn't he seen Bakugo's pent up emotions explode once already in the dining hall?

All Might had told Shoto it might be good to look out for Bakugo as well as Midoriya. But Shoto had forgotten that need once they'd rescued Bakugo from the League of Villains. He'd thought that was the end of the danger.

"Kacchan was blaming himself, and—"

"I feel sorry for him," Shoto said. "I understand his position. But it still doesn't explain why he had to take out his emotional pain on you, by beating you up in the middle of the night." Shoto breathed the words out on a wisp of cold from his right side.

"It's... complicated," Midoriya said. For once, Shoto didn't groan. He let Midoriya try to explain more. "J-Just like how you recognized at the festival that I must have a special tie to All Might, Kacchan... he's realized it as well. And he admires All Might just like I do, so when he felt like he ruined All Might's chances of staying a Pro Hero, he..."

Midoriya seemed to seek difficult words; he stayed standing and wrung his hands. Shoto realized how hard Midorita was trying to convey the truth to him.

"Kacchan has felt inferior, like I was more special to All Might than him. And of course, Kacchan hates losing. So to feel like he wasn't a loser, like maybe it wasn't his fault All Might got defeated, he wanted to fight me last night, to prove he was better. Does— does that make any sense?" Shoto didn't answer; he just reflected. "It doesn't, does it. Ah, our relationship really is too complex..." Midoriya then started to mutter.

"Unfortunately," Shoto said, cutting the muttering off, "I think I've dealt with you two enough now that I understand, at least somewhat." He bumped his head against the wall and breathed out again, shutting his eyes. "Bakugo has been both envious of and afraid of your potential and your closeness to All Might for some time. Paired with his sublimated feelings for you, the only option an angry guy like that has is to react toward you like a violent enemy, more and more, every time that he cracks."

"Errgh," said Midoriya.

Shoto took the grunt as agreement.

"But things are better now," Midoriya added. He slid down the wall to sit next to Shoto. "At least a bit. All Might came to break up the fight, and we—"

Shoto squinted. "All Might did?"

Midoriya nodded, seeming to look inward. "Mm. And after All Might talked to us, Kacchan... well. Kacchan realized, finally, what feelings I've had toward him all this time, and he seemed okay with it. I think now we understand each other equally."

Shoto supposed it was now or never. He said, "Spell it out for me. What exactly are the feelings you have toward him, Midoriya? You think he's attractive. You aren't interested in a physical relationship with him, but you still want to be his friend. If you can put words to it, finally—"

"It's bothered you, hasn't it." Midoriya folded his scarred hands and looked down at them briefly. The visible hesitation made Shoto hesitate as well; he wondered if, after all, he was truly ready to hear this. "What it boils down to, I think, is that I've always admired Kacchan's strength. I've wanted to be like him. Or be better. He's been a hero to me just like All Might has. Maybe even a bigger and better hero than All Might."

Shoto did his best not to flinch. Midoriya put Bakugo even up above All Might? Even though all Bakugo had ever done was bully him? Did Shoto himself fall so short in comparison?

"But Kacchan never realized how I felt. Until now, he was interpreting my words and actions toward him as a kind of condescending disdain more than admiration. He thought the way I always stuck with him, even when he was so much better than I was... he thought I stuck around because I felt I was superior to him, and was secretly laughing inside at how weak he was, or making fun of him. So that's why he was mean to me."

Midoriya was justifying Bakugo's bad behavior. Shoto felt beyond surprise or outrage. Somehow he only felt a little numb.

The moon came out behind the clouds. Shoto said, "Bakugo has been stupid."

Midoriya didn't do well with communicating, perhaps... but Midoriya was easy to read once you got to know him. There was no way his admiration for someone could be read as something two-faced, something designed to hurt or scar. How could Bakugo not have realized just how deeply he was idolized?

"Bakugo is an idiot," Shoto said in a monotone. "An abusive idiot with an inferiority complex so powerful that he never could tell—"

"You don't have to say it." Midoriya looked away. "I know — and it doesn't change what Kacchan and I have to do. What we set out to do, by coming here to UA. We have to reach the top. If we can't repair the bad years between us, at least we can move forward now as allies, or healthy rivals from here. All Might thinks so, too. N-not that I believe Kacchan will ever help me naturally, or even very willingly, but if he can manage to cooperate with me sometimes without holding a grudge... Well, that's why I took advantage of it when he seemed to want to help me this evening. I at least want to learn from him so I can get better myself."

Shoto closed his hand around some pebbles on the ground. He played absently with them. He thought about all the times Midoriya had tried to work with Bakugo before. Midoriya had only gotten himself yelled at, hit, or humiliated. Midoriya had not seemed to learn anything.

Then the rest of what Midoriya said sank in — all talk again about him and 'Kacchan.' Talk about him reaching the number one hero spot... alongside Bakugo.

What about Shoto? Did Shoto's efforts at being number one no longer count, or make Midoriya blink? Did Midoriya no longer consider Shoto a worthy opponent of his? Had Midoriya forgotten that Shoto, too, wanted to reach the top?

Shoto brushed back his bangs and swallowed. The moon gazed brightly down at them; tonight it made a thin sickle. Was it true any more that Shoto wanted to reach the top? Would winning make Shoto happy? Or was the truth more recently that Shoto wanted to escape the shadow of his father to obtain happiness, and little more? To escape Endeavor and make his life right, was it necessary that Shoto become number one? Or was it only necessary that Shoto sort out his personal feelings and... confront Endeavor as an adult? Did it matter who took the number one spot, so long as Shoto saw Endeavor repent for his past misdeeds?

Would Shoto be content enough just keeping Midoriya beside him?

"Todoroki?" Midoriya shifted. He took to his knees, to twist so that he could look up and into Shoto's face.

Shoto hid his face in one palm. He used his other hand to gently push Midoriya away from him.

If Shoto was going to consider giving up his goal of reaching the top... Maybe it was petty, but he didn't want to have nothing to show for it. If he was going to let go of one of his major goals, and lose that driving factor in his life... then he didn't want to lose the other thing he had been reaching toward.

If Shoto wasn't going to reach the top, then he was definitely, definitely going to make Midoriya his official boyfriend. He was going to find a way to do more than hug and gently pat Midoriya's head.

"Todoroki—"

"I'm sorry. I think I need to think. Alone."

How? What could he do to win Midoriya over? What would he be allowed to try? What could he do that wouldn't force or press?

 _K-Kacchan, Todoroki isn't my boyfriend._

Shoto didn't even know if Midoriya wanted it. Promising to consider the possibility of physical intimacy — friends with benefits — didn't mean that Midoriya wanted to become an item with Shoto. Officially. Romantically. Shoto knew that.

But Shoto had made up his mind.

If Shoto gave up his dreams about seizing the number one Hero spot... if he could no longer have Midoriya as a fighting rival for the top position, then he absolutely wanted to be Midoriya Izuku's boyfriend. He wanted it. For the first time, outside against the wall, Shoto allowed himself to viciously and _vividly_ desire Midoriya's commitment. He didn't compartmentalize because Midoriya was next to him. He just hid his blush in his hands, wished, and plotted. He chose not to worry it made him selfish.

Midoriya had claimed he wished to wait and sort his emotions out before he defined his feelings for Shoto. It seemed at last that Midoriya understood and accepted what he felt for Bakugo... which was a step in the right direction, and one Shoto had waited for so long. But what, if anything, had Midoriya decided regarding Shoto?

Midoriya's hand had closed in the fabric of Shoto's shirt again. "I can leave you alone to think. But first... let me thank you for trusting me and hearing me out."

Shoto looked up. "Midoriya. You don't have to—"

Midoriya leaned in and up, and placed a peck on Shoto's mouth.

Midoriya's bushy bangs brushed Shoto's forehead; his lips were closed and the kiss was chaste, but somehow the gesture lit Shoto ablaze. Shoto made a noise in the back of his throat — but then Midoriya pulled away.

"I don't want to make you feel teased. Or used. So I won't do anything more than that. I just—" Midoriya wriggled, looking down at the pebbles Shoto had dropped when his grip had slackened in surprise. "Todoroki, I do like you. It isn't only physical. I think I'm just a little scared of making it big. Official. We'd have to deal with everyone. And Kacchan! And you're _distracting_..."

Shoto stared. Shoto leaned forward and groaned. "You," he answered raspily, "are going to be the death of me, Midoriya Izuku."

But Shoto was happy. Incredibly so. It seemed Midoriya was not so much opposed to dating Shoto in principal as he was opposed to the idea of any awkward repercussions that came from it.

Midoriya _liked_ Shoto.

Midoriya laughed loudly — almost as if he broke into a panic. He shot to his feet. "Ah hah— well. I-I'll just go inside, then? I'm on house arrest, and I don't want to actually kill you."

" _I_ might kill _you_ ," Shoto declared, despite that he sounded like Bakugo — and while he steamed silently against the wall. His body was on fire from one simple kiss... and if Midoriya stayed here, Shoto might do things he ought not to do.

They should at least first make it official.

Shoto was a good boy. A gentleman.

Midoriya laughed again, more shrilly. "Right. Well then. I'm off to bed. See you when I finally get back to class?"

"Go back inside, you siren." A vein in Shoto's temple twitched.

The door into the dorms opened and closed, and Shoto heard Midoriya giggle. Afterward, Shoto let his breath out in a whoosh.

This night had not gone as he'd expected. But he would certainly take this.

What was Shoto to do now? Plot something like an engagement proposal, and ask directly, _Will you be my boyfriend?_ Should he seduce Midoriya in a dark corner, to make him agree and say yes?

Sometimes Shoto had the strangest problems.

A set of footsteps crunched toward him. Shoto looked up — and at first, he didn't recognize who came toward him.

Then he saw it was Aizawa, with his hair gathered in a ponytail. Did the teacher always tie his hair back like that when he was finished teaching for the night? Shoto leapt to his feet, clearing his throat.

Aizawa scratched at the back of his head. "If Midnight were here," Aizawa drawled, rolling his eyes away from Shoto as if to give Shoto one more brief moment of privacy, "I suppose she'd squeal something about 'youth,' and she wouldn't quite be wrong."

Shoto flushed. Had Aizawa witnessed Midoriya's kiss?

Shoto supposed this was the exact kind of situation Midoriya worried about. But Shoto was brave. Shoto could handle this.

"Er. Sorry about... well, um," Shoto said.

Aizawa looked him over, still scratching the back of his head wearily. "I'm on patrol. And since I've found you out without permission, the thing to do would be to punish you for getting caught out here. But truthfully, after catching sight of that... I guess I can't ignore what's going on. All Might would complain at me if he thought I was being harsh…." Aizawa paused a moment, in which Shoto felt a wave of apprehension. "Are you all right?" Aizawa asked almost like he was bored and didn't care how Shoto answered. "Midoriya didn't even ask first... You probably weren't averse to it, and sometimes if the mood is right, it's implied that it'd be fine without permission, but..."

Shoto clapped a frigid right palm over his face to cool it. Consent, of course. All the teachers were concerned.

"In any case, don't tell anyone I'm breaking the rules for you," Aizawa muttered over a sigh. "But take a walk to calm down, all right?"

The teacher let his arm drop. He headed for the door that led into the dorm.

"You have my permission," Aizawa grumbled. "It's better overall if you're not distracted by teenaged things. It's nose to the grindstone starting tomorrow…. Students these days really surprise me with how lax they are in times like this. I don't think I ever had that kind of raging hormones..."

* * *

 **Author Note:** _This chapter was too long, I think. I thought of cutting it down, or splitting it into two. Ultimately I kept everything. Whoops. But at least I've started giving poor Todoroki what he's wanted?_


	13. To Todoroki (Without Love), From Bakugo

**Author Note:** _WELCOME. BACK. YOU. CHAMPS!_

 _If you're picking this story back up after my 3/4 year break from it, I thank you. (Your reader reviews/reactions have given me life all through that interim; I deeply appreciate that.) Apologies for trailing off. First it was because I didn't know where to take the story next. Then it was because Life distracted me (I visited Japan and drowned in BNHA merchandise — so, GOOD distractions, don't worry). Then it was because the anime finally appeared to be catching up to where I'd left off covering the manga, and I wanted to wait for it._

 _Now the anime IS caught up — and I am aiming to keep pace with it (or at least not TOO far ahead of it) so no one has to worry about being spoiled._

 _I'm hoping not to screw up this story after being away from it. But I re-read my old shit, dove back in, and... well. No more yapping._

 _Just updates._

 _PLUS ULTRA!_

* * *

The Provisional License training course.

Shoto sighed, then readjusted the bag on his shoulder, thinking again about facing his fate and making up for his mistakes. The training course felt more like a make-up class, because he'd failed the original test completely. These next three months... this endeavor... this challenge was Shoto's single shot at a second chance to become a licensed Hero.

And it had to be executed with only one other UA student for company and support.

That student was Katsuki Bakugo, the last person Shoto wanted to be near.

"Walk behind me, asshole," Bakugo told him.

It was the second time he'd given Shoto the command since their departure from the dorms. Shoto kept careful pace right beside Bakugo now as a result. As the dorms faded the farther they walked, however... Shoto told himself not to be petty.

With difficulty, he allowed himself to fall a half pace behind Bakugo — to keep Bakugo quiet. It wouldn't do to start a fight, or let Bakugo bother him. Bakugo was the last person on earth Shoto wanted to spend his weekends with, that was true, but their training had nothing to do with Midoriya, or relationships with Midoriya... so Shoto would do best to compartmentalize his bad feelings. They had nothing to do with now.

Right now, Shoto should think about Bakugo like any other UA problem student. Not like a potential romantic rival. He should focus on Bakugo's childishness and shortcomings as a whole, on how those might effect his success at obtaining his provisional license — not on how they might get in his way of successfully wooing Midoriya.

"Walk _farther_ behind me," Bakugo growled.

Shoto did his best not to twitch.

Was there really a need for Bakugo's bravado, ego, or swagger? Who did Bakugo think he was trying to impress, intimidate, or kid right now?

"Eventually you'll have to learn to deal with me," Shoto uttered. "In case you didn't notice, I don't intend to go anywhere — much less actually fall behind the likes of you." Even if Shoto couldn't be the one to make it to the top ranking, because he had decided to support Midoriya instead... that didn't mean he wished to give _second_ place spot to Bakugo.

"AaAH? Fuck you." Bakugo kept walking.

Shoto frowned, feeling it crease his forehead.

Midoriya invaded his mind again.

Midoriya had _kissed_ Shoto as thanks for Shoto's trusting him. The kiss had felt so pure, and yet had woken in Shoto a blaze of desire. How could Shoto continue from that kiss into something less casual, more permanent? How could Shoto ease Midoriya's fears about how the rest of Class 1-A might view them, if he and Midoriya became an item?

Ah, there Shoto went, getting distracted again. He looked around at the trees and the buildings they passed in an attempt to clear his head. His priority ought to be to boost himself through these three months of courses, maybe even complete them before Bakugo if such a thing was possible. But no matter what, would his mind only return to Midoriya... and the never-ending problem of Bakugo's interference with them?

They turned the corner, now out of sight of school grounds. Today they were taking the train, because the sky clouded like it would rain... and because Shoto had been late this morning, thanks to barely sleeping last night in favor of laying awake thinking. He glanced at the back of Bakugo's head. Bakugo swaggered on, no longer taking any notice of him. Shoto closed his hands into fists on the strap of his gym bag.

Even if Midoriya and Bakugo were on better terms by now, thanks to their fight and subsequent house arrest... Even if Shoto no longer had to worry that Bakugo would physically hurt Midoriya for kicks... Well, there were still some issues for Shoto.

Midoriya pervaded him. And because he did, so did Bakugo — because Midoriya and Bakugo by now were... friends? More proper, healthy rivals than they'd been before? They were _something_ different than they had been, even if awkwardly, tensely. What it meant was that Bakugo's presence would continue to remain between Shoto and the object of his affection. Shoto's aim ever since Midoriya's kiss was to make Midoriya his proper and official boyfriend. But to do that, Bakugo needed to be addressed — all over again, this time considering his shifted chemistry and relationship with All Might's favorite student. _Midoriya_ certainly wasn't going to address his attraction to Shoto with his childhood friend.

That meant _Shoto_ had broach the topic — in order to carve out the space for both himself and Midoriya to take a step forward.

Shoto sighed, and then increased his pace again. He walked up to keep even with Bakugo's shoulder.

Bakugo bristled immediately. "What the SHIT, Half and Half. You deaf? I said to walk—"

"I won't right now."

It was probably now or never; he and Bakugo were alone, and Bakugo seemed oddly neutral lately. Less angry than he'd been before his house arrest... but Shoto didn't know how long that strange peace would last.

He couldn't take it for granted. He needed to take advantage.

"I have something I want to discuss with you."

"Then what's with the fucking preface? Just _say_ it." Bakugo's jaw looked set tight. He stared resolutely forward.

They could see the train station now. Soon they'd be on the platform, amongst more people. Shoto sucked in a breath; this was his only chance to speak his mind without any reservations.

"When Kirishima and I caught you and Midoriya doing stretches, and mistook it for the two of you having sex—" A vein in Bakugo's neck already twitched. Shoto sped up his words at that. "—and you stated that if I wanted Midoriya for myself, I'd have to go through you first—" Bakugo snarled unintelligibly. "—and then you announced _you_ would be the one to have Midoriya before you would ever allow _me_ to have him... That was just trash talk aimed to upset me, and prompt me to sabotage myself somehow with my own anger and my jealousy... right?"

Shoto paused then, swallowing. Bakugo had stopped walking — and his eyes were crunched closed, all wrinkled like walnuts, and probably just as hard behind the lids.

At least Shoto wasn't being fixed by his murderous gaze right now. He figured that meant he ought to go on. "Or do you really have feelings for Midoriya, and now a clear intent to pursue him, despite what you said before in the cafeteria — about how he confuses your emotions, distracts you from your Hero pursuits, and that you think you can't or shouldn't get intimate with him thanks to the nature of your Quirk?"

Shoto stood there for a long time. He counted twenty seconds of silence — a miracle considering he had expected a typical Baku-splosion.

When Bakugo opened his eyes, his words were harsh as usual, but somehow they lacked violence. "The FUCK is the matter with you? You're gonna bring THAT shit up now?! GET YOUR HEAD IN THE _REAL_ GAME, ICY-HOT. Is today about your inability to grow a pair and solve your petty, immature love problems with Deku, or about my _kicking your ass_ in our training with Gang Orca — aaAAH? Learn to compartmentalize, you shit-stick, or you'll never get anywhere." Bakugo then pivoted and stormed away.

Shoto followed him, climbing the stairs onto the train platform and trying to brush off Bakugo's dismissive demeanor. Bakugo was right that Shoto should be focused on their task today, but he— "Listen to me for once. _Bakugo_. Wait _._ For me, Midoriya is just as important to my life as provisional—"

"No shit; I'm beginning to see that by now. Just shut the hell up, you ass-wipe, instead of sniveling the obvious crap I already know." Bakugo didn't meet Shoto's eyes. He just stalked his way down their platform, then stood still waiting for their train.

The rain clouds broke and rain began to patter on the roof of the station.

"Bakugo. I'm trying to figure out what you've been thinking. What you have been _feeling,_ especially lately _._ " Shoto didn't like being forced to get invested in somebody he viewed as a pain. But it was for Midoriya — and so he grit his teeth and kept trying. "I don't intend to lose to you... but I also can't afford to trample on whatever your side of this is. He _values_ you, Bakugo." Shoto had no choice but to accept that. He already had. "And if you also care for him, then can't you see the mess it makes when all you do is—"

Bakugo shoved Shoto away. "And THIS is why you're an extra." Shoto stumbled a step backward, but bit his lip and curbed his urge to land Bakugo a strike back. "Your fucking flea-sized brain is all focused on what's not important! _Deku_ , Deku, Deku and me _..._ You're whining like a little bitch. If you've got blue balls or are pissy right now because that damn nerd is waffling on you, or you can't weasel the shit you want out of him... since when is that my damn problem?When the SHIT did I ask to get involved, HAH?!"

Shoto kept his voice lower, aware of all the drowsy, early morning crowds of people close to them. "But you _are_ involved." He felt so frustrated. "Can you really still not see that?"

The train zipped into the station, rolling to a stop before them. Bakugo barely waited for the doors to open before he barged his way inside. "Leave me OUT of it," he said, "you useless hot-and-cold goddamned bastard."

* * *

Training with Gang Orga did not go well. In short, Bakugo turned out to be correct that if Shoto couldn't compartmentalize, he couldn't focus. At all.

"Where the SHIT is your head right now? We won't pass if you don't shape up! I WANNA SEE YOU SERIOUS!"

"Sorry," was all Shoto replied. He wiped the sweat out of his eyes.

The exercise ended early, with the blare of a klaxon indicating he and Bakugo were not performing as desired. Gang Orca — with a frown and a hum that appeared, if not villainous, at least terrifying — dismissed Shoto and Bakugo completely.

 _Try harder next time,_ they were told. That was all.

Shoto had expected to get paired with Yoarashi, so Gang Orca could force them to learn to cooperate — unlike they had done at the license exam. While Bakugo's Quirk was a match for Shoto's in strength, and while Shoto could cover well for Bakugo's recklessness and read his moves, then move in to support him, or complement his efforts, or compensate for him... Bakugo was still a loose cannon, and therefore they were not necessarily a sensible partner pair — only a mediocre one. And yet, not so mediocre that Gang Orca should have prioritized partnering them to force their cooperation to improve. Had Gang Orca simply assigned partners at random?

He tried not to get stuck on it. Regardless, the truth probably was that even if Bakugo _hadn't_ been there as Shoto's assigned team member, Shoto would have been distracted — thinking about Midoriya.

And about Bakugo and Midoriya.

Back in the locker room now, ahead of any of the others — whose exercises were still proceeding normally — Shoto peeled off his rain-soaked blue and white track suit jacket, annoyed.

Bakugo swore. Then he punched a locker. Then, while Shoto ran a hand backward through his damp hair, shut his eyes, and sighed, Bakugo ripped his own locker door open. "The SHIT was that mess, Half and Half?"

Shoto removed his track shirt next, noting that sweat soaked it, not rain, and donned his casual T-shirt slowly — wishing he did not have to wait until he reached the dorms again to shower clean. Bakugo seemed furious... Should Shoto do the honest, mature thing and admit his mistakes, or be antagonistic back, because antagonism was the only language Bakugo seemed to understand?

He said, "Obviously 'that mess' was an exercise that didn't proceed smoothly."

"No shit! God... why would Gang Orca assign us to cooperate?! Doesn't he know you can't focus for eighty-million damn reasons?"

The cold of the locker room air on his legs receded as Shoto finished changing out of his damp pants, into the soft sweats he wore on weekends. Bakugo's questions were probably rhetorical. Shoto still answered them — to see what would happen.

"It was either random, or he assigned us as partners because he somehow thought it'd be a challenging task considering our various weaknesses."

Bakugo barked an empty laugh. He changed his own clothes violently — as if the fabric he handled lived and breathed like jungle animals he wanted to wrestle, then skin, cook, and consume for his breakfast. "Weaknesses! Like yours for SHITTY DEKU? What did I tell you at the station — HAAH?! Don't bring it on the training field!"

"My bad," said Shoto emotionlessly, hoping Bakugo realized it came as empty as his previous laugh had been.

Bakugo was being hypocritical. Could Bakugo really say a thing like, _Don't bring it on the training field,_ when he brought _his_ outrage and his emotions to training exercises all the time? During his exam against All Might with Midoriya, for example, Bakugo had—

But Shoto stopped that train of thought. He was only getting bitter about the past. Bakugo had changed and grown from the person he had been at that time. Right now, Shoto needed to deal with the Bakugo in front of him.

"Bakugo, we need to talk."

"Like HELL we god damn do, shit-stick! You want a solution? Well, IT'S SIMPLE." Bakugo slammed his locker shut, wearing his dry clothes carelessly, with the neck of his collared shirt gaping open. He leveled a finger at Shoto. "If your weak ass is gonna drag _me_ down because you can't quit mooning over Deku... then DIE. My priorities are to become the best Hero, not get sucked into _that_ bullshit. How in the hell don't you GET THAT YET, AH?!"

Shoto felt like he stood talking to a child. "I can't take my relationship with Midoriya a step forward without addressing how you feel. My goal is to avoid any—"

"Why in the FUCK," Bakugo said, watching with wild eyes as Shoto clicked his own locker door closed, "are you acting like your hands are tied? Like I have a SINGLE SHITTY THING TO DO WITH YOUR CRAP? Is Deku still fucking dreaming about me or something?"

Shoto took a deep, calming breath. How could he explain where he was coming from, if Bakugo wouldn't listen?

"BOTH of you need to figure out that I'm not fucking part of it. Why would I want to be by now? You're making a big _mess_ of it." Bakugo practically spat it.

Shoto bent down to switch his socks and pull his casual shoes closer. "It's only natural that he and I attempt to consider your feelings, Bakugo."

He needed to stay calm, here. Especially if Bakugo couldn't.

Bakugo shoved his own gym shoes into his bag and kept snarling. "My feelings shouldn't be SHIT to you two. I'm _over it_ by now _,_ shitface! The person Deku wants is you."

Shoto swallowed on hearing that. The words surprised him... and he felt suddenly like he should try to get them in writing. Did Bakugo honestly mean them, honestly acknowledge Shoto's position in Midoriya's heart? Or was he just trying to placate Shoto at present somehow?

Bakugo slammed his butt onto the bench between their locker rows and started cramming on his casual shoes. "It isn't my fucking MO to force Deku into things with me, or be a god damn cock block regarding you — so get that shit out of your two-toned head. Whatever Deku wants, or whether I'm interested in the dick in his pants... That kind of crap is for losers, and it isn't relevant. AT ALL."

Shoto's voice cracked. He didn't trust Bakugo's assertions. "You can _say_ that to me, but you—"

"Let it GO, if you know what's good for you! You think I want some wanton _love triangle?_ My priorities are to become the best Hero! How in the hell don't you GET THAT SHIT YET?!"

Shoto leaned against his locker, watching Bakugo curse afresh at his shoes. He had left double knots in them. "You can say you don't care, but you've been nicer to Midoriya lately. Midoriya? He absolutely cares about you. And I intend to avoid anything that might upset or bother him. So..." He didn't know how to finish. _So just tell me if you'll come after him or me, or be deeply injured if I make him my boyfriend._

Bakugo finished with his shoes. He looked up at Shoto like Shoto emitted a reek he found worth barfing at. "What the FUCK are you on about?"

"I don't want to upset him by upsetting you."

"FUCKING DUMBASS, ICY-HOT! Putting other people before yourself like that makes you a damn doormat, you know. Is _that_ why I wiped my feet all over you out there in training? Hah?! And what the fuck is this — bother Deku?" Bakugo's foot seemed to twitch. "Deku's shitty and useless and easily bothered by shit, sure — but what did I try to get through your thick skull already — in Recovery Girl's office, aah? About underestimating him? He's not some fucking delicate flower, asshole. If you're considering him too much, maybe THAT'S FUCKING WHY you're tense, AND he's not fucking banging you."

Shoto folded his arms across his chest. He thought, _Don't let him get to you._ Was that a smirk on Bakugo, or was it some kind of grimace? And why did Bakugo have to put images into his head about getting Midoriya in bed?

"Could you please try to take this seriously, instead of allowing the conversation to devolve into—"

" _What?_ Hah! That's not what this shit is about? About how you feel all teased by Deku, but are too much of a wuss to do something about it, so you're just blaming me... or using me as an excuse to procrastinate on getting moving instead?!"

A beat passed. Bakugo snorted, seeming to take Shoto's silence as confirmation.

"That is _not_ ," Shoto uttered, "what I am doing."

But even so, he felt a prick of some emotion in his chest. He _did_ feel teased by Midoriya; he'd called Midoriya a siren.

And yet Shoto knew if they were moving slowly in terms of getting intimate, it was because Shoto had _chosen_ to. Shoto was a good, well-behaved boy. He would much rather be teased than make the kind of mistake that would drive Midoriya away.

And it wasn't so wrong, was it, to want to pursue his relationship with Midoriya properly?

He ran through his future scenario one more time in his head just then. _Midoriya... will you be my boyfriend? I promise to make you happy._

Then he and Midoriya could try out more things. Share a more steamy kind of kiss. Only once it was official would Shoto dare to broach those topics. It just seemed safer and more polite that way, versus assuming anything, or taking Midoriya's body for granted. Even if Midoriya had said he didn't mind friends with benefits, Shoto had standards he wanted to keep.

Bakugo had been watching him. He didn't move to pick up his wet track suit, or his bag, or announce he was leaving. He just said, " _You're kidding yourself."_

Shoto tightened his folded arms. He kept his voice very even. He could be as cool as his ice when instigated in this fashion — if he controlled his urges to burst into fiery rage instead. "Stop trying to change the subject."

Of course, as if Bakugo would oblige him. "The SUBJECT fucking is, dipshit, your finding out that your prince act isn't going to work on him. Or work out well for you." Bakugo slammed his hand down on the bench. Then he pushed himself up with it, to a standing position, looking across the aisle space at Shoto. "So you're bringing your frustration in to fuck with _everything else._ Quit LYING TO YOURSELF, you bitch! Just say it — you don't have what it takes to please Deku. Deku's a little fucking slut, so it's no wonder he doesn't want your mushy, gross, polite-guy act! Face it."

Shoto dropped his arms to his sides. He pushed away from his locker, feeling his face suddenly flush. "Whether that might be true or not—" It _wasn't_ , he told himself vehemently, "—Midoriya deserves to be treated with respect. So you take back what you just said."

Midoriya was not a slut. How could Bakugo slander his childhood friend, his rival, with a word like that?

Bakugo smiled crazily and cracked the knuckles on both hands at once — simply by bending and flexing his fingers. "No WAY am I taking it back. 'Cause there's your fucking problem, haAH? Your sparkly damn idea — 'respect.'"

"Take it back, Bakugo. Right now."

Shoto didn't want to fight him. But with all these emotions whirling in him, even if it would be a bad idea... He might fight anyway.

How could Bakugo say such terrible things?

And what had given Bakugo the idea that Midoriya felt bored, or unaffected by Shoto's attentive kindness? Why _shouldn't_ Midoriya approve of a 'prince act?' Especially when all his life, he'd been dealing with Bakugo — the _opposite_ of a prince act. Bakugo... he was more like a barbarian.

Midoriya _deserved_ a prince. Midoriya was as gentle and practiced as much propriety as a princess, while astonishing people with his inner ability to go Plus Ultra like a king. So _what_ if — like a prince — Todoroki bent on one knee before him?

Bakugo crouched, like he could _smell_ Shoto's smoldering urge for a fight. "DOES YOUR IDEA OF RESPECT SATISFY HIM?" Shoto narrowed his eyes and tensed. "I'll tell you this one more time, in hopes that it gets through your useless damn head... Deku is too much of an idiot to ever communicate well what he wants, but if you just _read_ him, it's as clear as that fucking scar is on your face. He doesn't want 'respect.' That's fucking cold. That's distant."

Respect was cold and distant? Shoto didn't agree with that. Bakugo thought Shoto missed something in considering how to move forward with Midoriya? Not that Shoto trusted Bakugo's viewpoint. But, still... for Bakugo to develop such a viewpoint... "What—"

"LISTEN, 'cause I'm telling you! Deku is a _slut_ for mistreatment, even if his mouth says otherwise. He's damn _weak,_ so—"

"No. You're wrong." How could Bakugo _say_ these things? Did he honestly believe it? "Bakugo... he is the strongest person I know. And he does not want mistreatment."

"You're fucking twisting up my words... You don't LISTEN, you don't get it..."

Shoto was losing his temper more than it seemed Bakugo was. Why, why did Bakugo always make him want to throw away his rationality? And why, despite knowing it'd never be pleasant, did Shoto always end up _listening,_ indeed — no matter what Bakugo thought — to whatever Bakugo had to express? Did Shoto really need to deal with this for Midoriya's sake?

Or was that Bakugo's whole point? That Shoto was trying too hard to protect Midoriya, maybe babying him... when there was a limit to how much Midoriya would appreciate Shoto playing the prince for him?

Just because Shoto wanted to be Midoriya's Hero didn't mean that Midoriya _needed_ one. Was Bakugo trying to tell Shoto he had forgotten that?

Bakugo's expression twisted. "You want him? You want to whine at me, you want my fucking love advice? That _is_ why you keep YAKKING at me about Deku, you fucking asshole... RIGHT?! You want Deku? Then fucking TAKE HIM! Don't pussy out, Half and Half!"

Shoto faltered. His urge to brawl Bakugo died.

Bakugo's words almost sounded like a motivational speech. Was Bakugo actually supporting him?

"Just fucking _unleash the beast —_ if you've even got the drive, you damn limp dick — and pound him! Pound the fucking _shit_ out of him... and make the decision to do it before he has a chance to overthink, or fall back on his shitty manners, or you fall back on shitty yours. Don't bother waiting for his fucking permission — _that_ is how you get that shitty nerd to crave you. HAPPY NOW?"

Shoto fell frozen, horrified.

He was not happy now at all.

It took him a long time to swallow the queasiness Bakugo's words caused in him. "Rape," Shoto said hollowly. "You are suggesting rape to me." Pounding Midoriya without permission? Without first gaining his consent? Bakugo had just said that.

Did Bakugo think that _funny?_ Did Bakugo think he could insult Shoto and his affection for Midoriya like this? Did he think rape jokes were okay?

Bakugo's features twisted up. "What?! What the FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!"

"No," Shoto said frigidly. "What in the fuck is wrong with _you?_ "

Still no one had come into the locker room. Shoto almost wished someone had — to prevent the now-inevitable showdown.

A Hero would not let anyone get away with sick talk about rape like this.

"Who in the SHIT rapes _anyone?_ " Bakugo lunged farther away from the bench.

Shoto stepped backward — but into the lockers, for he had nowhere else to go right then.

Bakugo's livid breath grazed him, but Bakugo didn't touch him. "What do you _fucking think this is?_ " Bakugo's eyes appeared insane.

And then, very suddenly, Bakugo snatched Shoto's shoulder and hurled him disgustedly toward the floor.

Except Shoto rolled neatly, instead of fell sprawled. He dragged Bakugo down with him.

It didn't shut Bakugo's mouth. "Do you even understand WORDS?"

While Bakugo yelled, Shoto pinned him to the floor. He sat hard on Bakugo's hips. He flattened Bakugo's wrists against the tile, above Bakugo's head.

And when Bakugo bucked and kicked, Shoto pinned his legs to the floor as well. His heart rate sailed; blood pounded fast in his ears.

There was no way Shoto could let Bakugo cause a ruckus here. He redoubled the force behind his pin. Even if all Shoto wanted was to freeze Bakugo to the floor, and then melt and scorch him to his heart's content, slowly, so slowly... He could not do that here.

"I thought you were the child of Endeavor — full of idiot issues thanks to it, but not a dumbass VILLAIN, shitty dick! Don't be so unabashedly a creeper! Like I would tell you to RAPE him!"

Shoto considered that, panting — trying to keep track of all Bakugo's limbs... and his Quirk, which was sending out crackling sparks. He wondered who really was the worst between them with words, to prompt all of this. A drop of his sweat — or maybe rainwater — dripped from his temple and hit the floor beside Bakugo's neck. He breathed too hard and his bangs tickled his nose.

If he took Bakugo's statements at face value... he could be nothing but incensed and offended. Was Shoto _not_ actually meant to take the words at face value? With Bakugo, did one have to take the diction with multiple grains of salt, or assign slightly different meanings to the words than normal people always used? Did Bakugo say the _opposite_ of what he meant regularly, or simply twist words just enough that one had to read between the lines to decipher any true meaning or feelings?

What in the hell was Bakugo _telling him?_

Bakugo bucked and snarled again. " _If you go down that path,_ " he rasped, "then I don't care what Deku wants — I will fucking _kill you_. YOU UNDERSTAND?!"

Shoto swallowed more bitterness, more bile back from in his throat. His bangs tickled his nose again from the way he leaned over Bakugo to keep holding him fast. He ignored it.

He thought. Then he said to Bakugo, "No. No, I don't think I understand you... or that you and I understand each _other..._ ever, or even at all. I don't know if I believe Midoriya when he says he understands you. It's mildly disconcerting at best, a mounting crisis at its worst." A headache already blossomed to accompany the sick feeling in his stomach. Shoto felt like he'd fall apart. "I don't know anymore if all the complications and miscommunications in this three-way relationship come from you, me... or from Midoriya."

Bakugo paused, looking a bit like Shoto had slapped him with his sweaty track suit.

Were Shoto's words actually a surprise? He had a hard time buying that. Was it really that difficult to understand that nothing, nothing ever got _understood_ when it came to the three of them?

After a moment, Bakugo recovered. "'S 'cause you have fucking SHIT FOR BRAINS! What the SHIT are you on about, with three-way relationship shit?!" He didn't fight any more to get free.

Shoto didn't bother to explain. There were three, because Shoto had come in between, and because to keep Midoriya, Shoto had to deal with and survive Bakugo. That straightforward reality was not Shoto's concern right now.

Right now it was what Bakugo had expressed about _pounding_ someone who had not asked for it.

If Bakugo was not suggesting the blatant rape of Midoriya Izuku... then what? Some kind of consensual and sado-masochistic play? Did Bakugo really believe Midoriya's desires could be so disturbing or so base? That Midoriya _wanted_ to be mistreated, abused, or shamed the way Bakugo mistreated him, even if it was pretend? _More?_ That Midoriya might be _hungry_ for such games?

Midoriya had wanted to leave Bakugo behind him, because he didn't like Bakugo's cruel behavior toward him. Wasn't that the far more accurate truth?

Shoto brought his right hand to cover his mouth, aware that doing so would allow Bakugo's left arm free.

All Bakugo did was shove Shoto off his hips and sit up. And so Shoto's mind kept on whirling.

He knew there were people who got off in violent situations. Whips, chains, blood, verbal abuse. But there was no way Shoto could believe Midoriya wanted such things. And Shoto... Shoto would never be able to give them if Midoriya did.

Shoto couldn't be cruel like that. Even if Midoriya _asked_ for it, Shoto would have to draw a line. He could never, ever hurt the person he'd fallen so in love with.

He loved Midoriya for _taming_ the monster in him, for bringing out his gentleness. For helping him recall his gentleness existed in the first place. If Shoto threw all that away to do as Bakugo suggested, and dominated Midoriya completely... Even if it got Shoto the physical intimacy he wanted, it wouldn't feel right. Shoto would not only feel like he destroyed a boy who deserved nothing but love and care, but also... Shoto would feel like an outright abuser.

Shoto would feel like Endeavor. The similarities were clear, even if Endeavor's form of abuse wasn't sexual.

"Fucking... shit-stick..." Bakugo rubbed his wrists. Would he hit Shoto next, while Shoto sat off-guard?

Shoto was not his damn father. But even _resembling_ his father by yelling, or hurting someone he was supposed to love... Shoto would die before he would do that. And of all people — _all people —_ Midoriya would understand those sentiments.

No one understood Shoto's issues with his father better than Midoriya did. Midoriya was always, _always_ the person to encourage Shoto to be himself — the Shoto that was not like Endeavor. Therefore, Midoriya would never ask Shoto to do anything that made him uncomfortable by causing him to _relate_ to Endeavor.

They were friends. Even if they became lovers, or simply friends with benefits, Midoriya would never get off on anything that threatened Shoto's mental wellbeing. Bakugo could scoff at respect... but respect was the definition of what Shoto and Midoriya shared.

Respect between them was closeness and warmth. Midoriya had expressed he wanted to _care_ for Shoto, comfort him when he felt upset. If Shoto was a good, behaved boy... Midoriya was _doubly_ so. Neither of them would ever disrespect each other, even for the sake of... of kinky, rough sex. Not when they might possess mutual understanding and pleasure of a less demeaning sort instead.

Shoto _knew_ Midoriya. His Midoriya wasn't, as Bakugo put it, a slut for mistreatment who craved a pounding.

Shoto breathed. He felt better. Bakugo was wrong about this.

Bakugo seemed to recover; he finished tossing Shoto away, but did nothing else but stare for a minute. Like Shoto was a circus act. "The FUCK, _Vanilla_ Ice," he said at last. "You are entirely hopeless. Pick up a fucking book and _read_ sometime. Why the SHIT do _I_ have to give you sex advice, or teach you how to properly come onto him?!" His eyes popped; he looked deranged. And still disgusted at Shoto — from where he hunched now backed against the bench, still on the floor where they'd fallen. "Oh yeah — 'cause if I fucking _don't_ , my shot at passing this shitty course declines!"

Shoto just let him run his mouth. Bakugo was _wrong_ about it.

"Why the FUCK should I have to take shots from Gang Orca for you, AaaAHH? IF YOU DON'T STOP LETTING YOUR WANTON, LIMP DICK DISTRACT YOU FROM OUR—"

"You're wrong about Midoriya," Shoto said, looking at his hands.

But suddenly he was not sure anymore. So he stood up again, near the lockers.

He might be able to justify in his own mind why Bakugo was wrong... but he hadn't confirmed with Midoriya yet. And Bakugo sounded so sure of himself, and of Midoriya in this — which led Shoto to the terrible question of... _'Why?'_

"Bakugo," he said softly.

Bakugo halted in standing as well. He sat down again on the bench.

If Shoto took too long to speak this time — so hinted the tremble of Bakugo's shoulders — neither of them would leave the locker room unscathed. There would be a fight after all.

Shoto would have to be direct.

"Have you ever slept with Midoriya?" he asked. "Or done anything sexual with him?"

Nothing as of yet had indicated to Shoto anything like that — merely the _possibility_ of it, the potential for it to happen because desires swirled buried quietly there. But what would Shoto do if he found out he'd been naive for the whole time, and the answer to the questions he asked now was a resounding _yes?_

Shoto probably should have known it was a dangerous subject to broach — due to Bakugo's potential reaction, as well as whatever he might feel himself. But even if he had realized... he wouldn't have _understood_ how dangerous until the following moment.

The bench under Bakugo tipped over, and before Shoto could draw a breath, Bakugo had Shoto pinned to the wall of lockers.

Pinned by the throat.

His hands closed around Shoto's neck tighter. The burning reek of nitroglycerin pervaded the air; Bakugo was a split second away from blasting Shoto with his Quirk. The protruding number pad of the locker door under Shoto jabbed his rib cage. Shoto couldn't breathe — but he chose not to defend himself as of yet, no matter how uncomfortable it got.

Shoto needed to hear what Bakugo would say. Needed to understand what made him so mad about being asked.

Bakugo's hands shook. "Fuck, Todoroki..."

Use of his name. That meant either Bakugo was incensed _beyond_ even name-calling... or so dead serious that he compromised for once on his urge to belittle and insult. Shoto was right to hold his tongue and fight his instincts to break free.

Although the lack of air was becoming—

"In case you MISSED IT, these hands of mine are for making people DIE. Not for getting involved with that shitty little wanton _twink,_ giving it to him until he screams and begs and comes in my fingers... then finally _shuts up_ and quits WANTING ME because I gave him what he fantasized about in his wet dreams. GET IT?"

Bakugo kind of sounded... like he spoke from experience. But also like he didn't want Shoto to think so. He probably wasn't lying; they probably hadn't had sex. But either way, Shoto was quite clearly _not allowed to believe_ Bakugo would have slept with or messed around with 'Deku.'

Bakugo rattled him. "DO YOU GET IT?"

Shoto got it. The grip around his throat simply prevented him from indicating so. Bakugo still cared for Midoriya, still wouldn't risk intimacy with Midoriya so long as he knew his feelings were volatile, twisted, poisonous things that might result in true physical harm thanks to the nature of his Quirk. But still... To address it in such a manner felt sickening. The level of violence and lewd language Bakugo employed made Shoto want to puke — as well as fight right now for air to breathe.

He wanted to listen, still. But if Bakugo _killed_ him first — and when Shoto was actually _trying_ to understand — well then, where would they both be?

He writhed a bit. "Baku—"

"No." Bakugo wasn't going to let him speak. "You shut the FUCK up and focus on me. People don't always get what they want in this Quirk-laden, fucked up damn world, Icy-Hot." Bakugo's breath came moist and ragged at his ear. "Does that make any SENSE to your half-brain? A Hero SUCKS THAT DAMN REALITY UP and keeps going. I'm not so fucking wanton or so weak that I get caught up in this shit like you! I am BETTER than you," Bakugo pressed him into the locker harder, "better than everyone — even still better than shitty Deku..."

Shoto's hands closed onto Bakugo's wrists. It was instinct, roaring instinct to pull Bakugo's chokehold away, to fight back... but he didn't do anything but squeeze Bakugo's wrists in a subtle warning. _You might choke me to passing out._

He tried to listen to Bakugo's explanation. But he started to feel dizzy. His left side began emitting defensive steam before he could rein it in.

If Bakugo noticed, he didn't care. He just squeezed Shoto's throat harder and continued on in a hiss.

"Don't you dare think for a SECOND that I have to fuck Deku senseless... that I need coat him in cum to understand who he is, or how he works, or who we are to each other. I'm saying that's what YOU should do, _douchebag —_ if you're so damn clueless and conflicted and don't want _him_ to be either!" Bakugo lifted Shoto off the locker door, then slammed him back again — harder. "FUCKING FUCK'S SAKE, IDIOT!"

It hurt. Shoto's ribs in back would probably bruise from striking the protruding number lock. His neck would absolutely bruise; his windpipe felt like it might crack. Bakugo wouldn't actually kill him, because Bakugo was no Villain... but he would do enough damage to get his point across... and he would be judging that damage amount by the strength he knew Shoto possessed. Because Shoto was powerful, Bakugo wouldn't hold back. Recovery Girl would probably ask questions about who'd done such a calculated thing... and Shoto would never tell her.

He realized he wouldn't tell anyone. Because the truth was, it also hurt Shoto deep in the _pride_ to have allowed this, and now to let it continue. But he wanted to learn something, somehow move forward thanks to this.

Definitely, Shoto thought, the irony penetrating through his pain... he didn't get turned on by violence. Even if he could register, now — especially from this close — how strong Bakugo was, and how that strength and his good looks might appeal to _anyone's_ taste... Bakugo's attitude, his personality was a complete and utter turn-off. Shoto didn't want to be dominated by somebody he didn't like. Every second of this encounter bothered him.

But Bakugo was... Bakugo was... supporting the idea, somehow, of Shoto making advances on Midoriya?

This was a motivational speech after all?

"Are you still fucking listening, or are you dying, Half and Half?"

Never once had Shoto needed or sought Bakugo's support, approval or permission to come between, or to pursue Midoriya. But if Shoto understood this right — if Bakugo _didn't_ aim to openly hinder any progress Shoto might make, then Shoto wanted to know that. He wanted to keep listening so that he could make damn certain.

He tried to nod, to show he wasn't dying yet.

Making certain of Bakugo's intent would help Shoto avoid fixating on a rivalry that didn't actually exist. It would keep him from resembling his father — from mimicking Endeavor in his insistence that a competition broiled between him and All Might... when All Might had never once seen it like that. Bakugo was a far cry from All Might. But All Might was Bakugo's favorite Hero, s-so...

Shoto couldn't breathe. In another moment, he knew he'd black out. The lack of oxygen would just—

"This is the one and only time I'll say what I am about to." Bakugo's grip on his neck shook. "So cock those FUCKING EARS OF YOURS — and your actual _cock_ after this — and LISTEN: _Satisfy that shitty nerd._ " Bakugo swallowed; his voice sounded thick. "Figure it the fuck out and make it work. Don't cry to me. Don't fuck it up. Don't disappoint Deku. Do you understand?"

At last, Bakugo loosened his grip on Shoto's throat — the slightest calculated, incremental bit.

Shoto did not waste the chance given him. " _Yes_."

If he thought, however, that his submission would finally make Bakugo easier on him, he was wrong.

Bakugo squeezed him all over again — after he allowed Shoto to suck half a breath. "Give Deku every damn thing he deserves... or I will _wreck you,_ Half and Half bastard. And," Bakugo laughed hollowly, "god damn... you know what? Wrecking you in that case might actually make me a better Hero."

Bakugo snarled... and finally let Shoto go.

Shoto slid to the floor, wheezing. The ground seemed to rise toward his face very fast... Was he really tipping over?

Perhaps he'd been a blink from his death after all... and simply not understood it.

More words came, as Bakugo finished his thought — almost like he spoke to himself. "Regardless of what I currently do or don't do for that nerd... if I rid him of a fuck-up extra like you, who can't please him, who only keeps him waiting, aching... I would fucking be _saving him_."

Blessed air filled Shoto now, but for some reason, he still felt consciousness retreat... with the reek of nitroglycerin poisoning his nostrils, choking his throat now instead of warm hands.

 _Damn_ , he thought, slipping. He should have fought back.

If Midoriya were here, he probably would have asked Shoto, _What the hell are you doing?_

Bakugo's feet stalked away. The tremors of his weight crossing the floor were the last conscious sensation Shoto registered.

But the parting shot was the last thing Shoto _heard_.

"And if shit all twists up _that_ much, so much that I turn into Deku's Hero, even after all the shitty complications that we've had... who knows what _else_ might change afterward, aah?" The voice faded, drifting with Shoto's consciousness. "You might lose to me for _real_ then, Todoroki... and Deku's heart might end up mine after all."


	14. SPECIAL INTERIM CHAPTER

**IMPORTANT Author Note:** _This chapter isn't an actual chapter, but rather, a gift I've written for the people reading this story._

 _Thank you very much for waiting for me. I haven't updated lately... and I don't plan to soon. My life is rough right now (work, housing, money, you name it), and I am waiting for Season 4 of the anime before I truly continue (the anime inspires me better than the manga does). But in the mean time, I wanted to post — to show that I am grateful to you all._

 _Your reviews and DMs mean so much. They cheer me up during the times I need a hero. Even if the following two shorts aren't what you wanted or aren't as developed/polished, please enjoy them a little! They are not designed to be part of this fic's canon or necessarily consistent with it, but I wrote them aiming to capture similar moods and chemistries as the ones in 'Third One Between.'_

 _The first short is for the readers who've been interested in and/or invested in Midoriya and Bakugo's complex relationship._

 _The second is for the readers who've been driven nuts by my [painfully] slow burn between Midoriya and Todoroki. It should be a bit of relief, and a promise that more will eventually come._

 _Both are written from Midoriya's perspective, for something different. Thank you all!_

* * *

Midoriya Izuku

Hero Analysis Entry #431 — on Bakugo Katsuki.

This entry isn't for supplemental notes on the subject's Quirk, but rather to reflect on an event I'm worried might come to bear later on any interactions I have with him.

Sigh. I just have to write it.

Something happened today and I don't know how else I should process it. I guess I've always been good at analysis of _everything,_ so I'll just write my thoughts down until they make sense? Or I can just make it brief like a regular report, and relate bullet points? I don't know how that would look on paper. I don't know if words or even bullet points would help. How should I start, how should I start?

Today... Today, after All Might put us through the obstacle course race—

Ah, no. This is going to be hard. I don't even want to write it. Maybe I won't just jump straight into it.

I can write about the race. As for my personal performance in it, I have to assess my shortcomings. I think I did well keeping to my 5% power limit, but in the end I lost my footing. I still have a lot to learn. Sero deserved to win though; I can't believe sometimes how fast he moves. I need to update his entry; I think he's gotten even better with his tape.

Anyway. When class was over today, we all collected outside the race course and got ready to head back toward the UA main building, because next it was lunch time. Some people were tired from our exercise, and some seemed much more fired up. I think I was somewhere in the middle.

So far this entry sounds really stiff, huh?

I guess I can't avoid jumping straight to things about Kacchan.

I've had a sort of 'Kacchan sense,' ever since we were little kids. I know people have Quirks like that, but since I was born Quikless, I don't think my 'sense' works as well as people who have 'searching' Quirk abilities. Still, when we were little, I learned to feel when Kacchan was nearby me, by paying discreet attention to things like how Kacchan sometimes mutters under his breath... or the ominous presence he has in general, or the smell of his sweat that's so different from anyone else's. It might be egotistical of me, but I think an ability to sense Kacchan's location is pretty cool. At the very least, it makes for a better defense mechanism against him.

But Kacchan took off really quickly after class ended today. When All Might had us file out, I didn't notice him within our group — but if he broke off and went ahead, I didn't notice that, either. And I already knew he wasn't behind still, on the race course. It made me a little nervous. The rest of the class was already disappearing in front of me, but I was stuck wondering where Kacchan was. I'm sure Iida and Uraraka would have waited up for me, maybe even some of the others... but I was standing still, outside the race course, trying to consider where Kacchan might have gone... and Todoroki glanced back at me.

I only met Todoroki's eyes back for an instant, but...

Ah, I have a note on that as well. I might as well write it down here. Todoroki is getting almost uncannily good at reading me. A lot happened at Hosu with Hero Kill— I shouldn't write that, in case anyone picks this notebook up.

Ah, but if I'm concerned about that, then I shouldn't be writing in here in the first place. Honestly, if anybody were to pick this up and see my thoughts about anything, never mind about Todoroki or Kacchan... Ah, no, definitely I shouldn't be writing _any_ of this — but I am anyway, so the only solution is to guard this notebook with my very life, or copy the delicate information into an even more secret place, and then—

Sorry. Where was I? With Todoroki.

Todoroki has made a lot of progress since the festival. He's gone from a surly person turned inward toward his own family issues to the type of person who could throw himself so easily into helping Iida in Hosu. When we took on Hero Kill— I still don't feel like I should write about that even secretly, because it ended up involving the police... Anyway, note to self to update Todoroki's section of my analysis notebooks; he's been using his left side a lot more now and becoming a fuller person than I would have thought was possible in such a short amount of time. I think Iida was in awe, too.

Is it weird to analyze Todoroki's personality like that, instead of just the way he uses his Quirk and approaches fighting?

Is it weird to pick people apart this way, when I can't even analyze myself?

...I just... spent a few minutes staring into space above my desk at that one All Might poster that I accidentally tore in the corner. Back then I thought the tape job I did on it was excellent, but I just noticed the tape I used was the kind that starts yellowing after time, so I notice it more now than I did before.

My spacing out is no good.

Todoroki glanced back at me as everybody was leaving the race course. I met his eye for only a moment, but I think he could tell I was worried and yet wanted to be left alone. Todoroki hardly ever talks to people, even if after Hosu he's been more friendly with me and Iida... but he asked Uraraka a question to distract her from looking back for me, and drew Iida in, and away they all went. So thanks to Todoroki I had a minute to breathe.

I took off my costume right there by the benches and draped it over one of my shoulders; I was wearing a T-shirt and a pair of tight shorts underneath. I knew I would need to go to the locker rooms and change back into my uniform with everyone else. I think I remember I popped my knuckles and then leaned over to rest my hands on my knees. I was staring at the tarmac and thinking, _All Might wants to see me after class,_ and getting worried about it again, when I heard the noise of something being dropped — from not far around the corner everyone had already disappeared around. Maybe somebody was lagging behind?

All Might wanted to talk to me. It sounded important and I wanted to go, but his voice when he told me to meet him... It had just seemed so foreboding. Gran Torino had told me I should ask All Might about his past, but I might have hesitated because, well. All Might is the greatest Hero. 'Anything that makes the greatest Hero look dark is probably something terrifying.' That's what I thought. And looking back on it right now, All For One is a serious evil that I'm still not sure I'm imagining accurately. He's had whole lifetimes by now to exist and perfect his Villain persona. If even All Might's One For All couldn't completely defeat him back then— I'm scared. I'm really petrified. But if One For All was created in order to defeat All For One, then it can only get stronger every time it's passed down the line.

All Might gave this legacy to me, and I don't have the luxury of cowering. I have to be ready to face All For One's tremendous evil myself, if he really is the mastermind behind the League of Villains. I _will_ be ready. I don't intend to let All Might down... and as long as he's here, I feel like I can handle anything.

But I really can't let anyone pick up this notebook now, ever. I'll devise a great hiding place for this thing. Maybe I won't even look at it again myself.

That's right. These pages will never be found. Which means I can write down whatever I want. In any detail, even if it's a lot, and I shouldn't have to feel awkward about it. Even if it's private things that involve myself and Kacchan.

I can write it.

...Stop procrastinating, Midoriya Izuku! Why did you pick up this notebook if you didn't want to examine what happened between you and Kacchan? This is only words on a page. Words on a page. Words on a page.

If you don't write down your experience, I will Full Cowl you into the wall, until you come to your senses!

Sigh.

I went around the corner to make my way back to the main building and the locker rooms. Kacchan was _there_ , out of sight — and the loud noise I had heard was him removing and dropping the big arm pieces of his costume to the ground. He'd been first to leave, but not first to the locker rooms. Was Kacchan hanging back and waiting for me?

Ah, great. Now I've come to the part where I have to imagine Kacchan's voice and write it here in my notebook. It's like he's in the room with me. Isn't having 'Kacchan sense' and having to picture his expression enough?

So Kacchan had his back to me, but he twitched at my step. He looked over his shoulder, and he growled at me once. " _Deku._ "

"K-Kacchan!" I said, and then I stopped, because most of the time that's what I always do. It gets hard to predict Kacchan sometimes. I don't like to make a move or instigate him before I know what kind of mood he's in. This time though, I thought I could tell. I was getting ready to laugh nervously and just walk around him, leaving lots of distance, while he threw a loud slew of insults at me and started yelling that he would be number one. That's almost always what he does.

But this time, after I said his name, he just let out a little noise, and dropped his eyes to the ground like the pieces of his costume. He looked upset? Maybe I was wrong. It's hard to tell with a face like Kacchan's. If... if I have Full Cowl, then I guess Kacchan has Full Scowl.

In any case, it looked like this time he didn't plan to yell at me. I decided to go straight by, because I knew I needed to change and meet All Might. Or at least, that's what I told myself.

When it comes to Kacchan, I think I've always been a little reckless. I don't think he's the only one to blame for the way he treats me. I need to admit that. Here, now.

I need to explain what I mean.

It's not that when I'm nice to him, or when I rescue him from sludge villains, I'm doing it because I know that it will rub him the wrong way and make him explode. That's not it, that's not the kind of recklessness I'm talking about. I don't try to provoke him childishly for my own entertainment. I really do want to save Kacchan or give him my hand when I can, despite that he never wants to take it. Actions like that aren't what I mean.

He turns me reckless in a different way. He makes me want to protect him, but since he refuses protection in so many ways, I've got to get creative and do it by... well, instead of by defending him with a Detroit Smash or something, by preserving his essence, essentially.

That sounds strange. Aaah, how to explain?

Kacchan's moods aren't easy to read, but some of them I'm good at reading now. He has a couple that turn me into someone I don't recognize... One mood is when he challenges me, or goads me and doesn't let up, versus just insulting or dismissing me. At those points, I sink to his level and engage with him, swearing and smack-talking and it gets so gross, because that's not the person I'm trying to be. I just can't help it; I have to speak his language if I want to be acknowledged by him or prove something to him. But the other mood is the one I think is key to the struggle I'm having today.

He has a face that's slightly different from his usual Full Scowls, and when I see it... it makes me reckless, like I said. It makes me want to bother him with any method possible. Because the truth is, when I look at Kacchan and he seems slightly off, I wonder if he hurts inside. I wonder if all his explosive energy takes a toll somewhere that other people can't see. It makes me want to reach out and try to help Kacchan even more — even when he's not in any clear danger — despite knowing my meddling annoys him. When Kacchan looks so broken... I can't leave him alone. I can't. But I know he'd hate it if he ever knew that. So I sometimes I feel driven to try to do things that will get us back to status quo. Like 'accidentally' mention something about how badly I still want to be a great Hero, because I know it will make him exasperated. Or... spill my heart out to him as he's leaving school upset about being outdone by Todoroki, and almost give away All Might's secret, as I reveal that my Quirk didn't manifest, but rather was passed down to me.

I shouldn't have told Kacchan that. I'm still kicking myself.

Idiot, Izuku.

But that's exactly what I mean. Recklessness... and it's dangerous. It's not the smartest way to address our problems. But I can't help it, because I feel like there's no choice if I want to protect Kacchan, protect everything he is. It's make him yell at me like usual with something trivial, or — worse — try to make him feel better first, with something like honesty or... or softness, despite knowing he probably doesn't want it... until he yells at me again _then,_ like usual. I've got to make him yell at me, or he's not being usual. And there's no other way than like this to get it.

It's that I want Kacchan to always be Kacchan. Always be his usual self. That's what I mean when I say I want to preserve his essence. And to do it, I have to be _my_ usual self. The Deku that Kacchan dislikes.

It's really twisted, isn't it. But... but it's always been that way.

In any case, Kacchan isn't Kacchan when he isn't fully confident. It's his confidence that I've always looked up to. So even if my intentions to return him to himself come back at me like whiplash when he yells, I'd rather make Kacchan treat me poorly and insult me like normal than see him stay so sad or so vulnerable.

But today I think I went too far, and that is what I need to write about.

I decided to go past Kacchan, between him and the hedges down the path to the locker rooms. But I didn't leave a few arm lengths between us, like I normally do for safety. If I'm honest, I did it on purpose because I could tell Kacchan felt some kind of turmoil, and again, if I bothered him... then he might go back to normal.

I got what I wanted fast. Since Kacchan could reach me, he shot out his hand and grabbed me by the throat.

Before I could take a breath, he'd backed me against the high, prickly hedge. But his grip didn't have the resolution that it usually does. I put my hand around his wrist, but he was already talking.

"The HELL was that out there, Deku?! What kind of internship did you do that gave you an ability like that? What was all that green lightning?" His grip wasn't the same, but still. That didn't mean I had the air to speak to answer his angry questions. "Suddenly, you're so capable..."

And then Kacchan let me go.

I coughed a moment. Kacchan didn't step away, but he did stop looking at me. Even though my eyes were watering, I glanced up from where I'd bent over to breathe, and I could tell he was... distraught? I don't know if it was that.

But he wasn't entirely Kacchan, and that worried me.

"Taking my moves," Kacchan murmured. The breeze outside stirred his hair.

When Kacchan murmurs, his voice gets low and husky, and I can't keep my composure around that. I know why, now that all of this has happened. Should I write it? No, I don't want to.

I can just justify it by saying... by saying again that he usually yells. Right. So it's weird when he isn't. Not anything else, like alluring somehow or—

A-anyway. Um.

This. This will not go downhill here. This will not go downhill until you properly tell this story, Izuku.

I finally managed to speak. "I-I'm sorry! But not really, because your moves are really useful and amazing, Kacchan." I said it because I knew there was a chance a switch would flip in him, and Kacchan would holler and call me names as soon as he heard me talk to him. Sometimes he tells me even my voice is annoying, besides everything else about me. And I'd always rather have _that_ than him worrying he's become inferior to me now that I have a Quirk, or that I'm closing the gap between us... even if, slowly, I am. That's exactly what I'm doing. "I-In any case, I'm on my way somewhere," I said. Kacchan hated being reminded there were pressing things in the world that weren't him. "I have to meet somebody, and..." But at that point I trailed off.

Kacchan was looking at me with a pinched and flickering expression I'd never seen on him before. And then he scanned me up and down, slowly, so slowly I probably blushed.

He'd never looked at me like that before. If Kacchan considers me, he never does it right where I can see.

But as soon as his once-over finished, Kacchan looked away from me. He just stood very still, blocking my escape by becoming a silent wall. His eyes looked unfocused as he stared at the UA main building in the distance, and I realized that his face was almost relaxed; the wrinkles all around his eyes from glaring weren't there that moment. His arms were loose down by his sides.

Kacchan wasn't going to yell or hit me. I think he was... reflecting.

"Deku."

"Y-yes?"

"Are you messing with me?"

"About what? No, I'm not. Kacchan—"

"What happened to you, Leg Engine, and that Half-and-Half bastard in Hosu?" His voice got a little harder.

"You already know the whole story! The whole class heard it this morning!" My voice was rising higher. For Kacchan to ask questions without snarling still isn't something I'm used to. He looked back at me then, directly, and I pressed myself farther against the hedge.

All Kacchan did was leave me there, and walk off for the locker rooms, carrying his costume arm pieces.

I grabbed and held onto my Hero costume and followed him. I felt confused. But I kept a few meters behind, with my eyes on the ground, only now and then taking glances up to analyze Kacchan as we went.

Was he worried I was catching up to him? Annoyed to be in the dark about Hosu? I couldn't read him at all, and it was making me nervous.

In the locker rooms, Kaminari was talking with Tokoyami about whether Tokoyami could properly slurp noodles through his beak. Lunch Rush was scheduled to serve cold soba. That was probably why Todoroki had already changed and gone very quickly. But everybody still changing stopped to ask Kacchan and I what had taken so long. Kacchan only grunted, so I gave them a nervous smile.

I started to change clothes. Mineta found a hole in the wall leading to the girl's locker room...

I'm glad Iida lectured him. I guess it's okay to write the following in here: I'm not sure I like Mineta that much as a person, even if he has a Quirk that would be useful in certain situations.

Anyway, I changed. I got partway into my white collared shirt when everyone else was leaving. Kacchan was still at his locker; I knew it without even turning around. Finally, when I did glance back, I saw he was already dressed. His jacket was closed and his hands were crammed in his pockets, but he wasn't moving. He seemed to be staring at his closed locker.

I sighed and dawdled with my shirt buttons. If I didn't know better still, I would say Kacchan was waiting — almost as if he wanted to talk to me. But by the time I had the thought, Kacchan was pivoting to stalk toward the door. He reached to hitch his book bag up higher, and that was all, as he passed me. His face had a cloudy look.

I shut my eyes and I stammered. "K-Kacchan—"

I didn't think he was going to stop. He usually ignores me if he doesn't feel like listening. But my voice called his eyes to me, and when he looked, he seemed to stop without control. I knew my shirt buttons were still open at the bottom, because I always began from the top. Kacchan was standing within arm's reach of me because my locker was the one beside the door.

"What in the hell..." Kacchan's eyes travelled down my body. "... _are_ you now?" He was murmuring again. Almost uncertainly, Kacchan's free hand stretched out. Before I could react, his fingers twitched aside the bottom flap of my white shirt. "When did you get like this, Deku?"

He finally sounded more typically angry. I thought if I could just fuel his fire, he would yell and stomp away and we'd be normal like always. I wouldn't have to wonder any more or feel worried that his brow appeared so troubled.

Kacchan was looking at my stomach? I said, "I've been training since before the school year started. And I trained a little more at my internship."

Kacchan seemed to be analyzing my abs. Did the amount of muscle there surprise him? His brow darkened... and then he stepped forward.

I dropped my tie and backed into the lockers.

Kacchan still had my shirt pinched between his fingers. He wasn't looking at my eyes. He was just frowning down at my abs. "Seriously, what the hell, Deku... Who said you could get like this, you shitty nerd?" Then he snorted. His expression returned almost to normal; his eyes filled up with his usual scorn. "Not like they're as solid as mine, asshole. You shit sti—"

But my breath hitched. I probably made a brief sound.

Before Kacchan had let my shirt fall back down, he'd brushed his fingertips in a line down my abdomen as he spoke, pulling away just before he reached my waistline.

My sound made Kacchan freeze — like Todoroki had iced him. But eventually, when he raised his eyes to me, I covered my mouth to stifle a groan.

You see... there's this... complication I've discovered on my side of everything I share with Kacchan. I've been trying for so long not to admit it to myself, or to anyone. But this is my notebook and I can write what I want.

Because suppressing it clearly does no one any good.

I respect Kacchan. I do. I admire him and I want to preserve him. But I don't _like_ him. I don't want to... and yet, it's hard to deny that his body is just...

His eyes are such an amazing garnet color and his hair looks all stiff but it's actually really soft which I learned that one time his mom made us have a sleepover as kids and he had a nightmare but didn't wake up so I patted his head and, too, his chest is so ripped and I don't think I've ever seen anyone with arms quite like his, and even the way he walks is something appealing so I guess I'm just aesthetically attracted to his physical looks and I think I like men but I've never confirmed except for I asked All Might once if he thought liking guys would complicate my Hero work and he just laughed and told me about his 'friend' named Dave and segued into asking me about Kacchan so I think he knows what track I'm on BUT IT'S NOT WHAT IT SEEMS LIKE I SWEAR and I never wanted to have to address any of these things or make things so much more complicated when Kacchan and I can't even communicate on a basic level, except I just can't help but respond to Kacchan's sex appeal I guess and since puberty hit it's always been like this in the back of my head where I try to ignore it but ignoring it doesn't work!

That was a run-on sentence.

Anyway. Kacchan was so close, and I could smell his unique scent that comes from when his regular sweat mixes with his nitroglycerin. He'd never touched me before. Ever. At least, not in a casual way like that. He's hit me plenty of times. Was what he'd just done an accident, or his light exploration and confirmation that my muscles weren't some kind of joke?

The look Kacchan fixed on me was even worse. It was like he couldn't believe anything had come from my mouth — or at least not anything like the sound I'd suddenly made. His expression seemed to be hesitation. Bafflement? Certainly disbelief... and he looked suddenly vulnerable again as I realized a little of his look held fear, like he didn't like what he suspected my sound meant.

It was a slightly aroused sound. It was.

So what could I do but confess to him? If I didn't, wouldn't he draw his own conclusions? He might just make everything worse than it was.

"I-I'm sorry, Kacchan, but you touched me without warning and your hand was a little warm, and so I just— S-Such a sensation was a little— th-that is, I might be sensitive there. Or at least I am if it's with you. Crap, I mean— not that people touch me all the time and I can really compare to know for sure. But if you get too close and you're not shouting at me or saying you think I should die, there's always been a little tension I think, and I've tried to ignore it, but you're making it potent now; I'm sorry for making you find out like this, and if you want you can just pretend you never noticed it. What would help avoid situations like this is _please don't speak so softly and do things to me like that without permission!_ "

Kacchan makes me do — makes me say — reckless things.

Kacchan's eyes went wide like kites swelling with air, and he swallowed. He looked like he wanted to be sick in a corner. So that meant he would leave, right? Get mad like usual and leave.

But his eyes didn't leave me, and neither did he. And his brow still held a trace of tension behind what I was coming fast to realize was his... his rational digestion of what I had said. His consideration of it.

Kacchan? Consideration?

I still opened my mouth further. I think I was afraid to let him reply to me, in case _his_ answer frightened or otherwise mortified _me_.

"Wh-what I'm saying is, Kacchan, for as much as you're violent and kind of a pain when you're being yourself, I also... When you aren't scowling, you aren't bad looking, and the fact that you don't seem murderous right now is just making it that much more noticeable. And I don't want you to hate me any more than you already do, but you probably should, because Kacchan, if you don't, if you come to me looking like you are right now, like you're upset and something has hurt you, then I'm going to want to be tender toward you. But we aren't kids anymore, so when I say that, it sounds like I mean something else and I'm not really sure sometimes I don't, and if we walk into that territory..."

Kacchan didn't say a word, which I thought was miraculous. But what he did next cut me off as surely as if he'd raised his voice and ordered me to shut up.

He jerked and looked away from me, down at the locker room floor. His hands fisted at his sides. He wet his lips, but didn't speak.

That was when I knew something was definitely wrong with my Kacchan.

I did up my shirt buttons hastily. I think I did them crookedly. What should I do? What should I—?

And then I tried to speak _for_ him. "I sh-sh-shouldn't speak, right? 'Shut up, Deku, you useless pebble; what the hell kind of twisted thing are you trying to tell me?' Right?" My voice was shaking. But I needed to make words and carry out our conversation because he wasn't.

I didn't bother with my uniform jacket after I buttoned my shirt. _Go and see All Might,_ I reminded myself.

Although I probably was red and needed some time to cool down. I should have been with Todoroki, eating cold soba and asking him to ice it again for me if my ice melted.

I took a step, but Kacchan shot a hand out to my chest to shove me back.

I hit the lockers with a crash. Part of me relaxed at that, because it was very 'Kacchan' of him to do... but part of me got annoyed. Will Kacchan _ever_ learn to address me without pushing me around?

Kacchan opened his mouth to speak again, his eyes boring into me, but he couldn't talk.

Somehow, I'd made Kacchan speechless. That or a Villian no one had noticed had stolen Kacchan's voice with a Quirk.

Still, I assumed what he wanted to ask. And I was unnerved completely by this version of Kacchan. I gave Kacchan a voice again, quoting what I thought he wanted to say. "'Deku, are you really trying to tell me you've been looking at me that way? Whether you're messing with me or not... die.' Th-that's what you'd probably tell me right now... right?"

Kacchan's face twitched. Did he not like that I'd assumed? But come on. I knew I was right.

"What the fucking _fuck_ , you little shit?" His hand stayed plastered to my chest to hold me against the lockers.

Then he did something awful. He squinted and dragged his fingertips down my abdomen and along my waist again, letting his touch slip slightly underneath the waistline of my pants this time.

I yelped at his touch and covered my mouth with both hands. Kacchan backed off as if burned.

And yet, like he was doing an experiment, his face remained carefully blank, and he stayed standing so close I could have counted his pale eyelashes.

Then, " _Damn_ , Deku," he said, voice hoarse. He sounded disbelieving, and like the end of a fraying rope. "Wanton shit stick... Even though I could have just _blasted_ you just now..."

"I'm n-not exaggerating, here!" I squeaked. My face burned, and the breaths that hit my palms as I kept my mouth covered were hot with them. "You thought I was lying, so you tested me? Is that what that was just now? I wasn't lying to you! I'm not trying to play a joke. I really am a little sensitive to you. And now that I'm thinking about it a lot, it's starting to affect me even more." I shifted as much as I could against the lockers, trying not to focus on anything about Kacchan's body. This was too new; this had never happened before, this kind of confrontation between us. _I_ hadn't even ever expected it. Or imagined it. Not at school. Not in daylight. Not anywhere Kacchan could have found out what I felt. Not where we'dhave to assess it between us. "I don't like it either — but if I don't tell the truth, then in this state, when you look so upset, I _really don't know what will happen if you keep—"_

"Then what do you want me to do? Aah?"

It was an odd question, and it made me stop. Kacchan never cared what I wanted. And right now he looked like he was about to fall apart somehow.

Wh-what...?

Surely Kacchan wasn't asking what I wanted him to do because he didn't know what to do right then himself? He could just barrel away, or punch me in the jaw, couldn't he?

"K-Kacchan, I don't really know."

"You dumbass shitty piece of turd." Kacchan finally grit his teeth. " _I'm asking you if you're turned on and what in the fuck you expect_ thanks to it. What in the hell are you thinking anymore?"

At that point I was fairly certain someone with a Quirk was manipulating the situation. I know Fantasy Girl has an ability to make people hallucinate their daydreams.

This Kacchan was a dream Kacchan, asking me my preferences like he'd actually indulge me.

"I'm n-not turned on yet! Look at where we are! But... but if I were to get there?" I asked what I shouldn't have, high-pitched and feeling feverish. I've always been too curious for my own good.

There was a pause so long I almost ran to find All Might right then. There was no reason for me to be having this conversation. It wasn't normal for us. So why did I start it?

Kacchan paused, with his hands flexing and unflexing beside his legs — almost as if he were restless. Instead of murderous? But _why?_ His body was so close, and I...

I _will_ write it here.

I wanted him. I realized I wanted Kacchan, more than anything else in that moment. If he planned to tease me like this or indulge me even a bit, then I would probably let him.

I must have let out some kind of whimper, because Kacchan squinted at me one more second. I think he felt as uncertain as I did.

I almost wonder if his eyes didn't hold a little contempt or pity, too. That would be just like Kacchan, to confront even something he found distasteful because he thought it might put him farther above me. But right then Kacchan was the one caught most off-guard, by my assessment, and I think he realized the symbolism of being in the less dominant position — because I also saw embarrassment and fury with his hesitation and his uncertainty.

He was looking for _me_ to take the initiative, I realized. Waiting for _me_ to dictate what would happen next. Kacchan never, _ever_ did that.

Had we dived into territory beyond him? Had I shocked him as badly as that?

Kacchan only repeated his question again. "If you were turned on... then what would you want me to do about it, Deku?"

"A-are you saying you would do it if I asked?"

His fist slammed into the locker behind me, and it sounded like he dented it. I didn't look. I didn't look at anything but the side of his neck peeking out through his collar, because he refused to wear a tie to school like everybody else, and that was attractive. He leaned to talk into my ear. "Say it. Grow a fucking pair and say it."

I didn't think I should have needed to appease his ego. But if I didn't give Kacchan what he wanted... then he was just going to keep torturing me.

Because that's... that's what it had to be. Kacchan was torturing me, right? Kacchan ultimately decided, after learning my feelings, that he'd use them to make fun of and control me. What else could it possibly be?

Anything else wouldn't be like Kacchan. So it's likely he decided to lord my attraction over me. Use it as more proof I was weak and could never hope to be as impressive as him. Whatever his arrogant logic is.

Anything else... it wouldn't be okay. Anything else kinder that Kacchan might have felt would mean the two of us have been stupid, a long time. It would mean that since childhood, we've both been ignoring feelings, never communicating, becoming slow rivals who can't even team up together without a mess... when we might never have needed to. When, if we'd been more daring or more successful, or maybe _both_ willing to be more vulnerable, we might have been something else entirely. And to think that either of us could have let a mistake of that level happen, could have failed so hard in such a close and important relationship...

Well, who wants to admit that? Even I have some pride to worry about.

So I treated Kacchan the way I always did. I defended myself, defended his essence, kept things at status quo with the next thing I said.

I tried to make him really mad. "I'd probably want a hug or something? Or for... you to touch me... really erotically with your hands. Gently, because I know that deep down, Kacchan, there's a part of you that's the opposite of how aggressive you are on the outside." Kacchan hated hearing me accuse him of being capable of tenderness — even if sometimes I suspected it was true. Tenderness was what only _I_ risked between us, and he'd never, ever appreciated it.

But I must have said something wrong, still. It didn't work like I wanted. He didn't yell, he didn't break away, didn't beat me into a pulp.

I'd failed again.

"If that's what you fucking want," Kacchan scoffed — but he swallowed, too, with his voice thick, and he fisted his hand against the locker hard, so I could smell the nitroglycerin sweat that had collected — "then you're even more idiotic than I thought."

"Um." He sounded like I had betrayed him somehow. Why?

Why, and what should I do?

"Who do you think I am, Deku?" He jerked away and glared at me. And then he grabbed me by the chin and made sure that I looked at him. "HAAH? Who the FUCK do you think I am that I would do that fucking shit?!"

"A-all right, I know," I stammered. This. Much better. I knew how to deal with all _this._ "You don't like me at all. You would never really want—"

"USE YOUR DAMN HEAD — and not the twitching, shitty one on your _clearly_ undersized dick! Someone like me would fuck your ass into tomorrow and leave you a crying mess! That's the kind of power I am built for — not your _princess bullshit_ , got that?!"

I squirmed. His eyes looked wild. Were they glazed a little, too? No. I had to be wrong about that. "Got it, got it, got it," I said. His grip on my chin was so tight it started to press the inside of my mouth into my teeth in a painful fashion.

"Do you want me to tear you up from the inside out with no damn preface, Deku, aaAAH? Because that's what you'd fucking get!"

"Kacch— _what?_ " Why was he putting words to it as if he could imagine it? "I-is that the way you prefer it?"

"You fucker." And Kacchan looked mad. But this time in a way I'd never seen before. "You little fucking slutty shit."

That was when he grabbed my clothes with both hands and sent me flying into the far bench. To go with the throw, he singed my shirt with a good crackle aimed from his palms. It was completely unnecessary at that point, even if he was trying to prove something or get me to shut up — and that kind of irrationality wasn't like him. He uses force on me a lot, that's for sure, but he never uses more than necessary. He has enough strength to measure out his violence meticulously.

He's so smart and really strong. He knows how much I can handle... and I had _thought_ he always knew how much he should use, so as never to _really_ kill me.

I landed hard and wondered what monster I'd brought out and why, why it had happened. "Ow. K-Kacchan, th-that wasn't..." I tried to get up, but couldn't. I needed a moment to let the bright lights subside from my vision — because I'd hit my head.

Since I couldn't see right for a few good seconds, I couldn't tell, but I think Kacchan hesitated. He looked down at his hands, then up at me again. And then maybe he lifted one hand to his face. By the time I had blinked and my vision had cleared, whatever reaction he'd had was gone.

He looked ready to keep fighting with me... but he didn't.

He just yelled more.

Finally, I'd accomplished that. He sounded like himself again. "GOD DAMN IT, DEKU — STOP FUCKING WITH ME. STOP UNDERESTIMATING ME! I'm capable of breaking you in pieces! You think I wanna get involved with you? Got better shit to do! _Don't you?_ "

"Y-yeah... I really do..." I needed to go meet All Might. I raised a hand up to my head.

If I knew Kacchan, he was through. Great, though. He had left a lump on my head.

Just like I thought, he stormed away after that. It took me about five minutes to get up and find ice for the back of my head.

At least thinking of ice calmed me down a bit, though. It always makes me think about Todoroki, now. It's hard not to smile remembering what his Quirk is capable of. That huge ice wall that went too far... Lethal, sure — but also so beautiful. Kind of like he is, if I think hard about it?

Ah, but I'm losing my train of thought.

I've written the whole story now. I guess, seeing it here... it doesn't look like much. Maybe I'm making a big deal out of nothing? But the matter remains that I broke some new ground... and I'm panicking wondering where it might go.

Kacchan knows that I'm attracted to him, now. What's he going to do with that information? Make my life hell in new, creative ways? Or keep it secret, pretend he never learned anything? Which one do I _want_ him to do? What would I want, if I could have anything?

And why does all of this only bother me?

I just wish... god, it's useless, but. I just wish it wasn't so difficult, always. Every single thing between Kacchan and me is. It's not like I want to be a fairy tale couple with Kacchan or anything. But if Kacchan ever relaxed...

And I keep having this dumb thought. What if Kacchan was acting so out of the ordinary because he actually feels the same conflicted way about me that I do about him, and simply doesn't know what to do about it? What if he never imagined I would confess?

Could that even be possible?

No, you're reading into it, Izuku.

And that would be terrible, anyway, right? If Kacchan feels the same way about me, and if it's been there the whole time... then it's part of who Kacchan is as a person. It's part of the essence that I want to protect. And while I would do anything to make sure Kacchan stays the same... Well, I have to draw lines and make limits, don't I?

I can't _destroy_ myself for him. As much as I _am_ attracted... he said it himself, didn't he? He's not the type to treat me gently, even in that kind of intimate relationship. And I deserve better than that treatment. So I can't let anything happen between us. Isn't that right?

Or do I deserve to get destroyed, for going near Kacchan at all? For not letting sleeping dogs lie?

I think... I think I have to stop giving him so much of myself. In any way, in every way. A Hero can't give so much of his effort and care to one person who only aims to take and take — or he has nothing to give back to the world when he goes out to rescue and fight. I have to be as strong and as aware as All Might always is. It's a high bar I want to meet. All Might... He had good reasons for not pursuing his relationship with Dave, right? Or that other person he talked about, with the glasses — 'sir' something? I still don't know who that is exactly, and I feel like I should... I need to look that up. All Might is so reserved and private about so many things, unless we're talking about One For All... Is there anyone I can go to for advice? Am I going completely crazy to worry there might be something there, causing Kacchan to act so strange? Am... am I only projecting?

Kacchan is no good for me... right?

Come on, are you attracted to 'bad' boys? Leave badness for the Villains; get a grip already, Izuku.

I can't let myself feel things for Kacchan. Even if they're only physical and not a smidgeon romantic. It's about self respect, for one thing.

Sigh.

I think I'm tired of analyzing. I think I'm tired of so many things.

Is this what being a teenager in Hero school is really like?

I'll just wrap up. In conclusion, I'm not sure what to take from this. Maybe I'll understand it some time in the future. At least it's written here for posterity, even if ultimately it has no bearing on a single thing. Kacchan did and said weird things today, I caused it, and it bothers me. I feel like someone is ripping up my chest and scrambling my head and I can't find meanings. But it is what it is — so all I need to do is close this book and let it be.

But I'm sorry, Kacchan. I don't exactly know why, but I'm really so sorry — about everything. Some day, I'm going to find a way that we can just be you and me, without pride getting in the way.

Sounds idealistic, doesn't it? But it has a nice ring to it, still.

You and me.

* * *

The feeling that Izuku had been fighting for so long came to him — and hit hard — again. It came the moment class ended and he found himself looking at Todoroki.

"Class was over today in the blink of an eye," Todoroki said casually.

Izuku stood from his desk, where Todoroki had walked to meet him. He hitched his yellow backpack onto one shoulder. "Y-yeah. It seems to just fly by, especially whenever Midnight is teaching."

"She's surprisingly focused despite that she tends to get off topic commenting about people's youth."

"I can still hear you two, so you know," Midnight said. "Look at you, heads together! Ah, youth — it's so cute!"

Izuku laughed, a little strained — while Todoroki turned to Midnight and apologized for both of them. Izuku really shouldn't let him bow his head like that alone... but the thudding in his chest inhibited him from stepping up and joining in.

Todoroki turned back after a moment. "Ready?"

"Ah— yes." Izuku couldn't look at him. "Are you sure you don't want me to grab some snacks first?"

They began walking side by side for the exit. Todoroki nodded to Tokoyami and Iida along the way, to say goodbye. But nobody interrupted them or asked them where they were going together.

Nobody _ever_ seemed to come in between them when Izuku went anywhere with Todoroki. At first, that had been a blessing. Now Izuku wasn't sure if it was punishment or a curse.

Todoroki opened the door, allowing Izuku through first. "I have some senbei crackers," he said. "If you're hungry, then I don't mind if you eat them."

"But it would probably make more sense to study first, and then just eat at dinner. Right?" Izuku went through the door while making small talk, and they began walking for the dorms. When Todoroki just nodded, Izuku realized he had nothing further to say.

It always ended up like this. And it got worse and worse lately. Whenever he found himself in Todoroki's company, it felt like the whole world dropped off away from him. Izuku got left in a floating space, reeling thanks to Todoroki's impressive, unimposing, comfortable presence. Everyone but Todoroki became utterly inconsequential. Well, All Might was definitely still important. And Izuku's mom still popped into his head from time to time. Izuku wondered _especially_ what his mom would think of all this, if she only knew.

Everything Todoroki did, or said, or every look he gave Izuku... it caused a series of jolts in Izuku's chest and made him forget time and space a moment. It felt like some kind of pressure pressed on him from inside — in his head, his stomach — and only ever abated with Todoroki next to him. Then, presently, it would worsen again, depending on whatever Todoroki did after that. A harsh, vicious cycle of awkward symptoms.

Izuku sighed, examining his symptoms again. He knew he wasn't simply sick. The feelings of dizziness and giddiness had been happening too long for that. The truth was, he suspected what might have caused it... but the reality was one he tried hard to suppress.

He and Todoroki were friends. He was Todoroki's _first_ real friend. There was no benefit to threatening that situation with the fluttering urges that took over his head.

When the elevator opened on the fifth floor, Izuku straightened his shoulders and raised his face. He'd have to study despite this. He had done it before, he could do it again. The elevator ride had gone without incident, if a little more silently than usual. At least Todoroki hadn't stood close enough to him this time that Izuku could catch whiffs of the soft, laundered scent of his uniform, or gauge the temperature in body heat of whatever side he stood on. Those things... those things were details Izuku shouldn't be noticing. Or enjoying. Not like that.

But the problem was, increasingly, he wanted to. He wanted something exactly like that.

Todoroki opened his dorm room door. Immediately, the sight of the well-kept futon and tatami mats made Izuku feel worse. More uncertain and self-conscious. They walked inside. Todoroki shut the door. And Izuku knew exactly how their study session would unfold.

Perfectly. Like it always did.

The atmosphere in Todoroki's room always eventually injected Izuku with a peacefulness that gave him cause to relax. The _issue_ was that once he finally relaxed, he couldn't help but feel overly comfortable with Todoroki doing homework with him. His focus then became all for Todoroki — and the next thing Izuku knew, they were nudging each other playfully, or Todoroki was ruffling Izuku's hair absently as he reached past to snag a book, or pausing an explanation to touch Izuku's hand and remind him he shouldn't chew on his pencil's eraser... all while Izuku reflected on the shape of Todoroki's hands, the way Todoroki shifted kneeling atop his cushions, or Todoroki's knowing smirk when he asked if Izuku wanted a cup of matcha yet. The ease between them only made Izuku feel _more_ unsteady, more nervous.

More like he must be a horrible person.

Why couldn't he just concentrate? Why did his mind stray to wondering what it might be like if it were _him_ with hands in _Todoroki's_ hair? Todoroki's hair looked so soft; his heart thudded, glancing at it. At the edge of Todoroki's ear from behind, too, as Todoroki plunked his book bag in a corner and neatly toed off his shoes.

Izuku took off his shoes, too — slowly, realized he sweated. He wanted to do things that weren't appropriate between friends. He couldn't let himself name them, or the desire would grow to reach a force that he couldn't handle at all.

How terrible, for a Hero. Why couldn't Izuku fight it? He felt snared and helpless and disconnected.

"If we finish before five," Todoroki said, turning to check the digital clock on his desk, "we can get to dinner before Kaminari and the rest make a mess of that table that's by the windows. You like the tree that's out there, right? But since everyone else likes the view that's there too—" Todoroki suddenly stopped.

Izuku didn't register Todoroki's expression; he couldn't look at Todoroki that moment. But he did note the silence that came, even if he hadn't quite been following most of Todoroki's words. He said, without quite thinking, "Mm."

He swallowed. He did not want to talk about food. The talk about snacks and dinner had only been to make easy conversation. Izuku couldn't hope to eat when he felt as churned up with his feelings as this.

What he really wanted to do was crack, tell Todoroki everything. He couldn't handle this alone. But what would Todoroki say or do? He probably wouldn't do the things Izuku's imagination most wanted.

Ah, but Izuku couldn't think of that. His ears would turn red, he would go short of breath, it would be impossible for him to listen to a word—

"Midoriya?"

But he _wanted_ it. Izuku wanted it so much his feet nearly went out from under him when he found Todoroki had walked up to him.

Todoroki inquiringly cleared his throat. Izuku blinked, but found that he didn't have words.

He had urges, that was all. Actions that he wanted to take. Advantage he knew he _would_ take if he were a lesser person. Things he might do — like feign sudden weakness, for an excuse to step in closer and drop his head on Todoroki's chest.

And then what? Then what?

He shouldn't think about this.

Izuku told himself to stop. Wasn't it wrong to fantastize when they were all alone like this? Wrong if it felt like he wanted Todoroki's attention, Todoroki's whole being in such selfish ways, when Todoroki had no idea about it? And yet here, in Todoroki's room where they had enough privacy to—

No. It was true things had recently gotten more familiar between them. That was part of why Izuku suffered so much — but it was no reason to cross lines even in his head, or indulge wishful thinking like this.

"Midoriya?" Todoroki's right hand came up to touch his cheek. It was only a brush of a touch — and faintly cool, despite being a warm and gentle gesture designed to garner Izuku's full attention. Something about it seemed so _Todoroki_ that Izuku couldn't reply.

All he did was glance up and find himself tangled in Todoroki's earnest, mismatched eyes. Again. Why did it always end up with him feeling unsteady, near frightened of himself like this? Unsure if his thoughts, if his emotions were something good or something bad?

 _Because_ , Izuku told himself, _I'm probably the only one between us feeling like this._

"What's the matter?" Todoroki asked, tilting his head when he asked it.

But the question didn't _sound_ like Todoroki, even if Izuku knew it was certainly his good friend standing there before him. The question wasn't as clueless, wasn't as innocent or sweet as it might normally have been, even if it did express genuine concern. This wasn't like the other sudden times Todoroki checked in on him... and drove Izuku half crazy with that care and interest of his.

This was different. And it made Izuku scared. Scared he'd lose what he had now if he were to let on about what he wanted.

"Nothing's the matter," he said.

"Are you sure?" Todoroki asked.

Izuku swallowed, refraining from offering any more response. He got caught taking in Todoroki instead. Rather than appear curious, Todoroki's expression betrayed hesitance. Something like trepidation, too. But it wasn't that Todoroki seemed worried that Izuku might be terribly hurt, or feeling faint... Izuku couldn't put his finger on the mood Todoroki was in.

It struck him as similar to an incident they'd had a day or so ago. Sero had said to them at lunch, out of the blue, _You two have gotten closer, haven't you._

At the time, Izuku had been passing the soy sauce to Todoroki just over the table. Their fingers had brushed, Izuku had spluttered something like, _Uh, I g-g-guess we have?_ and Todoroki, nearly slipping in accepting the pot of soy sauce, had pulled away with it at that — fiercely, quietly flushing into the beef stew Iida loved, but he didn't, because Lunch Rush seared the beef with lots of fire and called his kitchen flames 'Endeavor's Fury.'

It was an incident that had made Izuku hate himself and feel guilty. Obviously Sero had been teasing them, purposely wording his question so the context could be misread — maybe trying to see what he'd get them to say. It wasn't the first time someone had asked if — or _why,_ or when — Izuku and Todoroki had become closer. Like a pair, Uraraka said. They'd grown natural and familiar with each other. After all, Todoroki did things like carry Izuku's books for him, or get the higher ones down for him in the library. Todoroki waited for him after class and walked to homeroom beside Izuku in the mornings, and would gently touch him at the small of his back if he noticed Izuku was tense from an insult that Kacchan tossed out in passing. But both of them had always known the level of intimacy there was between them.

There was none. None but that typically shared between friends. And yet, when Sero had given Izuku an opportunity to make that fact clear... When Izuku _should_ have made it clear, to keep Todoroki from flushing in such discomfort and embarrassment... Izuku hadn't spoken up. He hadn't... because it would have hurt to tell the truth when he preferred his wishful thinking instead.

Some Hero he was, some defender if he allowed such misunderstandings to happen simply because he was weak and selfish. And now, Todoroki looked uncomfortable again — even if in a slightly different fashion. He wasn't pink at the cheeks, but he looked cautious standing there, still checking in on Izuku.

Had Izuku given away — somehow, on his face, in his posture somewhere — what he had been thinking about? Did Todoroki suspect the truth? Hate it? Wish he could get out of their previous agreement to study together, now?

"Midoriya. If I've done something to bother you, or if anyone else has, I want to know it. It's egotistical of me... but I'd try very hard to make it so it never happens again." Izuku blinked. Todoroki shifted. But Todoroki's expression betrayed little. He just added, "Please say something."

Izuku focused on Todoroki's eyes, trying to find intent in _them_ instead of in the untelling line of Todoroki's lips, or in the other muscles of Todoroki's face. When he did so, Todoroki _did_ flush — just like he had during the first incident.

Todoroki then said, "Sorry. You don't need that kind of meddling from me, do you."

"Wh-what kind?" Why did Todoroki look so flustered?

"This level of someone else being selfish in trying to ensure that you're really okay."

"The... the truth is, I'm not okay." Izuku didn't think it was right to lie to his friend. But there was no way he could say _everything_.

Todoroki didn't look surprised to hear the confession. "I thought so. I've become sensitive to your moods from being close to you. But if I'm prying..." Todoroki brushed back his bangs, revealing that his flush had darkened in color. He looked away without warning.

A new thought struck Izuku then, about what Todoroki's reactions might mean. He felt a little anxious. And warmer. What if...?

But no. Could it be? Why did Izuku have a sudden hunch? Did Todoroki feel — and stand there suffering — the same uncertainties about whatever was between them that Izuku did? And not because he suspected Izuku, but... because he felt the same yearning and conflict? Mulling it over made every symptom zipping through Izuku heighten. Was that what all Torodoki's flushing, all the concern for Izuku was for? The care Todoroki took in making sure he didn't cross any lines Izuku had?

Could Izuku be so lucky?

He bit down on the inside of his cheek. No, he couldn't assume that. If he did, and he made a mistake in his haste to relate... he might lose everything entirely.

Izuku found his voice again and gave a half-hearted explanation. "I just feel... really weird, and suddenly. S-sorry, Todoroki-kun, I know that isn't very useful or very helpful or even very clear. There's nothing physically the matter, I don't think. It's just..." What were the appropriate words to use that wouldn't give it all away?

"Is it my fault?" Todoroki asked, breathing the question out on a soft exhale... but somehow making it sound as thick and laden with turbulence as a river that churned up mud. He didn't draw away, either.

In fact, Todoroki took a step closer. If it was deliberate, if it had meaning, Izuku found he couldn't analyze it. The motion simply looked... _necessary,_ somehow, like if Todoroki didn't take it, he might lose balance or falter.

But that didn't make any sense, did it? Izuku wasn't sure if anything made sense right now, so he did not try to answer. Not that he ever wanted Todoroki to think he might be responsible for Izuku's unrequited—

"Midoriya." It came out a groan. The sound of that deep voice, as if it carried desperation... It set Izuku's heart beating faster. "I might know the feeling you mean. I don't want it to be my fault if you don't feel right thanks to it. Or if you hate it. But at the same time..." Todoroki raised his right hand now to the middle of his chest, and glanced down at it as if in wonder. "At the same time, I think it would be relieving if I wasn't the only one feeling like this."

Izuku started, shocked out of the panic he'd been about to indulge in. "Y-you feel it, too? The weird, heavy feeling?" He stayed careful enough to keep his description vague, like it might be anything. Just in case, he should stay cautious. And if he got his hopes only for them to crash... "Like an attack of nerves, or a fever that triggered and became the worst when we came in here alone together?"

Todoroki blinked once, glanced aside, found Izuku's gaze again... wet his lips, made a thin line out of them... then nodded. He looked pale now instead of red.

That didn't help Izuku decide what he should make of this.

Todoroki said, "I know it's different to feel it in this case..."

"But if there's two of us, we can probably solve this." He said it before thinking; part of him always jumped forward in an attempt to solve problems before truly assessing risk.

 _Both_ of them felt something strange. What could be happening to them? What were the chances they'd _both_ feel like this? On Todoroki's end, if this was caused by something completely innocent... Was there a chance someone had used a Quirk on them to cause this? Maybe Izuku had no reason to have struggled with such difficult desires at all. Or maybe they'd caught something from a classmate.

Izuku raised one hand to his own head, then extended the other toward Todoroki's. "I wonder if we're getting—"

"Please." Todoroki's left hand caught his wrist — to prevent Izuku from touching his forehead. His grip burned with body heat, but not enough to hurt like Quirk heat would have, and the hold was something cradling and gentle. It seemed to plead — like Todoroki's voice. "I don't think I can stand it if you do that."

"A-ah! Okay — then I won't." Izuku paused. Nothing passed but for his confusion. He added, "Could you let go of me, then?"

All Todoroki did was groan again, more softly, more under his breath — like he fought with something inside himself. It was the raw, conflicted, private quality of the sound passing from Todoroki's lips and the way Todoroki squeezed his eyes shut that jolted Izuku back into the moment.

There was definitely something wrong with _Izuku,_ even if not with Todoroki. How did _just that sound alone_ and Todoroki's grip on him untie Izuku like laces — make him feel hot and lightheaded and reckless?

Izuku remarked they hadn't even moved away from the entry. He should remind them both they were supposed to study.

Todoroki uttered, "I don't want you to touch me... but I also don't want to let go. Either one seems like I can't handle it."

Izuku laughed awkwardly... and then swallowed the strange, rising lump in his breast. "Don't joke around. You can handle anything — and much better than I can, right?" He felt giddy, confused, and anchored to Todoroki as if by powerful magnet. "Besides, I'm trying to help."

Words kept escaping Todoroki's lips, although it looked like Todoroki tried his hardest to corral them in. "Sorry, Midoriya. I think I let it get too far before I brought it up to you."

Izuku opened his mouth to ask, _Brought up what?_ but Todoroki's next gesture stopped him.

With a slightly trembling, guiding touch, Todoroki moved Izuku's still-captured hand. He brought it up to brush the side of his neck.

The skin under Izuku's hand there felt clammy, like the temperature inside Todoroki wasn't regulating right; Todoroki seemed burning hot and somehow chilly both at once. Izuku only got to remark it a moment before Todoroki, grip still wavering, drew his hand somewhere else. Lower.

Izuku found his palm pressed flat against Todoroki's chest next. He couldn't help but let out a gasp when he felt the erratic, rapid, struggling drum-pattering against his fingers. "T-Todoroki-kun, you're not well at all! You're even worse off than I am!"

Todoroki's eyes shut again. "Don't say that." It wasn't a reprimand, just another strained-sounding plea. "I don't want to be the only one in this condition. But... if I am... I guess that's my own weight to bear."

Izuku blathered to cover the flush that now rose to his own features. Todoroki still hadn't lifted his own hand from on Izuku's, where it still pressed against his chest... and Todoroki couldn't possible mean what Izuku was starting to think he meant by all this, right? Was Izuku's hunch, was his wishful thinking really turning out to be real? "You don't have to bear anything alone! We can take your temperature. I'll have you sit down and I can bring you a cool glass of water if you don't feel like you're in a position right now to use your Quirk to help yourself, because I mean, that's what friends are for, and I can also run to see Recovery Girl for you if you feel like any activity might be too strenuous at the moment— oh! But I can also stay here if you don't want to be alone, because I'm sure if I texted Iida-kun he would—"

Izuku stopped when Todoroki sighed and began to sink to the ground.

His hand finally slipped from Todoroki's grip as Todoroki took unsteadily to his knees — and then said, "Sitting down is good." His voice came even more breathy.

Izuku started to panic. "I don't— D-do you want me to—"

"Don't leave," came the reply.

"I won't. I won't if that's not what you want, b-but do you want me to call...?"

"No." Todoroki's mouth turned up at one corner, wryly and just for a moment. "This happens worst of all like this, when it's just you and me under normal circumstances. Sorry. It's been escalating. It's better if I tell you about it now."

Izuku dropped to the floor across from Todoroki and peered at him. He didn't know whether to grip Todoroki's shoulders in a show of support and care or not. "If it's worse when I'm _here_ and nothing is out of the ordinary, then I should leave!" He didn't know why uttering it hurt. It was the proper logic, wasn't it? He... didn't want to go either, though.

It was easier to forget himself and his own tense, tortured state if he could focus on taking care of Todoroki. Being with Todoroki was so reassuring, so easy. But that didn't mean Izuku should be selfish if what Todoroki needed the most right now was—

"Sorry." Todoroki met Izuku's gaze again at last, eyebrows drawn together, expression tight and imploring... and perhaps a bit abashed. "I'm not explaining properly."

"That's perfectly okay! You're in a state!" Izuku flailed his hands a bit, not sure what else to do with them.

He wanted to be there. Wanted to touch, to hold, to help, whether it was wrong or not. But if Todoroki didn't want it... then what? Izuku raked a hand back through his hair.

Suddenly, Todoroki laughed. A quick, sharp series of exhales through his nose that set both his shoulders quaking. Izuku whimpered, even more confused then — until Todoroki added, "Look at me. Having symptoms enough to startle you this much, as if this is an affliction."

Izuku leaned in, heedless now. "But isn't it, wh-whatever it is? You don't look well." He put only one hand on Todoroki's shoulder, to encourage Todoroki to kneel a little straighter — so he could look Izuku in the eyes better. Izuku hadn't knelt down quite as low. The result was that, for once in their shared life, Izuku felt a few inches taller.

Todoroki just said, "The affliction is you."

Izuku's stomach flipped. He drew his hand away. "T-Todoroki-kun, if that's really the case—"

"But I don't hate it." Todoroki again caught his wrist, but this time with his _right_ hand now.

The hand wasn't cool at all, like Izuku expected it should have been. Todoroki seemed far too warm all over now.

"Maybe it's wrong of me. Or unwise or inconvenient to let my body and my mind react like this, so close to you..." Todoroki didn't appear to think when he drew Izuku's fingers up to his mouth — muttering next against the backs of them, along his knuckles carelessly. "It's been a distraction. Everyone's noticed. But it's an experience I wouldn't change even if the choice were mine."

Izuku tried to follow Todoroki's words. He tried, but logical thoughts flew from him. He should respond. But his body felt frozen — strange considering the heat that crashed over him in one wild, overwhelming wave. And the warmth that radiated from Todoroki, too.

Todoroki's lips. They were satin against the tough, ridged scars up and down Izuku's fingers. He couldn't think. He couldn't really breathe.

"I don't know if it's that I'll never have enough of you, or I've already had too much." Todoroki spoke as if his reservations and cautions fell away from him like blossoms being carried away on a breeze. Or maybe the sweetness was simply the sweep of his breath across Izuku's hand as he kept on. "But you affect me in this way. I've never felt so turbulent near anyone I knew before. That says something, considering certain things I've gone through. This kind of emotion, this kind of uncertain reaction is maddening — but I haven't tried to fight it. It's so much stronger than I am. And what's more, like a rush, it feels too good. It might not be safe." Todoroki turned Izuku's hand around — so instead of the back of Izuku's hand, he had possession of Izuku's palm and fingertips. "And yet I don't want it to stop."

He kissed Izuku's fingers now, deliberately — and now there was no mistaking any of the hot and cold boy's meaning.

A wave of dizziness prompted the sound Izuku made next. Acknowledgement and his gut reaction. " _Oh._ "

Todoroki kissed his fingertips twice more, while exhaling a shaky breath between kisses. Then his eyes darkened, hooded by eyelashes that said he felt weighed down with a burden he didn't think he could control.

Izuku related to those sentiments. Something powerful had taken over both of them. It was terrifying, yet thrilling thanks to how much Izuku had wanted it.

Impossible. His dreams were coming true?

Todoroki added, voice further unsteady, "I feel like I'll die if this stops."

Izuku, too, felt a push from inside himself that told him not to allow this to stop. If this wasn't a good idea, his rational side didn't care any more; it stopped functioning when Todoroki's lips traveled to his wrist instead. Feathery kisses, tiny tastes and explorations of lips and teeth tingled the sensitive skin.

Izuku shuddered. His breaths came more quickly and again he swallowed.

"Do you like this?" Todoroki asked.

"U-um." Why wasn't Izuku's brain functioning? The least he could do was consent properly. If he didn't, surely Todoroki would pull away.

"Do you like me?" Todoroki asked.

Izuku felt unbalanced noticing the way Todoroki's breathing had picked up as well. But Todoroki was cooler about it, more composed. He was better than Izuku at everything.

Izuku got muddled, watching Todoroki move his gray-blue gaze from his eyes, to his lips, then to his throat and his collar bone, looking bewitched and... and parched. Thirsty. Hungry.

"T-Todoroki-kun, you're making me..."

The remaining distance between them shrank more; Todoroki rose higher on his knees and moved in. He let the hand that didn't hold Izuku's drift toward Izuku's face — but he didn't touch. "Midoriya. Tell me I'm crazy," he murmured. "Stop me. Tell me that I'm going too far."

Izuku's voice cracked. "I can't do that."

"Are you going to smash me instead?" Calm. Ready.

"No." Izuku forced his brain to find the words. "You're making me face how much I want this as well. I like this — I just couldn't put decent words to it like you could. I didn't want to risk it." He felt Todoroki's hold on him tighten, then loosen. Was Todoroki mad at him for holding back? "D-don't pull away now. I don't know what I'd have to do if you did that."

The next moment between them took Izuku aback. Todoroki _did_ pull away — but in something like astonishment... as his eyes welled and a tear slipped down the cheek that still showed his childhood scar. "Could I really be lucky enough that you feel this on close to the same level I do?"

Izuku smiled briefly, reaching out just as quickly to brush away the tear. "Maybe it's luck, but it could be fate that we became friends and started to feel this way about each other — right?"

Todoroki stared and didn't say anything.

Izuku's pitched sailed. "D-did I say something too weird? Did you not want me to see you cry?"

"You break my control when you're being this cute."

"C-cute? Ah— _control?_ " Izuku cried, flushing. "How can you say a thing like that when you're sitting there perfectly still, looking r... r- _really_ attractive and cool like you always do, and I can't even compete because I'm over here stammering and I don't even know what to say because I can't even think when you're this nice to me?"

Finally, Todoroki seemed to relax. His posture loosened all over. "You may have to get used to that. I would give you the moon because you deserve it, if it would only come down to UA and fight me."

"T-Todoroki-kun! You can't take the moon away from other people!"

"Then I could freeze some moon rocks into ice crystals, and string them up for you like beads."

"Wh-wh-wh-wh-why would you—"

"Or light some on fire like stars and give them to you in lanterns, to light your way like your existence always seems to do for me."

Izuku reclaimed his hand and dropped his face into it, spluttering. "I-I don't know how you are so—"

"I've been thinking about it this way maybe since right after the festival. I can stop if you want me to." Todoroki reached out toward Izuku again, tucking a hand into Izuku's hair. But all he did was run his fingers lightly over the spot behind Izuku's ear. His expression considered Izuku in something like wonder but also caution. "I might be teasing you now instead of anything else because I'm scared." He frowned downward at the tatami. "I am relieved. And happy, too. But I also know how much it means to me to have you close in any sense... so I'd rather go slowly than push you too hard and risk making you change your mind because I asked you for too much. I couldn't bear—"

"It will never be too much." Izuku's sudden, firm exclamation made Todoroki's eyes widen. "If I'm honest with myself, Todoroki-kun... there might have been something I felt for you that pointed at this from the very beginning. I'm as drawn to you as you are toward me — and it only gets stronger the more time I get to spend with you." It felt embarrassing, but also good to say the words out loud.

Todoroki exhaled. "Midoriya..."

"I'm sorry I didn't say as much sooner. I didn't want it to come between us, either — and I never thought you'd feel the same way about me. I really like you, Todoroki-kun, regardless of what anyone else says these kinds of feelings mean. And I'm not opposed to anything that happens from here on out. So...?"

Todoroki leaned in, voice husky again. "So?"

Izuku said, offering his fingers back to Todoroki's lips boldly, "So keep going. P-plus ultra."

Todoroki groaned and kissed his fingertips another time, considering, evaluating — while Izuku tried not to blush or shiver. But then Todoroki seemed to let go of something — or unleash it entirely.

He leaned in, caught up the small of Izuku's back, and pulled them closer together. He murmured against Izuku's neck, Izuku's ear, Izuku's hair as he held on in an embrace that came with wandering hands, heat, and everything tender. "Every time I think I'm satisfied with what you and I share, you make it so I want to have more and become even closer."

"Me too," Izuku said, clinging to the solidity of Todoroki's shoulders. And what a relief to say it. Todoroki's skin, his clothes smelled so good. Their bodies felt so perfect tucked together. "I keep wanting to become closer to you." He buried his face in Todoroki's shoulder.

"It's a desire beyond anything predictable or rational. I don't do well reining it in..."

At that, Izuku knew what Todoroki must be seeking to confirm. Again? Or maybe Izuku still hadn't been clear enough — about what he was giving the go ahead for.

Really, Todoroki was the one who was cute when it came to the two of them.

Izuku grinned despite the overwhelming welling of relief and gratefulness inside him that made him want to cry instead. "It's been the same for me, and been driving me crazy. I can't think about anything except you." Todoroki made a surprised sound. "I tried to deny it, but it didn't work. My mind has gone to places I can't say out loud, more times than I can really count. That's how I know what I want — and why I'm not scared about what you want, too. I've probably already considered anything you could think up..." He hoped Todoroki wouldn't judge him for it.

Todoroki pulled away enough to slip a hand up between them. His thumb ran the length of Izuku's lower lip. Had Izuku assuaged his fears? He said, raw, "Midoriya..." Was that a plea? A reprimand? "If you say 'anything' like that..." He still looked like he thought he ought to hold back. If not out of fear about Izuku's feelings, then out of chivalry or propriety. But his _actions_ belied his expression and said he wavered on the cusp of physical control.

Was it horrible to encourage that? Izuku wriggled against Todoroki's body, getting closer and more comfortable, and Todoroki's gasp and following groan was audible and indicative of his desire.

"If I'm making you a little insane," Izuku said, eyes narrowing as he proved he had his own way of teasing, "then I think you finally know what I've gone through is equal to what you have, and thus where we stand." He talked even though Todoroki hadn't removed his touch from his lips — returning between sentences the kisses he'd gotten on his own fingers. "Wondering whether it'd be okay to do everything my brain was telling me I wanted to do around you... Feeling like I couldn't stand it, like I could barely hold back, wanting to hold your hand, cuddle up to you, ask you if I could wear your shirts or your sweatshirt..."

Todoroki chuckled once, a relieved sound — then grew twice as serious, stone-faced. "I want those things, too. I understand. But my thoughts extend—"

"Far beyond those things. R-right?" Izuku batted Todoroki's shoulder. He didn't want to hesitate — he _couldn't_ , not with so many truths finally free between them, and so much desire steadily pooling there. "I'm the same. I-I'm a young man with hormones too, you know!"

"Mm." Todoroki's breathing had picked up again; Izuku could feel it when Todoroki dipped to taste the crook of his neck as if he couldn't help himself.

Todoroki's reservations were vanishing, which made Izuku glad he had confessed so much. If he had to confess any more, he couldn't. Not with Todoroki suddenly biting and sucking a spot at the base of his throat.

" _Aaah—_ Todoroki-kun!" Izuku felt his brain go blank, registering the flash of pleasure like a light that whited out everything else.

Todoroki pulled away, flushed — the slightest bit of steam riding out on his exhale. "Acceptable?" he asked, breathless.

"Ah! Y-yes. Do anything." Izuku dug fingertips into Todoroki's back. "Do everything you want to do — if you let me do it to you, then, too."

"I want to do all sorts of this and that..."

Izuku was finished letting Todoroki consider. "Well, you're a little slow to start — so I guess I'll have to move first." He watched Todoroki's eyes blow wide as he buried one hand in Todoroki's hair.

He let his body move before his mind caught up. He had grabbed the red side of Todoroki's hair — and now he raked it back while leaning in. He planted a butterfly kiss first against the still-scarred eyelid there. And then, while Todoroki blinked in surprise, Izuku pulled him down into a different kiss.

He'd been wondering what a kiss with Todoroki would feel like. Half cold, half hot, depending on which corner of Todoroki's mouth he kissed? Chapped lips from the cool, frosty air Todoroki so often breathed? Rough from minor burns thanks to steam? On Izuku's neck a moment ago, the sensation had simply been soft. And now Izuku learned himself while meeting mouths... A kiss with Todoroki was slow, melting bliss.

Todoroki's lips were smooth as unfurling leaves in springtime. They tasted faintly peppermint; the hot and cold boy wore a soothing chapstick. The temperature Izuku felt kissing him was warm, but nothing out of the ordinary. Was Todoroki trying hard to regulate his temperature so as not to harm Izuku? Was a feat like that harder to accomplish in the state of arousal they were coming to?

But the questions Izuku had — about details he might have written in his notebook — left him incredibly quickly, replaced by a reeling sensation when Todoroki tightened his hold and kissed him back.

Izuku didn't know how many moments passed after that. He knew a few sounds escaped him, but _Todoroki's_ music was what invaded him and wiped out conscious thought; Todoroki couldn't seem to help the broken notes, the wavering hums that came from him as he kissed back with hands gripping Izuku's hips. The sounds propelled Izuku on, to quicker, deeper kisses and grasping hands. Todoroki held him as if for dear life, until Izuku's tongue swept out... and Todoroki, shuddering, softly broke their kiss on a moan.

They were already kneeling on the tatami, but Izuku felt weak enough he would collapse. Todoroki looked not much better off. If they took to the floor, Izuku wondered vaguely, which of them would be on top? He decided he wanted Todoroki above him, surrounding him, filling his senses and his vision everywhere.

They exchanged twin gazes of awe. Awe... and insatiable hunger for more.

Todoroki said, struggling with the words, "I... didn't think anything could shake me this hard."

They'd _both_ underestimated the potency of their attraction, then, maybe. Or maybe they were so new to intimacy of this sort they were shocked at how good it could feel.

"I-it's really moving somehow, right? It's almost too much to take in. But so good." Izuku looked at his hands. They quaked, like the world around him shook as well.

Then he looked down in between them. Ah, something else was affected now, too.

Todoroki didn't look down, although Izuku could tell — could _feel_ — by now how Todoroki was reacting, too, thanks to contact with each other. Izuku laughed breathlessly, thrilled and flattered and embarrassed at the same time.

"How do you do this to me?" Todoroki's question cracked. Then he leaned back in. "Strike every chord in me right to the core?"

"You do it to me, too? I guess—"

Todoroki kissed him again. Izuku made a sound, satisfied but startled. How was Todoroki so natural and smooth at something as consuming, as distracting as this? Izuku clung to him and reciprocated, hoping he didn't seem as unsteady as he felt with his head clogged by Todoroki's closeness, or his scent...

Todoroki yet again pulled back, shaking his head. "I don't mean how you make my body react, although that's getting... harder... to ignore. I mean right here." He pointed a forefinger at the center of Izuku's chest.

Izuku covered his face with both hands, overwhelmed again that Todoroki returned his feelings in every single sense. "Aaah, I don't know, I don't _know—_ "

"There's things I want to do to you to make you cry my name aloud, but there's also an urge to write you poetry until nightfall."

Izuku peeked out from his hands. And then he burst into laughter.

Todoroki frowned. "Did I say something wrong?"

"No, no!" But Izuku still laughed. "I know what you mean, but the wording, it just—" He felt sure his lips formed a wiggly smile.

They had drifted apart to speak more naturally — but now Todoroki swept him closer again. He held Izuku close, one hand pressed to his back, the other settling on the nape of his neck. He murmured with his chin resting atop Izuku's head. "If it's not too much trouble, can we stop here for now?"

Izuku stiffened, a bit astonished. "Of course we can," he said at once, more baffled than disappointed. "But d-didn't you want to do all 'this and that?'"

"Yes," and Todoroki's voice husked, "there's no mistaking that I want to do that. But..." He kissed the top of Izuku's head, squeezing him a little tighter. "This feeling of becoming much closer to you... It's even more precious than I'd imagined. I want to take in every ounce of it in the most meticulous fashion I can. I don't know how to say this, but..."

"S-so you want to savor it?" Izuku spoke right away, helping him. He could well understand Todoroki's wishes.

And it was cute and romantic to have such a thing said to him.

Todoroki nodded. "That. But also, if we do too much more right now... one or both of us would probably come too fast. The experience would be over in a flash if we don't work to hold it back."

Izuku pulled away and stared, his face hot like a stove burner. Todoroki looked back at him matter-of-factly.

His reply came fast and high pitched — while he batted at Todoroki's firm shoulders. "That's not fair at all! Y-y-you don't have to say it so directly like that! Even though it's probably completely true because we've been pent up so long imagining doing things with each other, that's not the kind of thing I want to hear, even though I agree with you—" Todoroki, still straight-faced, caught and held Izuku's hands away from him. Izuku kept trying to flail anyway. "Because the image of one or both of us enjoying things to that level just makes me want to _do_ it right now, and—!"

"But isn't that part of the fun? I don't hate knowing that I can make you lose your focus to this extent..."

Izuku flushed more, mortified. "That— that's not— I won't lose, you know! If you want to make it about torture like _that_..."

Todoroki's mouth finally twitched. "Ah." He let Izuku reclaim his hands. "Are we rivals too, then, in bed?"

Izuku stood up, walked to the futon, and threw the pillow from atop it so it sailed for Todoroki's head. "If we are, then I want to win — by taking care of you to the utmost!" Were these the kinds of crazy things that now would get said between them?

He tried not to grin at the idea. He wouldn't truly mind it.

Todoroki caught the pillow and stood, too. "I see. Then I'll give everything I've got, too. Try not to take advantage of the fact that you know I'm weak in your presence."

"Come over here," Izuku demanded.

Todoroki walked to meet him. They stood facing each other at the futon's end. "In the situation that we're joking about, the truth is both of us would win..."

Izuku pressed his head against Todoroki's chest, snuggling there to his heart's content. They both did nothing for a long moment.

They just stood quietly, embracing each other again. Izuku closed his eyes and felt happy their feelings lined up to the degree they did. Todoroki's heartbeat, his scent... they all made Izuku smile. Whether he got closer just then or not, or in what way... It didn't matter just then.

The important part was that they both had confessed, and had already come this far. That he knew they would go farther.

That much was good enough for him.

* * *

 **Author Note:** _I hope people enjoyed these shorts just a little._

 _I'm not confident writing from Midoriya's point of view... but I don't regret having tried it._


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